Counseling for Infidelity — Therapists in Pflugerville, TX
Stories about adultery are everywhere, it seems… the politician caught in bed with the intern… the actor who slept with another actor on set… the athlete who gets around. And the public scoops up magazines and fuels clickbait that promise to give the juicy details. Affairs can mesmerize people’s attention.
However, when infidelity happens within your marriage, it is rarely glamorous. No, infidelity is usually a painful and traumatizing time.
Cheating has ended long-time and newly minted marriages. But some relationships survive infidelity. What is the right way? Only the couple can make that choice about their future, but they can find support as they make that and many other difficult choices in the aftermath of an affair.
The counselors at Thriveworks Pflugerville, TX know that infidelity is not salacious clickbait fuel–they have guided many couples trauma of infidelity as they work toward a healthier relationship, whether that means separating or reconciling.
The Pain of Infidelity
Adultery. Infidelity. Cheating. An affair. People use many words to describe the same concept: someone in a committed relationship broke the expectations of that relationship. Those expectations could be agreed-upon standards of an exclusive and long-term relationship. The expectations could also be marriage vows. In either situation, the effects of betrayal are almost always deeply painful.
A big reason infidelity is so painful is that the betrayal happens within a relationship that should be the most safe and the most loving in a person’s life. Affairs almost always involve lies, secrets, and broken trust within a relationship that should be filled with honesty, vulnerability, and connection. Infidelity turns people’s world upside down.
Because an affair is a betrayal of a relationship, it always affects other people. The couple’s friends, extended family, and (sometimes) community can all experience the pain of betrayal after infidelity.
In most cases, the children and the uninvolved spouse experience the most harm.
- The Uninvolved Spouse: Many spouses who are betrayed experience trauma as a result. They may even display post traumatic stress symptoms that are similar to combat veterans: increased anxiety, flashbacks, vivid dreams, physical pain, and more. When a spouse cheats, the uninvolved spouse may feel as if their whole life is now tainted with deception and lies.
- The Children: When a couple has children and one partner commits adultery, the children feel the effects of betrayal whether they are old enough to know about the affair or not. Children are very perceptive. They know when their safety is disrupted, and infidelity disrupts their world. Children often internalize the disruption and blame themselves, and their future relationships can be affected.
Every couple is unique, and it is hard to quantify such personal pain. But the aftermath of infidelity is severe. Betrayal within an intimate and personal relationship causes deep wounds, and therefore, infidelity recovery requires extensive treatment.
Recovering from Infidelity
There is no silver bullet or quick fix for recovering from infidelity. The spouse who had the affair may apologize, and that is a good step. However, it is only one step on a long journey. “I’m sorry,” does not magically restore what was lost in betrayal.
Whether a couple pursues separation or reconciliation, forgiveness may be possible. Trust may even be possible. But how? A skilled therapist can lead couples through the long journey of infidelity recovery.
Counseling may help couples find healing through
- Clarifying Relational Goals – Some couples know they want to reconcile. Others know they want to divorce. Many have no idea what they want. Others change their minds along the way. That is all normal and okay. A skilled therapist can help bring clarity to the chaos of an affair. Counselors may help the couple assess the health of their relationship and set reasonable and specific goals.
- Enhancing Communication – Understandably, communicating after an affair may look like hot anger or cold silence. However, neither of these are helpful for either spouse. Counseling can provide a safe space for the couple to rebuild healthy channels of communication.
- Rebuilding Trust – Even if a couple divorces, they may still need to be in each other’s lives to some degree, especially if children are involved. Therapists can guide a couple toward the right boundaries and forms of accountability that may, over time, rebuild the level of trust their relationship needs.
Infidelity Counseling through Thriveworks Pflugerville, TX
The counselors at Thriveworks Pflugerville, TX understand the chaos infidelity brings to a couple and their family. The aftermath of an affair can be utterly confusing, so scheduling an appointment for counseling should not be.
Here is what we have done to make the process of asking for help as easy as possible. When you call Thriveworks Pflugerville…
- A scheduling specialist (that is, a real person) will answer and be able to schedule your appointment.
- We often see first-time clients within 24 hours.
- You will never be put on a waitlist.
- Weekend and evening appointments are available.
- We accept many insurance plans.
Ready to get started? So are we. Call today.