The truths we tell in therapy can go deep, but sometimes there’s fear around the consequences of those truths. Whether being honest has hurt us in the past, or we’re worried about what our therapists might do if we tell them the full truth, many of us consider what we…
Your abuser does not get to define the rest of your life. You can know this intellectually, but it’s a whole different beast to know it in your body. People who experience sexual assault might internalize their fear and trauma so they continue to feel unsafe in their skin. They…
Trigger warning: This content might be triggering or traumatizing to survivors of sexual assault or other forms of violence. It might also be disturbing or upsetting to some readers. First and foremost, sexual assault is never the survivor’s fault. This is the most important piece of information, ahead of understanding…
Pets and kids are notoriously bad at respecting bedroom boundaries. These big-eyed housemates have been known to claw at doors, swat at exposed body parts, and whine when they’re excluded from intimate activities. I’m thinking of toddlers of course, but this behavior applies to pets as well. Have you ever…
On January 3rd, a snowstorm pummelled the East Coast, and Fredericksburg, Virginia (my home) got the brunt of it. The first couple hours of snowfall were idyllic. I enjoyed the white, winter backdrop in the window behind me, as I sipped my coffee and completed the day’s journal entry (hello,…
Forgive yourself. Let it go. Forget about it. Move on. It’s easy to say, but so much harder to actually do! We all mess up sometimes, whether it’s lashing out at a friend, engaging in self-destructive behavior, or cutting corners at work. And with those mistakes often come overwhelming feelings…
Shame: There is something wrong with me as a person. Guilt: I’m a person who may have done something wrong. What is the thing that causes you to lay awake at night; the thing that causes you shame? I promise that you’re not damaged beyond repair. You’re not unlovable. You’re…
Many of us shiver or clam up at the mention of sex (we’ll get into why later) but talking about sex (when and where appropriate) is vital to our health and wellbeing—these conversations allow us to understand safe sex practices, explore our personal feelings about sex, and ultimately maintain a…
When we feel ashamed of our secrets, we’re more likely to think about them over and over again. We can better cope by shifting away from shame and toward guilt. A Columbia University study asked 1,000 participants questions about their secrets, including how much shame and guilt they associated with…
