Elizabeth recently broke up with her boyfriend of two years. They lived together and had a shared social circle. Elizabeth has been struggling. She cries frequently, is depressed, and constantly thinks of ways she might rekindle their relationship. She doesn’t feel comfortable going places they frequented together, and she met many of the people she considers her friends through him, making it awkward to call them now that they’re no longer together. Elizabeth could use some help getting back on track.
Breaking up is definitely hard to do. Even a mutual decision to end a relationship can be difficult. The issue of separating from one’s lover, partner, or spouse exerts huge emotional strain. This is an uncomfortable situation that often throws people into confusion as they struggle to get rid of painful past memories while embracing a peaceful new life.
Common Feelings During Relationship Breakups
Sadness and anger are common for anyone going through a breakup, but feelings may be more complex than these single emotions. You may be glad to be single but feel guilty for breaking up. Or, you may be incredibly hurt by the actions of your previous partner, yet you want to get back together. These combinations of feelings and many others are valid.
Dissolving a relationship between married people or people who have otherwise previously acknowledged a commitment to a future together is even more difficult than losing a dating relationship. If you add children, pets, or shared property, things can become additionally strained (Rhoades). Though some of the items on the list below (such as altered sleep patterns) are relatively minor if experienced in the short-term, some of them—such as suicidal thoughts—are very serious when experienced even once, and they should be treated as such. If you’re experiencing any of the symptoms below, whether briefly or for an ongoing period, please call Thriveworks Westminster counseling immediately:
- Loss of motivation
- Real physical pain
- Poor sleeping pattern
- Nervousness or anxiety
- Thoughts of committing suicide
The breakup issues highlighted above are very difficult. They’re difficult enough, in fact, that it’s advisable you not try to handle them alone. It’s okay to reach out for help. Talking to an experienced breakup therapist can eventually bring relief and healing. Our counselors take your struggle seriously, and we know that with therapy, you can return to a stable space, able to move forward with your life.
Challenges People Usually Face After Breakups
Below are the three main areas in which those breaking up are likely to face challenges:
During and after a breakup, some people will withdraw from their normal interactions with friends, associates, and colleagues. This is often the case if those interactions would have normally included their ex-partner. Similarly, previously mutual friends may “pick” one partner or the other. Counseling can help with the inevitable social changes that will occur due to a breakup.
In a relationship, partners often share finances to some degree. When relationships end, partners are typically responsible for their own financial needs. Thriveworks Westminster counselors are familiar with the difficulty financial stress brings, and we can help you develop a plan to manage the new financial responsibility.
People who have gone through breakups often exhibit depression and mood swings as part of the rollercoaster of the post-breakup experience. It’s important to maintain mental balance, especially in the weeks and months immediately post-breakup, in order to heal and make good decisions for the future.
When we dissolve a relationship, we lose more than a friend, lover, activity partner, and co-decision-maker. All areas of life are impacted, including areas you might not have expected pre-breakup. Picking out gifts for family may feel odd if that was previously a joint activity. Eating meals alone may take some adjustment. Breakup counseling can help with these adjustments and more. Our counselors have helped many patients experiencing the pain of a breakup, and we can help you too.
How Can a Qualified Relationship Counselor Help in this Case?
Though some people are able to cope with a breakup just fine on their own, many others would benefit from talking with a qualified relationship counselor or therapist. The therapist can help in the ways described below. A relationship therapist will:
- Listen carefully to the affected party and give practical suggestions. This may include help processing the breakup and moving forward as well as assistance establishing a new normal, particularly in regard to habits and routines.
- Provide real-time counseling according to the initial information gathered from the affected party.
- Keep the counseling real and give concrete, actionable advice.
- Carefully guide the affected party through a process of self-recovery. In some ways, you may have forgotten who you are outside of a relationship. The goal of counseling is to improve quality of life. It’s a process, but you can heal and rediscover the best version of yourself.
- Establish an aura of positivity for boosting the self-confidence of the affected party.
- Help the affected party eliminate guilt and self-accusation from his or her mind. Whether or not the decision was mutual, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of self-blame. Thriveworks Westminster counselors can help you break that pattern and develop healthier self-talk.
- Create an attitude of self-expression and better communication skills in the affected partner. You may not be interested in another relationship for awhile, and that’s completely okay. Improved communication skills are beneficial in and out of romantic relationships, and usually lead to stronger relationships in general.
Book a Session with a Thriveworks Counselor
Thriveworks Westminster counselors have seen it all—breakups between friends, spouses, same-sex couples, heterosexual couples, long-term lovers, and short-term relationships. Whatever your situation, you’re not alone. Our counselors are here to help. You can live a fulfilling life, and we can help you get there. All it takes to begin is a single phone call. We’ll help you the rest of the way.
We don’t have a waiting list. Don’t wait any longer. Contact us today.