When a couple walks down the aisle to say, “I do,” they expect to live happily ever after. They expect months and years and decades of bliss. No one thinks they will be walking out of their lawyer’s office a few months or years or decades later, signing divorce papers. But expectations do not always pan out, and life changes. Many marriages end in divorce—as many as 40 percent of first marriages and 60 percent of second marriages.
Divorce blocks one road forward. It means that people have to contend with many new paths—some more difficult than others. In particular, there are new practical realities to navigate: legal decisions, custody battles, financial strain, and living accommodations. There are also new emotional realities to process: loneliness, confusion, guilt, anger, fear, anxiety, or depression.
Many people feel like divorce is the end, and it is the end of a marriage; however, it does not have to be the end of happiness and fulfillment. New beginnings are possible, and new roads can be forged. Many people have used divorce counseling to help heal from divorce and set themselves up for future success. Divorce counselors provide guidance and support through this difficult time.
No one has to walk the road of divorce recovery alone. Thriveworks Divorce Counseling in Columbia offers counseling and therapy for recovering from a divorce. Our professionals have helped many clients forge new paths toward happiness. (803) 477-3736
What Leads to Divorce?
An infinite number of scenarios can end a marriage—addiction, irresponsible decisions, abuse, lying, poor communication, infidelity, sudden loss, financial strain, health problems, in-laws, and more, and more. But some couples recover from infidelity but others do not. Many couples weather financial strain, but many buckle under the pressure. What is the difference? Just below the surface of these problems, often toxic behavior is the real cause of the division within a marriage.
Dr. John Gottman conducted a famous study on marriage. He identifies four factors that, if left unaddressed, often lead a couple to divorce:
- Contempt: Disrespect and superiority kill intimacy.
- Defensiveness: Blame instead of responsibility drives people apart.
- Criticism: Attacking the person instead of the issue takes its toll.
- Stonewalling: When problems are denied, minimized, or avoided, they grow.
These behaviors can cause serious personal harm. If any one of these factors was a part of your marriage, then you may need time to heal after your divorce.
What Is Divorce Recovery?
Recovering from a divorce is a process that is unique and personal. Many things can affect how long it takes for a person to heal. Some factors in recovery may be…
- If the divorce surprised a partner
- How long the marriage had been established
- Why the divorce occurred
- The status of the couple’s finances
- One’s personality, age, mental and/or physical health
- Whether the pair has kids, how many, and their ages
- If new romantic relationships have been established
Each person’s needs are unique, and a skilled counselor can form an individualized treatment plan based upon what each client needs. Among other things, treatment plans for divorce recovery almost always involve processing the past and grief therapy.
1) Processing the Past:
One of the most difficult, but beneficial, aspects of recovering from a divorce is looking back at what may have gone wrong. The purpose is not to blame but to learn. When people understand, not just that something went wrong, but what exactly happened, they are empowered as form future relationships. Without learning from the past, people may fall into old patterns.
2) Grief Therapy:
Of course, a divorce means the end of a marriage, but other losses are incurred as well. When a couple has children together, divorce means their relationships with their children change as everyone transitions to co-parenting or single parenting. Other relationships change as well: in-laws, friends, and extended family. Many people lose their homes and their standards of living during a divorce.
Each of these must be acknowledged and grieved. When people experience grief, they often experience many varying emotions: denial, shock, bargaining, sadness, guilt, anger, and fear. They may feel several of these emotions at the same time or bounce quickly back and forth between them.
Counseling after a Divorce at Thriveworks Columbia, SC
Forging new paths after divorce closes is a challenge. Many people know that making mistakes and trying again is part of the process, and many people have also made mental health counseling a part of their process. Skilled divorce therapists and counselors can offer guidance on how to navigate the hazards of divorce and find healing.
Are you ready for help and support as you heal from your divorce? Thriveworks Divorce Counseling in Columbia, SC has divorce recovery appointments available. We offer appointments with a divorce recovery therapist, often within 24 hours of your call. We accept most insurance plans, and evening and weekend sessions are available.
Call Thriveworks Divorce Recovery in Columbia, SC today. (803) 477-3736