Newport News Marriage Counseling

Therapists in Newport News, VA—Marriage Counseling

Your marriage is different. Your spouse is different. Maybe you are different. Something changed. What was it? When did it happen? It was definitely subtle, but it was definitely real. Maybe times like this are why you vowed to love each other “in good times and bad, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health.” This is definitely a time of difficulty, poverty, and sickness. Conversations that used to be filled with patience, understanding, and empathy are now rushed and cold. Tension escalates quickly. Then, coldness sets in. This is not the relationship either of you envisioned when you said those marriage vows, and like many other couples, you are struggling. Like many other couples, you are also considering marriage counseling.

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”
—Barbara De Angelis

Many couples reach a point in their marriages where they never wanted to reach. They are not experiencing a happily-ever-after. For some, it happens slowly. For others, it happens in an instant. That is why forty percent of first time marriages end in divorce. And yet, that means sixty percent of spouses work through their differences and stay together. What is the right path forward? Only you and your spouse can decide, but there is help. Many couples go to marriage therapy.

All spouses experience difficulty, and when those hard times come, the marriage therapists and psychologists at Thriveworks Newport News are ready to help. It is normal to struggle. It is also normal to reach out. Marriage therapy has helped many spouses establish a healthier relationship, regardless of what form they choose for that relationship to take.

Should We Go to Marriage Therapy?

When spouses are struggling, they are often desperate for any kind of change. They may wonder if marriage therapy will help and if their struggle is the type of thing other couples go to marriage therapy for. Marriage therapy is not a magic potion that quickly restores marital bliss. Working toward a healthy marriage takes effort and time. As Barbara De Angelis says, marriage is a verb. Here are a few of the reasons other couples have come to marriage therapy to work on their relationship…

1) One or both spouses have had an affair.
Adultery is often a point of crisis for a marriage. It may signal the end of the relationship. It may spur each spouse to make needed changes. It is the spouse’s decision, but in either case, they have many difficulties to navigate. Marriage therapists often help spouses navigate the challenges moving forward, whatever future they are moving toward.

2) You are trying to change your spouse, or your spouse is trying to change you.
An important principle for healthy relationships is that people cannot change others—each individual is responsible for their own personal growth. This principle is particularly important in a marriage. When spouses are trying to change each other, there may be real areas that each spouse need to address and change. However, trying to change someone else is not the path to take. This rarely produces healthy, long-lasting change. Instead, it often introduces shame, disappointment, and frustration into the relationship. Marriage counseling can often teach spouses how to take responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings, choices, and growth.

3) Tension or apathy are stunting the relationship.
Certain problems can leave spouses stuck. Sometimes, being stuck looks like fire. Sometimes, it looks like ice. Sometimes, spouses fight all the time but never resolve the issue. Sometimes, spouses use apathy as a weapon and ignore each other as well as the problem. In either case, the marriage is in trouble. When tensions run high or when apathy runs high, it may be time to go to marriage counseling. Therapists often help spouses identify the underlying issue and learn conflict resolution skills.

Setting Up Marriage Therapy at Thriveworks Newport News

There are several ways that marriage therapy may benefit spouses who are struggling. Counselors and psychologists often help spouses…

  • Pinpoint unhelpful patterns of behavior. It can be difficult for spouses within the marriage to see the patterns that play out and undermine their intimacy. Marriage therapists, however, often see these patterns clearly and help their clients see them too. Once they are pinpointed, these unhealthy patterns can be changed.
  • Learn relational skills. Marriage takes hard work, but it also takes interpersonal and conflict resolution skills. Sometimes, spouses need to work smarter instead of harder, but they have never learned how. Marriage therapists often teach their clients these important relational skills.
  • Set a timeline for change. Certain ways of relating are more problematic than others. When safety is a concern, changes need to be made as soon as possible. Other adjustments take time. Marriage counselors can often set a reasonable pace for change.
  • Better manage present issues and prepare for future conflicts. This is a staple of a little something called the Gottman Method. The Gottman Method is an approach to marriage counseling and couples therapy that has a foolproof plan for helping couples improve their overall relationship. We have marriage counselors who have Level 1 Training in Gottman Method who would be happy to incorporate this into your treatment plan.

As you read through the issues of why spouses come to marriage counseling, did you recognize anything? Maybe you did. You are not alone. Maybe you did not. You are not alone. Deciding to start marriage therapy is a personal journey. If you are ready, so are the marriage counselors at Thriveworks Newport News. When you contact our office, a real person will answer your call and help you make an appointment. We do not have waitlists or voicemail. Instead, new clients often meet with their counselor within 24 hours of their call. Let’s get started. Call Thriveworks Newport News Counseling today.

Thriveworks Counseling NewportNews

People Love Our Providers!

Overall Rating: 5★★★★★ based on 6 5 1 6 reviews. See all reviews
Thriveworks Counseling NewportNews

Comfortable relief

My therapist Pe'atra was easy to open up to. She was understanding and knowledgeable about what I was feeling and gave me great guidance in solutions. I was feeling overwhelmed and I needed to free the clutter in my head and she helped me get clarity. I have attainable goals to move forward. I would definitely recommend Pe'atra to friends and family, she is very intelligent, warm spirited and easy to talk to.
Thriveworks Counseling NewportNews

Maria Kokolis, LPC

Maria is a phenomenal clinician with years of experience in the counseling field. She conscientiously works with each patient to meet them where they are on their mental health journey and adjust their needs accordingly. Her attention to deal surpasses all and she gets positive results for her patients!
Thriveworks Counseling NewportNews

Good assistance

Ms Green provided exceptional discussion and instruction to resolve what seemed to be difficult and complex by making it simple and understandable and applicable to everyday life. Nice work Ms Green truly appreciate all your help.
Thriveworks Counseling NewportNews

Child Counseling Services

My son has met with Mrs. Kimberly Green for about 4 sessions thus far. At first I wasn’t sure if counseling would be something my 10 year old would be open to or beneficial. Mrs. Green took her time to truly understand what my concerns were and what my son needed from counseling. Her approach was very compassionate and warm. Although my son was not open to the idea of counseling every session she somehow gets him to open up more and more. Every session we do a recap to ensure all needs were met and outline whatever discussions that will continue next session. If you are looking for a great children therapist look no further than Mrs. Kimberly Green.
Thriveworks Counseling NewportNews

Good Choice

Alise cares about people and is passionate about counseling. She’s a good choice for a counselor.
Thriveworks Counseling NewportNews

My therapist rocks!

Working with Alise has been awesome. She takes the time to listen to the full story and validate my experiences so I can recognize how I feel is normal even if my experiences are not normal. She is kind, doesn’t judge me and very supportive. Like the subject line says I truly enjoy working with her; she has helped me so much.
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Thriveworks Counseling

Schedule your first appointment with a Thriveworks Counselor or Life Coach!

  • 8 San Jose Dr suite 3e,
    Newport News, VA 23606

  • Mon-Fri:7AM-9:30PM

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