Recovery after an Affair, Infidelity and Adultery Therapists in Portsmouth
Infidelity is a growing problem nowadays, with estimates of almost half of all men admitting that they’ve been unfaithful to their wives or partners at some point in their relationship. Maybe the pressures in modern relationships are just becoming too much to bear for many people, leading to an increase in those seeking counseling for infidelity or adultery-related issues.
Why Do We Do it?
We cheat on our partners and commit adultery for many reasons. Most of the time we’re just unhappy at home, we feel that our partner is neglecting us and we feel lonely within our own marriages. Sometimes we’re just missing that old spark that we used to have. Sometimes we’re screaming out for help and want to get caught, want to get noticed in order to shake things ups. Whatever the reasons why, adultery almost certainly means that something is broken somewhere within that marriage.
The thing that no-one disputes, though, is the fact that adultery causes damage. Some of the major effects are listed below:
- Anger. How can he/she DO this to me?
- Lack of self-worth/self-esteem
- Shattered trust.
These feelings are completely natural, but the thing to remember is that it’s not just the betrayers fault alone. Something was broken for it to get this far and both parties are responsible for that. Counseling for adultery can help discover what was broken and how, if possible, it can be fixed.
Seeing a Counselor
A marriage or relationship counselor who offers counseling for infidelity is somebody worth thinking about seeing when your marriage or relationship is affected by adultery. A qualified professional counselor will help in the following ways:
- Determine the cause/causes of the infidelity. What was wrong to make this happen?
- Work with the unfaithful partner to manage their guilt and see what triggered the behavior
- Work with the faithful partner to manage their feelings (rage, betrayal) and channel them into something more positive
- Help the couple actually talk about the affair/infidelity
- Help the couple build on their common ground for the future.
There is no magic bullet when it comes to infidelity and adultery. It’s an incredibly heartbreaking, painful situation for any marriage or relationship and it can take a lot of time—years even—to get over. But counseling can certainly help that to happen if both parties want it to happen. Please reach out to us to schedule your first counseling session if you’re in this situation and feel like you need help.
Thriveworks Associates22 Little Pine Lane Exeter, NH 03833