Marriage counseling works by helping couples identify and better navigate their unique challenges. Following an initial assessment of the couple in terms of strengths and needs, the therapist would then discuss their therapeutic goals and any possible approaches or ways of working together as therapist and couple.
Couples attend sessions together, whether they meet in person or by video. In addition to regular marriage counseling sessions, each partner may also be asked to attend a few individual sessions to supplement their progress. This will allow their counselor to get to know each individual better, assess each of their personal needs, and develop the very best treatment plan moving forward.
On average, couples attend marriage counseling for 12 weeks. However, marriage counseling may last longer or shorter, dependent on the couples’ needs, the challenges they’d like to work through, and the pace of their progress. Marriage counselors and therapists at Thriveworks in Newport News, VA work with their clients to create goals, decide on ideal timelines, and establish treatment plans.
Therapists in Newport News, VA—Marriage Counseling
All spouses experience difficulty, and when those hard times come, the marriage therapists and psychologists at Thriveworks Newport News are ready to help. It is normal to struggle. It is also normal to reach out. Marriage therapy has helped many spouses establish a healthier relationship, regardless of what form they choose for that relationship to take. If you think you could benefit from working with a marriage counselor, reach out to Thriveworks Newport News for help.
Should We Go to Marriage Therapy?
When spouses are struggling, they are often desperate for any kind of change. They may wonder if marriage therapy will help and if their struggle is the type of thing other couples go to marriage therapy for. Marriage therapy is not a magic potion that quickly restores marital bliss. Working toward a healthy marriage takes effort and time. As Barbara De Angelis says, marriage is a verb. Here are a few of the reasons other couples have come to marriage therapy to work on their relationship…
1) One or both spouses have had an affair.
Adultery is often a point of crisis for a marriage. It may signal the end of the relationship. It may spur each spouse to make needed changes. It is the spouse’s decision, but in either case, they have many difficulties to navigate. Marriage therapists often help spouses navigate the challenges moving forward, whatever future they are moving toward.
2) You are trying to change your spouse, or your spouse is trying to change you.
An important principle for healthy relationships is that people cannot change others—each individual is responsible for their own personal growth. This principle is particularly important in a marriage. When spouses are trying to change each other, there may be real areas that each spouse need to address and change. However, trying to change someone else is not the path to take. This rarely produces healthy, long-lasting change. Instead, it often introduces shame, disappointment, and frustration into the relationship. Marriage counseling can often teach spouses how to take responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings, choices, and growth.
3) Tension or apathy are stunting the relationship.
Certain problems can leave spouses stuck. Sometimes, being stuck looks like fire. Sometimes, it looks like ice. Sometimes, spouses fight all the time but never resolve the issue. Sometimes, spouses use apathy as a weapon and ignore each other as well as the problem. In either case, the marriage is in trouble. When tensions run high or when apathy runs high, it may be time to go to marriage counseling. Therapists often help spouses identify the underlying issue and learn conflict resolution skills.
How Can Marriage Therapy Help?
There are several ways that marriage therapy may benefit spouses who are struggling. Counselors and psychologists often help spouses…
- Pinpoint unhelpful patterns of behavior. It can be difficult for spouses within the marriage to see the patterns that play out and undermine their intimacy. Marriage therapists, however, often see these patterns clearly and help their clients see them too. Once they are pinpointed, these unhealthy patterns can be changed.
- Learn relational skills. Marriage takes hard work, but it also takes interpersonal and conflict resolution skills. Sometimes, spouses need to work smarter instead of harder, but they have never learned how. Marriage therapists often teach their clients these important relational skills.
- Set a timeline for change. Certain ways of relating are more problematic than others. When safety is a concern, changes need to be made as soon as possible. Other adjustments take time. Marriage counselors can often set a reasonable pace for change.
- Better manage present issues and prepare for future conflicts. This is a staple of a little something called the Gottman Method. The Gottman Method is an approach to marriage counseling and couples therapy that has a foolproof plan for helping couples improve their overall relationship. We have marriage counselors who have Level 1 Training in Gottman Method who would be happy to incorporate this into your treatment plan.
Scheduling Marriage Therapy at Thriveworks Newport News
Deciding to start marriage therapy is a personal journey. If you are ready, so are the marriage counselors at Thriveworks Newport News. When you contact our office, a real person will answer your call and help you make an appointment. New clients often meet with their counselor within the same week of their call. Let’s get started. Call Thriveworks Newport News Counseling today.
