We’ve all heard that statistic that 50% of first marriages end in divorce. Well, that statistic is accurate, and sadly has remained unchanged for the past 30 years. Sometimes divorce is the best option, although this is a decision that is best made after a couple has had counseling. Sometimes a couple may decide to commit to saving their marriage. Whether to divorce or restore a marriage is a deeply personal decision, and usually is not easy.
If you feel your marriage is in trouble, and you’re committed to, or considering saving your marriage, there are a number areas to evaluate. No matter what, the following issues certainly are indicators that it IS time for your marriage to be tended to, and here at Thriveworks Blacksburg Marriage Counseling, we have several amazing marriage counselors with experience and expertise in this area.
Our therapists are non-judgmental, understanding, and supportive. They can guide a married couple through the deep and troubling waters of doubt, distrust, hurt, anger, resentment, and other issues or feelings that may be harming your marriage.
Do any of these apply to your marriage relationship right now?
1) The two of you are simply sharing the same space instead of sharing your lives.
The skilled clinicians of Thriveworks Blacksburg Marriage Counseling can help you begin to function like a married couple, not just roommates. No, you don’t have to do everything together, but if there is poor or non-existent communication, conversation and intimacy, you may want to consider marriage counseling to help sort things out.
2) Your communication has become mostly negative, irritated, unpleasant.
Negative communication is anything that leads to hurt feelings, including nonverbal communication, such as the tone of any conversation. Negative communication can be verbal or non-verbal.
3) You need help with conflict resolution.
Every relationship has its issues that trigger arguments, some of which may continue unresolved for months with no hope in sight. Finances, your sex life, children, jobs – sometimes it seems like any or all of these challenges make having a good marriage impossible. Thriveworks Blacksburg Marriage Therapists can help if both or you are committed to understanding the other’s point of view and are willing to find some common ground.
4) You feel like everything would be OK if only the other would just change.
The only person YOU can change is yourself, so if you’re waiting for your partner to change is a waste of time and energy. Your therapist can help each of you understand who you are, what you want, and why. You’ll learn better tools for relating to each other, managing expectations, developing tolerance/acceptance and more.
5) One or both partners has had an affair, or considered having an affair.
Recovering from an affair is not impossible, but it takes time and a lot of work. There needs to be commitment, remorse, forgiveness and a shared desire to move forward. Both partners need to be committed to the process or marriage counseling. Honesty, transparency, and willingness to listen and learn should ideally be present in BOTH members of the marriage.
6) One of you has begun to act out on negative feelings.
Maybe you feel you’ve been hurt – undeservedly, unfairly, and deeply. So now you find that you want your partner to hurt as much as YOU hurt. You want the to experience that same emotional pain. So you use emotions, behaviors, words, and obvious or not so obvious to inflict pain.
7) You’re only staying together for the sake of the children.
You may think that you’re doing the right thing by staying together, when actually this may have a detrimental effect on your kids. Certainly, if you both are resolved to addressing the issues in your marriage, and build a positive, healthy relationship, this may be the best decision for all involved.
But your children shouldn’t be the deciding factor when deciding whether to stay together. If your marriage is falling apart, or your relationship is even non-existent, don’t think your kids don’t know it. Not every marriage can or should be saved. But for those that can be salvaged, and for those couples willing to commit to the process, our expert marriage counselors at Thriveworks Blacksburg are here to guide, support, teach, and walk beside you through the difficult process of rebuilding or strengthening your marriage!
If you can relate to any of these issues it doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage is in trouble! Or, you may be experiencing some challenges that aren’t mentioned here. But if either you or your partner feels that your marriage is in trouble, or that it could benefit from marriage counseling, then make the call today. If your marriage needs help, you’ll get it. If your struggles are normal, you’ll be relieved to have that confirmed as well!
Call 540-376-3348 to schedule an appointment with a Thriveworks Marriage Counselor as soon as tomorrow, maybe even today!