Marriage counseling works by helping couples identify and better navigate their unique challenges. Following an initial assessment of the couple in terms of strengths and needs, the therapist would then discuss their therapeutic goals and any possible approaches or ways of working together as therapist and couple.
Couples attend sessions together, whether they meet in person or by video. In addition to regular marriage counseling sessions, each partner may also be asked to attend a few individual sessions to supplement their progress. This will allow their counselor to get to know each individual better, assess each of their personal needs, and develop the very best treatment plan moving forward.
On average, couples attend marriage counseling for 12 weeks. However, marriage counseling may last longer or shorter, dependent on the couples' needs, the challenges they'd like to work through, and the pace of their progress. Marriage counselors and therapists at Thriveworks in Jacksonville, FL work with their clients to create goals, decide on ideal timelines, and establish treatment plans.
You’ve Got Mail, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Sleepless in Seattle, Love Actually, Enough Said, Hitch, and 27 Dresses are just a few of the most popular romantic comedies of all time. With these movies, and with most rom-coms, marriage is the highlight of the couple’s relationship. Often, these couples have overcome unimaginable obstacles to find each other, and now that they are together, they get to enjoy wedded bliss forever. If only real-life marriages worked that way!
Many spouses know that the reality of being in a marriage is different. Marriage is not the pinnacle of the relationship—in many ways, it is just the beginning of working through challenges and differences. That is one of the many reasons most wedding vows include a promise to love “in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health.” All marriages have times of bad and sickness. Challenge is normal and so is reaching out for help. Many spouses are making the decision to go to marriage counseling so that a relationship expert can help them navigate difficulties and find a path forward.
“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” – Dave Meurer
The marriage counselors and psychologists at Thriveworks Jacksonville understand the challenges that most marriages face. We have worked with many imperfect couples who are learning to love each other better. If you are interested in working with a marriage counselor, reach out to Thriveworks Jacksonville today. We’ll set you up with a skilled, caring provider who can prove valuable to your relationship.
When Should We Start Marriage Counseling?
When a marriage inevitably runs into difficulty, each spouse often wonders whether marriage counseling may be a good idea. They may wonder, “Is this the type of issue people to go marriage counseling for?” The decision to start counseling is a personal decision, and there is no wrong or right reason to begin. Couples go to marriage counseling for many, many reasons. A few of the reasons spouses have reach out to Thriveworks Jacksonville include…
- On-going challenges are getting worse.
Because no marriage is perfect and no spouse is perfect, each partner will annoy the other at some point. There will be on-going issues. Some of these will be little. Others will be big. When they are addressed directly and with respect, spouses can grow closer together. When partners use empathy and humility, the issues can often be resolved, and the marriage can often be strengthened. However, when spouses attack each other instead of these issues, the problems within the marriage can escalate quickly. What may start as a reasonable conflict can quickly grow and feel overwhelming and threaten the marriage. Marriage therapists often teach spouses healthy conflict resolution skills so that these problems do not escalate.
- The relationship is filled with tension.
Marriage therapists often talk about the golden ratio. That is, healthy couples often have five positive interactions (or more) for every negative interaction. This 5:1 ratio acknowledges the reality that most spouses feel instinctively: even one negative interaction has a lot of destructive power. When this ratio is off, something in the marriage may be off too. To restore healthier connection, many couples work with a marriage therapist to identify what may be causing the tension within their relationship. The underlying cause could be any number of things. A spouse may have lied, made a thoughtless choice, or even committed adultery. Whatever the cause may be, it needs to be acknowledged and addressed for the tension to ease.
- One or both spouses are ready to give up.
Sometimes, spouses feel the frustration and the rage of conflict. Sometimes, they feel nothing about the conflict. Ice can cause just as much harm as fire. When spouses feel nothing—not even negative emotions—they may be shutting down and giving up. It may be time for outside help and marriage counseling. When one or both spouses are apathetic, they may have stopped feeling and communicating and connecting. Marriage counselors can often work with them to restart healthy interactions.
- Spouses are living separate lives.
Life is busy for everyone. Calendars become crowded all too easily, but healthy spouses always find time. They may have their own interests and hobbies and friends, but they find their way back to each other. At times, spouses can be living parallel lives that never connect. At other times, spouses can be going in completely opposite directions. In either case, they are living separate lives, and their marriage may be in trouble. Spouses often struggle to connect emotionally, physically, and spiritually. A marriage therapist can often work with spouses to build up their marriage’s intimacy and help them prioritize connection.
Regardless of what you have going on, our marriage counselors can help you with a specialized approach to treatment. One common and effective approach is the Gottman Method. This is focused on helping couples 1) understand individual needs, hopes, dreams, etc., 2) cultivate greater appreciation and admiration for each other, 3) resolve current conflicts, and 4) improve overall conflict resolution skills. If this sounds like something you’d like to try, just let us know. We have several counselors with Level 1 Training in this method and they’d be happy to work it into your treatment.
Scheduling a Marriage Counseling Appointment at Thriveworks Jacksonville
What is happening with your marriage right now? Are you and your spouse considering going to marriage counseling? The very fact that you are considering reaching out for help may be an indicator that marriage counseling could be the right next step for you.
If you are ready to get started, we are ready to help. The therapists at Thriveworks Jacksonville offer marriage counseling, and we have appointments available. When you contact our office, a real person will answer your call and help you make an appointment. We offer evening and weekend sessions and we also accept many different insurance plans. Call Thriveworks Jacksonville today.
