Manassas VA Codependency Counseling

Codependency: When Helping Causes Harm—Counselors and Therapists in Manassas, VA

Before take-off, flight attendants always call people’s attention to safety procedures… no smoking in the lavatories, seats are floatation devices, oxygen masks may fall. Anyone who has flown could probably give the next instruction: secure your own mask before helping others with theirs. People who cannot breathe should not be helping others. This is an important life principle: take care of your own well-being before offering help. But many have difficulty living by this fundamental concept. All the time, people try to meet another’s needs or wants when they should be tending to their own financial, physical, or emotional needs. When this happens, people may be codependent.

For example, consider Sam’s situation. He is the model of a nice guy. Sam loves his 20-something son and would do anything for him. And Sam has done a lot. Sam pays his son’s tuition, rent, and utilities. He wants to give his son opportunities he never had. Sam tells himself, “that’s what good dads do.” He is happy to provide. Seeing his son happy is worth it, except that his son does not seem very happy. Sam knows his son is struggling. He has changed his major four times and works a job for a few weeks and then quits. By the time Sam was that age, he had three jobs and paid for everything himself. Sam does not understand why his son can’t pull it together.

Sam has a problem. Without a doubt, he loves his son, and without a doubt, he has good intentions. However, Sam may be harming himself and his son. He may be acting out of his own need, instead of fulfilling his own emotions needs before helping his son. Sam may be codependent and may need to learn how to put his own oxygen mask on first.

Sam is not the only one. Many people help to fulfill their own needs instead of offering support out of their strength.

Thriveworks Manassas offers counseling for people like Sam—people who struggle with codependency. Our professionals know that codependent behavior can cause a lot of harm, but we also know that people can change, learning healthier ways to relate.

Codependency: What Is It?

People who struggle with codependency may choose relationships with vulnerable people who have a history of addiction or careless behavior. As parents, they may raise their children to need them instead of to become independent adults.

A deep sense of shame and inadequacy often haunts codependent people. They often give and serve to prove their value, competence, and acceptance. However, this almost always leads to a vicious cycle where they grow resentful, and their loved one is enabled.

Because codependents tend to be very nice, giving people, it can be hard to see the harm they cause themselves or their loved one. The following characterize unhealthy, codependent behaviors.

  • Poor/no boundaries: Codependent people have a hard time saying, “no” or setting a limit on their loved ones.
  • Caretaking: What codependents do and who they are often interwoven. Refusing their help is often seen as a person rejection.
  • Minimization/denial: Serious mental and physical health problems may plague codependents, but they are often minimized or denied. They focus on other people as a distraction.
  • Obsession: Codependent people may fixate upon a particular person and worry obsessively about that person’s problems.
  • Low self-esteem: Acknowledging and living from their inherent self-worth is difficult for codependent people.
  • Dependency: Codependent people can be very needy in a relationship, and they often confuse being needed with being loved.
  • Poor communication skills: If they think their needs, thoughts, or feelings will upset someone they love, then a codependent may have difficulty communicating.
  • Tendencies to people-please: Codependent individuals usually want everyone to be happy, all the time. They take responsibility for their loved one’s feelings. They may blame themselves if their loved ones are upset, whether they are involved in the situation or not.

Therapy at Thriveworks Manassas for Codependent Behaviors

Did you recognize any of the characterizing behaviors of codependents? If you struggle, you are in good company. Many people wrestle with when, where, and how to help without harming, and skilled therapists have helped them learn healthy relationship skills. Recovering from codependency may involve…

  1. Acknowledging and honoring your real thoughts, feelings, and needs.
  2. Taking responsibility for your emotional, physical, emotional, and financial needs, and allowing others to do the same.
  3. Living from your inherent worth.

Do you want to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others with theirs? If you are ready, we are ready too. Thriveworks Manassas offers therapy to help codependent people recover.

When you call our office, know that new clients can often meet their therapist within 24 hours. We accept many forms of insurance. Weekend and evening appointments are also available.

Let’s get start. Thriveworks Manassas is ready to help.

Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

People Love Our Providers!

Overall Rating: 5★★★★★ based on 17 5 1 17 reviews. See all reviews
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

Depression

★★★★★
I believe my depression is coming from the lack of education, I have and the loss of so many jobs. It's finding but hard to keep a job. I'm embarrassed it has been hindering me for many years now I can't stand it I've been trying to get help for a while now and don't know where to go I am on suppression medication. I see a doctor every two weeks I have talked to him about this and until u was blacking the blue in the face. I think he sees it now. Thank good
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

Great first experience

★★★★★
So far I’m having a great first experience with Therapy.
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

Lisa

★★★★★
I started with Thriveworks and Lisa 3-4 months ago and I was nervous about telling a "stranger" my deepest issues and things I'm not always comfortable admitting myself. I have to say she has been amazing through an really tough relationship break and other things I was or am going through in life. She makes you feel comfortable and truly listens, providing support and options for situations which allow me to be able to look at situations differently. She has made an incredible improvement on my life and I always look forward to meeting with her. It has become a breath of fresh air for me. She is amazing and I consider her a friend. You can't go wrong.
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

So far I am liking my sessions and my counselor

★★★★★
So far I am liking my sessions and my counselor
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

My counselor is great

★★★★★
My counselor is great
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

Lisa Cornelius- My wonderful experience with her.

★★★★★
I worked with Lisa Cornelius for more than 6 months and she really is amazing. She helped me through my struggles by giving me strategies that could help me involve my well being. She is honest and she will connect with your situation by putting herself in your shoes. I've never connected with a therapist like I have with her. She really knows what she is doing. I highly recommend her!
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Counseling appreciation

★★★★★
A note of thanks to my counselor Lisa Cornelius. I have seen her for 2 years now and through our sessions an finding that I am a good person who has needs and a future that I never knew at 72 I coukd look forward to. Our lives go full circle sometimes and after bad things happen we start to think we have no right to try to be anyone but who others think we should be....not true! Hopefully Lisa and I can continue this journey and I can learn to relax in the real me and be content and happy with myself...thank you Lisa ....
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

Ms. Lisa

★★★★★
Ms. Lisa is a very amazing counselor. She helps you understand and can relate to you, which makes you feel better. Her way of counseling is different from past counselor. It was more dull with my past counselor, but with Ms. Lisa it is different. It is better to me. I definitely recommend Ms. Lisa because everytime I leave I feel lighter and a little bit better. 😊
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Shannon Oesch

★★★★★
Shannon Oesch is an excellent therapist and friend. I met Shannon years ago in Hawaii where I worked at a domestic violence shelter. Shannon came and facilitated a weekly support group and made a huge impact on many lives. Shannon is easy to talk to and a great listener!
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Shannon Oesch LCSW

★★★★★
Shannon was very supportive as a Clinical Supervisor and extremely knowledgeable and experienced in her field. She has helped me develop my clinical skills and competencies throughout my Social Work career.
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

It was an excellent experience.

★★★★★
It was an excellent experience. I have been suffering from high anxiety and was skeptical about talking with someone who didn’t know me. After my first session I could finally see light at the end of the tunnel. I cannot wait for my next appointments so that I can learn how to take my life back.
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

So far, so good!

★★★★★
So far, so good!
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

Had a very pleasant conversation with Mary

★★★★☆
Had a very pleasant conversation with Mary. It’s difficult to tell if she’s the one for me. Went as inspected .
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Thriveworks is amazing.

★★★★★
Thriveworks is amazing. It is such a relief to feel you are connecting with someone who truly understands the root of your problems and gives you hope that you can work through them. I am very thankful for this place.
Thriveworks Counseling Manassas

Comfortable, compassionate and welcoming staff.

★★★★★
Comfortable, compassionate and welcoming staff. My daughter and I have been impressed with every aspect of our experience with Thriveworks. High five!
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Good sessions

★★★★☆
Good sessions
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Yes!

★★★★★
I've taken a tour of this counseling practice, and met some of the staff. This practice is way above par, for sure.
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Thriveworks Counseling

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  • 10755 Ambassador Dr STE 201,
    Manassas, VA 20109

  • Mon-Fri:7AM-12AM
    Saturday:7AM-6PM
    Sunday:8AM-5PM

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