On average, couples attend marriage counseling for 12 weeks. However, marriage counseling may last longer or shorter, dependent on the couples' needs, the challenges they'd like to work through, and the pace of their progress. Marriage counselors and therapists at Thriveworks in Winston-Salem, NC work with their clients to create goals, decide on ideal timelines, and establish treatment plans.
Something in the marriage is different. You’ve noticed it over the past few months, but it may have started sooner. You are having a hard time saying what “it” even is. Maybe it is the constant fighting Maybe it is the anger that rises more easily. Maybe it is the coldness you feel toward your spouse and from your spouse. What has changed? How can this marriage get back to where it was? Or how can they move forward if that is what needs to happen? Being married often is idealized in movies, but the reality is that marriage is hard. That is why so many wedding vows include a promise to love “for better or worse, in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health.” The reality is that many spouses reach out for help during those times of poverty, sickness, and difficulty. It is okay to struggle. It is ok to get help. Marriage therapy has helped many spouses address the problems in their relationship and move forward toward a better future.
“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”
—Barbara De Angelis
Many first marriages end in divorce—40 percent, and the rates rise for second and third marriages. Many other spouses choose to stay in the marriage and work through the difficulties. There is no right or wrong choices. Only those within the marriage can decide. However, there help and support for the journey. Marriage therapy has provided the support many spouses need to establish a better relationship with their spouses—regardless of what that relationship looks like.
The marriage therapists at Thriveworks Counseling in Winston-Salem know that it can be hard to work at your marriage. We have worked with many couples, and we have helped them work toward a better relationship.
Should We Go to Marriage Counseling?
When spouses are having a hard time connecting, they may wonder if now is the time to reach out for help. There is no right or wrong time to start therapy. Different couples will choose to start therapy at different times. A few of the reasons some spouses have started marriage therapy include…
1) One or both spouses have cheated: Affairs can destroy a marriage. They introduce pain and distrust. They are a crisis point for many marriages. Some spouses choose to continue with the marriages. Others know they want out. Many do not know what they want. Marriage therapy is a great place to explore options with the guidance of a relational expert. If spouses want to continue in the marriage, a skilled counselor can often guide that process. If spouses want a divorce, a skilled counselor may also guide that process.
2) One spouse wants to change the other: One foundational principle of mental health is that people cannot change others—they can only change themselves. This is particularly true when it comes to spouses. When one spouse is trying to change the other, they will not succeed. Instead, they often introduce disappointment, frustration, and shame into the relationship. A better way is for each spouse to take full responsibility for their own personal growth. Marriage counselors often teach spouses how to set these vital boundaries.
3) These is too much tension in the relationship or there is no tension in the relationship: All couples disagree and argue. Tension in the relationship can be a sign of a relationship’s health when it is in the right proportion. Sometimes, relational experts talk about the golden ratio—happy couples often have five positive interactions for every negative one. Both are important. Couples should feel the freedom to disagree. They should also have the skills to address the issue, resolve it, and move forward so that they are not arguing all the time. Many times, spouses learn these skills in marriage therapy.
Scheduling an Appointment at Thriveworks Winston-Salem for Marriage Therapy
If you or your spouse are considering going to marriage therapy, know that Thriveworks Winston-Salem has available appointments. Marriage counseling is not a quick fix for relational problems, but there are ways it may tangibly help. A few of the ways marriage therapy may help include…
- Pinpointing toxic behaviors. As insiders in the relationship, it can be difficult for spouses to see if they are relating to each other in unhealthy ways. Toxic behaviors can destroy a relationship without either spouse understanding what is happening. Marriage therapy often helps spouses raise their awareness of the unhealthy ways they are interacting.
- De-escalating the hostility. When spouses attack each other instead of the problem, the hostility can overwhelm them. The tension needs to be brought down to neutral so that problems can be solved. Marriage therapists can often teach spouses healthy conflict resolution skills.
- Prioritizing change. Making some adjustments will help couples more than others. Some changes take time while others need to happen now. Marriage therapy often helps spouses prioritize which changes to make and when.
Are you ready to meet with a marriage therapist? Thriveworks Counseling in Winston-Salem is ready. When you call our office, you may have your first appointment within 24 hours. We offer evening and weekend sessions, and we accept many forms of insurance. However, we never put our clients on a waitlist. We know that working at your marriage is difficult. Scheduling counseling should not be. Call today.