Our therapists offer divorce counseling in Bastrop, TX

When a new couple dances down the aisle after saying their marriage vows, they almost never expect to walk out of divorce court months, years, or decades later. No, they expect to dance their way toward their happily ever after, but not every couples finds happiness together. Not all marriages were meant to last, and the truth is that many marriages end in divorce.

“And I’ll sign on
The line beneath my name
The road is gone
I can’t go back the way we came.”
—The Avett Brothers, “Divorce Separation Blues”

Divorce closes a path forward for one relationship. There are many losses to grieve and new realities to navigate. Just practically, decisions need to be made about living situations, custody of children, finances, and legal proceedings. Emotionally, people face loneliness, anger, confusion, guilt, anxiety, fear, and more.

It may feel like divorce is the end, but there are many roads forward, toward happiness and wholeness. New beginnings can come from closed paths. Forging a new path is not easy. Struggling is normal. Falling down is okay. Asking for help is a necessity. But many people are glad they chose the hard road of divorce recovery.

No one has to forge a new path alone. Certainly, friends and family can offer support, but often people need the guidance of a therapist. That is why Thriveworks Bastrop offers divorce recovery counseling: we love seeing clients process their pain and rebuild a happy future.

Ending a Marriage

The particular circumstances of why couples end their marriages are endless, but just below the surface lies a recognizable pattern. For decades, psychologist John Gottman and his team studied divorce, and they identified four reasons most marriages end. These four dynamics can manifest themselves within a marriage in any number of ways, but they are the fuel for tension, disconnection, and ultimately, divorce:

• Criticism: Negativity can suffocate a marriage, especially when nit-picking and shaming outweigh love and caring.
• Defensiveness: Blaming, shifting responsibility, and other forms of defensiveness kill intimacy.
• Stonewalling: Problems quickly become overwhelming when they are not addressed. Denying, avoiding, and minimizing do not belong in healthy relationships.
• Contempt: Disrespect is almost always present within a marriage that ends in divorce.

When one or more of these are present and the marriages ends, each partner is often left with relational wounds that need care. Divorce recovery is an intentional time of healing past wounds and preparing for a bright future.

Divorce Recovery: What Does Healing Look Like?

Healing from the loss of a marriage is often a unique and intensely individualized process. Factors that will affect recovery may include:

• The status of the couple’s finances.
• Why the couple pursued a divorce.
• One’s personality, age, mental and/or physical health.
• How long the couple was a couple.
• If/how many children the couple had and their ages.
• Whether the divorce was a surprise.
• If one or both partners have established new romantic relationships.

The counselors at Thriveworks Bastrop formulate an individualized treatment plan for each client that addresses specific needs and hurts. Inevitably, treatment plans for divorce at least include grieving and processing.

1) Grief Therapy:

Many losses accompany a divorce. Of course, the marriage itself, but that is the tip of a big iceberg. A handful of the losses may include one’s home, standard of living, relationships with in-laws/extended family/friends, adjusting to joint parenting or single parenting, and the list could continue.

Grief is often a complex and bizarre emotion. People may ricochet between shock, denial, sadness, guilt, bargaining, fear, and anger. These feelings are important, and allow people valuable insight into the emotional wounds they have sustained so that they can heal.

2) Processing the Past:

This may be the hardest part of recovery, but sometimes, moving forward means looking back. When people understand their previous marriage, what went wrong and why, then they often can adjust. Their future selves and their future relationships benefit. They may avoid repeating old patterns or becoming stuck in a similar situation. Change can be hard, but learning from the past is key.

Scheduling Counseling for Divorce Recovery at Thriveworks Bastrop

There is no easy formula or quick fix that makes divorce recovery painless. It is okay to fall down, and often people learn just how strong they are as they get back up. Mistakes are part of the process, and so is asking for help. An experienced counselor who is familiar with the pitfalls of divorce recovery can be an invaluable guide on the journey.

If you are going through a divorce or if you have just finalized one, know that you are not alone. Thriveworks Bastrop as appointments available for divorce recovery. Our counselors understand the pain and grief, and we have helped many clients find healing and new life.

Going through a divorce is hard; scheduling therapy should not add to the difficult. When you call our office, a person will answer your call and help schedule an appointment. We offer evening and weekend appointments. New clients often have their first counseling session the day after their first call. We also accept many forms of insurance.

Let’s get started. Call Thriveworks Bastrop today.