Before you get married, you’re both excited about the idea of til-death-do-us-part. They call it the “honeymoon phase,” where you’re completely crazy about each other and spend as much time one-on-one as you possibly can. It’s wonderful.
At some point, you start to spend more and more time apart. You get on each others’ nerves. You nitpick. You argue. You shout and slam doors. You spend a night (or several) on the couch. You resent one another. The person you once loved more than any other human being in the world has become the person you least want to be around.
How does this happen?
Relationships are hardly ever easy. It’s two completely different egos competing existing in the same space. Two lives stitching into one. You wash the dishes a certain way, and your partner is a little slower to get to it. One of you loves television, and the other wants to spend more time outdoors. Even deciding where you want to share a meal together can sometimes be an all-out debate. And that’s just the little things.
The truth is that many couples enter into marriage without ever having taken the time to seek the necessary skills to make such a commitment truly work. When you do anything new and important in your life (e.g. studying for a career, preparing for a race), you seek training and knowledge. When it comes to marriage, one of the most significant relationships in your life, why would you not take the same approach?
If you’re marriage has become something other than a rewarding, loving partnership, then it’s time you stop pretending everything will fix itself. It never does. Marriages require hard work, commitment, active communication, honesty, and so much more than warm and happy feelings.
Thriveworks Bastrop Marriage Counseling is here to equip you with relationship-saving knowledge. We’ve worked with couples of all kinds and with a range of issues — even those who simply want to make their already great marriage better than ever.
For What Reasons do Couples Seek Marriage Counseling
You once were thrilled at the idea of spending the rest of your life with this person, but now just getting through the day without irritating each other seems an impossibility. In big and small issues, you serve as each other’s combatant rather than each other’s teammate.
Or, perhaps things are not so actively bad. You simply just don’t speak to one another any more. You don’t identify with the person on the other side of the bed as your other half, simply “other.” Perhaps you’re numb to it at this point. Perhaps you’re distraught.
In any case, things just aren’t as great as you’d like, and you want that to change.
Unhappiness in a marriage can come from many places. Some common sources include:
- Financial hardship
- Health concerns
- Intimacy and commitment issues
- Family drama
- Loss of income
- Moving to a new city
- Having your first child
- Psychological concerns
- Substance abuse
Divorce is becoming all to common place. For some people it’s the way out of a legitimately awful situation, and in others it’s an expensive way of not dealing with your problems and simply carrying them with you to your next relationship.
Marital Problems can Often be Solved
Regardless of how long you two have been arguing or somehow distancing yourselves from one another — recognize that there is a problem, and then decide that fixing an issue is so much less painful than letting it fester and grow. Do you want things to stay the way they are (if not worsen), or do you want your relationship to continually become more and more satisfying?
Being honest with yourselves about the fact that you need outside help to resolve your issues is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of good judgement. It’s a sign that you still love one another and want a more fulfilling life together.
Contact us today if you want to improve your relationship. Our counselors are highly qualified professionals who have helped many couples overcome their marital problems.
Let’s create new opportunities for you two to enjoy each other.