Today’s society puts a large emphasis on love. The message seems to be, if you aren’t in love, then you must be lonely. And while love and relationships can be fulfilling, life-giving, and full of joy, they can also have a dark side.
Codependency is a twisted version of love found in many relationships. It is when the desire to be needed starts to take over, and love becomes destructive. It can be a painful experience especially because the people involved in a codependent relationship are honestly full of love and care for their partner. But for some relationships, all it can take is a nudge and the selfless love can turn into a pathological need to be needed.
When we deny ourselves for the sake of another, or prevent them from learning and growing by themselves, we deny ourselves and our loved one the possibility of a truly happy, fulfilling life. Codependent relationships are not cute, loyal, or a demonstration of true love.
It is possible to heal from a codependent relationship and grow into a healthy one. You do not have to cut ties from your loved one completely, and it is possible to get back on track. So, if you find yourself in the midst of a codependent relationship, Thriveworks in The Woodlands is here to help. Love shouldn’t be confining or destructive the way codependency is. Together, we can heal from a codependent relationship and rediscover what love truly is.
For more information, or to schedule an appointment today, give us a call at 281-667-9790.
What Is Codependency?
Codependency is not limited to romantic relationships. It can be found in every type of relationship- romantic, friendship, family, etc. Every relationship will show codependency a little differently. The general formula is easy, though: the desire to be needed plus an overreliance on your partner.
Caring for someone isn’t a bad thing; being selfless in a relationship is part of what makes them healthy. However, when the only fulfilment and satisfaction you get is when you’re with your partner, it becomes dangerous, both to the giving and receiving member.
For example:
Two best friends move in together. Soon, they’re spending all their time together. Slowly they lose their outside friends and their relationship with their families struggle. One friend has struggled with depression for a few years now and relies on his roommate for relief from it. The other roommate attends to his every need- cooking food, cleaning the house. He’s a natural caregiver, Afterall, and together, they’re happy.
The reason why codependent relationships are hard to spot is that the above situation could be healthy. Friendship is wonderful and creating a web of supporting friends and family members when you’re struggling with a mental illness is crucial. But when your whole world starts to revolve around your partner, things can get dangerous.
Usually, a codependent relationship goes both ways. One member gives in some way and receives in some way. Both are too entangled in their net of needs to realize that their relationship is toxic.
Remember, a codependent relationship is less about the actions of the members and more about the psychological state as they act.
Do you feel like taking care of your partner is the only thing that matters? If you weren’t there, would they be okay? Do you feel driven to provide for your partner in an insatiable way?
Some more concrete signs of codependency include:
- Fear of abandonment
- A deep desire for approval
- Giving to the relationship to the point of mental or physical harm
- Being terrified of the relationship coming to an end
- Taking responsibility for your partner’s actions
- Indecision when it comes to your personal life
- Trouble separating personal feelings with partner’s feelings
- Difficulty in communicating personal needs
- Doubt in your ability to live a successful life on your own
- Difficulty saying “no”
Codependency can be a scary situation that takes until there’s nothing left to take, and then take some more. This is not the love you or your partner deserve! For more information on codependency or to schedule an appointment today, give Thriveworks Woodlands a call at 281-667-9790.
How Can Thriveworks in The Woodlands Help with Codependent Relationships?
Codependent relationship counseling in The Woodlands, TX will always stay focused on the client- you! While we are the professionals on counseling, mental health, and codependency, you are still the expert on yourself. Our job is not to tell you what to do, but to help you get to a mindset where you can make the best choices for yourself and the future of your relationships.
The Woodlands codependency counseling will be by your side for all of the counseling decisions. Together, we can learn how to:
- Make room for your own personal thoughts and feelings while accepting them without judgement
- Say no
- Let someone try and fail on their own in a respectful and loving way
- Prioritize your physical and mental self
- Acknowledge the value you have as an individual
- Communicate your needs and desires
You are a wholly complete person on your own. While it can be painful to step away from a codependent relationship, it will be healthier for both of you in the long run. You also don’t have to do it alone. Thriveworks Woodlands is here to make the process go as smooth as possible, so you can continue to live with healthy love in your life. For more information or to schedule an appointment today, give Thriveworks The Woodlands a call at 281-667-9790.
