Marriage and Couples Counseling – Therapists in Plymouth MA
Parker and his wife have been married for nearly twenty-five years. For the last ten of those years he’s been sleeping on the couch. While his wife would welcome him back into their bedroom, that implies a level of intimacy he just doesn’t feel anymore. In fact, he feels like he lives with his best friend, not his wife.
Parker’s wife, Angie, loves her husband but doesn’t think he knows the first thing about her—her hopes, her dreams, or frankly even what she likes on her pizza. They have children together, and even though they’re grown she doesn’t even want to consider how badly it would hurt them if their parents split up.
Angie and Parker would do well to consider couples therapy. In their case, it’s possible that during couples therapy they would come to realize they would be stronger friends than they could be spouses, but it’s also likely that they would go through a process of rediscovery in which their relationship is rebuilt and they become closer than they’ve ever been.
Maintenance Is Key
Here’s the thing about marriage: when you first marry, it’s all roses and rainbows. While you may have fought as an unmarried couple, you couldn’t fathom how that might change over the next five, ten, or fifteen years. If you lived together, it may have seemed that the changes would be negligible. How could you possibly do anything but be happy?
After you live together and go through the many ups and downs that life brings, after you pass years together and change as people, things can shift in a negative direction—if you let them. While all couples go through tough times, if those tough times are not managed properly, they can cause you to drift apart.
One key to maintaining closeness in a marriage or long-term partnership is continually spending time together and putting the relationship first. If either or both members of the relationship begin to focus on their career to the point that the time they have available to spend with their spouse becomes seriously limited or nonexistent, fewer activities and new experiences will be prioritized.
Time spent together engaging in activities you mutually enjoy, particularly new activities, allows you to continually create new memories with your partner. If new and pleasant memories aren’t made on a regular basis, it begins to feel that all the fun with your partner was in the past. New experiences, even after being together for twenty years, help bond you closer together. This is also true for maintaining a healthy relationship, and many of the skills you’ll learn in counseling can help you do just that—maintain an already healthy or recovered relationship (Whitbourne).
We’ve worked with many couples in crisis, many of whom, at the beginning of therapy, can’t fathom wanting to go on a trip or develop a hobby with their spouse. Thriveworks Plymouth counselors know how painful and stressful living in a distant, unhappy relationship feels, but they’ve helped many couples rebuild their relationships, and they’re waiting to help you, too.
You Can Be Happy Again
If you are only recently considering couples therapy, you may wonder what it’s like. It is not a refereed match between you and your spouse. The therapist is a neutral participant in a conversation between partners. Your couples counselor will help you determine what issues are at the core of your relationship struggles. Most likely you and your partner need help with communication, but luckily communication is a skill and your therapist can help you learn it.
You can improve your relationship and develop the closeness we all want from our romantic partnerships. Don’t wait any longer—your partner, and you, deserve the relationship that is possible. Thriveworks Plymouth MA counselors are waiting to help you.
Thriveworks Plymouth MA Marriage and Couples Therapy
Thriveworks Plymouth MA counselors know how painful it can be to live in a relationship that is consistently unhappy. Because we want you to get the help you need when you need it, we don’t maintain a waiting list and can normally see new clients within 24 hours of their initial call. A loving, happy relationship is possible.
Whitbourne, Susan Krauss. “5 Principles of Effective Couples Therapy.” 2012. Psychologytoday.com.