Endings are painful. Even the necessary ones can bring stress and difficulties. But even though ends aren’t always comfortable or fun, they can also lead to better things.
Of course, hearing that doesn’t make it any easier in the moment. A divorce is one of those complicated endings that are the start of something new while the closing chapter on something old. They can be both good and bad and are always a whirlwind of emotions and logistical issues. The decisions you have to make while in the midst of emotional turmoil can feel overwhelming, and rightfully so!
A divorce is particularly painful because it can feel like you’re going through it alone. Thriveworks Dover wants you to know that you don’t have to! We can be that steady hand walking beside you until this storm calms.
What is Divorce Counseling?
Divorce counseling is a very broad term that encompasses many experiences. Every divorce is different, and so are people’s reactions to it. Therefore, the focus of Thriveworks Dover is on your goals. (But don’t stress, we can help you figure out what exactly they are!)
Through our years of professional counseling, we’ve found three “stages” of divorce recovery work best. First, the personal and emotional battles you may be fighting can be exhausting. Here you are, with a to-do list spanning pages long and decisions that give you a headache just thinking about, and you’re fighting for your mental health. Things like depression, anxiety, grief, anger, or insomnia are all normal reactions to something as jarring as a divorce. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these responses. You’re losing something that you might once have treasured, and there are many memories and feelings attached to that. Our Dover counselors understand every day will bring a new load of confusing emotions and questions. None of it is too big or too small for us, or for you!
Secondly, many people just need a liaison between you and your partner as the logistics of a divorce is sorted out. Our counselors can offer that cool, calm presence that works through any bumps before they can explode into something bigger. We can also help you both work on communication skills, for now and for the future.
Finally, the aftermath of the divorce can bring a new host of challenges. Most likely, a divorce changed your daily routine, social groups, financial budget, and so much more! This shift continues long after the official documents are signed. You deserve to be successful and happy in this new life, and our Thriveworks Dover counselors are more than happy to help you build it in the image you always imagined.
Is Divorce Counseling for me?
Not everyone needs divorce counseling. Different circumstances, past experiences, and current mental health state may help them adjust easier. But that doesn’t mean it’s “weak” to reach out for help! Just because someone else did, doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Afterall, you deserve the best mental and physical health.
A good way to determine if you should give Thriveworks Dover a call is to look at your life before the divorce and look at it now. It will be different of course, and maybe not in all good ways.
But has there been negative change in areas of your life that shouldn’t have been impacted very much? For example, a divorce might have taken too big of a toll if:
- You feel like you’re drowning under all the pressure, stress, or high emotions
- You have less pleasure in activities you once enjoyed
- Sleep patterns have changed
- You’re experiencing unusually high levels of anger, depression, or anxiety
- Suicidal thoughts have come up
- Withdrawal from social events and contact with friends/family has happened frequently
- Eating habits have changed (loss of appetite or uncontrollable eating)
- There’s an inability or impairment of ability to perform basic or essential tasks
- The divorce process is “stuck”, or there’s an inability to effectively communicate with your partner.
This list is far from exhaustive, and if you have any concerns at all, it’s always worth giving Dover Thriveworks a call. We can talk you through the counseling process and if it’s right for you.
What About the Kids?
Having a child when going through a divorce can add many stressors. Their wellbeing is probably your foremost concern. And although there are a lot of negative stereotypes around children growing up in two homes, research has proven that in many situations, two good homes are better than one bad home. Yes, divorce will probably be difficult for them. But they can still thrive, maybe more so than before.
Thriveworks Dover is happy to see your children if you have concerns. It is a confusing time, and our counselors will offer a nonjudgmental space where they can process their emotions and ask the difficult questions. Feelings of hurt, abandonment, and guilt are common, but they don’t have to last. These emotions are of course not your intent as a parent, and your relationship with your child will always be one of our priorities.
Divorces are time-consuming for parents, and too often they cannot provide the love and attention children deserve when going through something like a divorce. This is where Thriveworks Dover can step in and provide a little extra support. A loving, healthy relationship with your child after a divorce is more than possible.
What About Co-Parenting?
If you do have kids, co-parenting is probably on your mind. Is there anyway to prepare for this? Or learn it while you are in the midst of it? Yes! It is not easy learning a new style of parenting, especially after relationships may have been strained by the divorce. But Thriveworks Dover will work with both parents to ensure the best parenting outcome.
You are not a bad parent for needing some extra guidance with co-parenting. Most people do! We can be that liaison between parents, answer any questions, and teach you some vital skills along the way. Your role as a parent is just as important now as it was before a divorce, so let’s make sure your relationship with your children is just as strong.
Divorces will always be hard, there is no way to avoid that. But they aren’t impossible. With a little guidance and support from Thriveworks Dover, you and your family can thrive.
