Lancaster, PA Marriage Therapy—Counselors
Prince Humperdink nervously stood at the altar with Princess Buttercup as their wedding hurriedly begins. The priest stands up and opens the service, “Marriage, that blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream… and love, true love, will follow you forever… so treasure your love.” The Princess Bride’s wedding homily has become one of the most beloved marriage scenes in any movie. Of course, Princess Buttercup and Prince Humperdink do not share true love. Of course, marriage is not always a blessed arrangement or a dream within a dream. Anyone who is married can laugh at the absurdity. It is a sweet idea that once a couple is married, their life is a dream and their problems are solved. Unfortunately, that is not most people’s experience. It is normal for marriage to run into difficulty. That is why many couples vow to love one another “in good times and bad, in health and sickness, for rich or poor.” More and more, spouses are reaching out for help when they are in those times that are bad, sick, or poor, and they are going to marriage therapy.
“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”
—Barbara De Angelis
The everyday work it takes to make a marriage work can easily get off track. Life gets busy. Disagreements become stressful. Little things add up. Big things become overwhelming. Before spouses know it, they can be living separate lives. If you and your spouse realize that your marriage is not where you want it to be, know that you are not alone and know that help is available. Marriage counseling is not a silver bullet for a relationship’s success, but it has helped many spouses find better ways to love each other.
The therapist at Thriveworks Lancaster offer marriage counseling because no marriage is perfect. When spouses are willing to work at their marriage—see marriage as a verb instead of a noun—our therapists may be able to teach them how.
When Is the Right Time to Start Marriage Therapy?
When they bump into relationship challenges, many spouses wonder if this is the right time to start marriage therapy. Only those within the marriage know when the right time for marriage counseling is, but if one or both spouses are wondering if counseling could help, it probably could. There is no perfect time to start therapy. There is no perfect reason to go to counseling. Every couple has their own reasons. Each couple has to forge their own path, but a few reasons spouses have started marriage therapy at Thriveworks Lancaster include…
1) One or both spouses have had an affair.
When a spouse cheats, trust within the relationship is destroyed. Significant harm has been dealt to the other spouse and to the marriage. Sometimes, marriages can recover. When spouses are willing to be honest with one another and when they are open to change, trust can be rebuilt. Sometimes, marriages do not recover, and a healthy path forward is to pursue an amicable divorce. In either case, a marriage therapist can often guide the recovery process.
2) The relationship has constant tension.
Every partnership has tension. It is completely normal and even healthy to feel disappointed or frustrated with one’s spouse, express that feeling, and then resolve the issue. Those in the mental health field who study marriages say that healthy spouses have about one of these negative interactions for every five positive interactions. This ratio acknowledges a truth many know intuitively: negative interactions are more powerful than positive ones. For a marriage to flourish, spouses must learn healthy conflict resolution skills so that these negative interactions are engaged and resolved. Conflict can far too easily escalate. Marriage therapists often spend significant time working with spouses, teaching them how to disagree with each other without attacking each other.
3) One or both spouses feel apathetic about the marriage.
Some marriage problems feel like fire and rage. Others feel like ice and apathy. Ice can cause just as much harm as fire. When spouses have lost feeling for each other and for the marriage—even negative feelings—their marriage may need help. A lack of emotions can signal that each spouse is shutting down. Spouses may stop communicating and may stonewall each other. Marriage therapists may be able to help the couple find the underlying problem, work through it, and re-start communication.
Making an Appointment for Marriage Therapy at Thriveworks Lancaster
You and your spouse may be struggling with one of the issues listed here. You and your spouse may not be struggling with one of the issues listed here. It would be impossible to list all the things that can throw a marriage off track, but if that is where you and your spouse find yourself—know that marriages can get back on track. There are never simple solutions or quick fixes, but marriage therapists are often helpful in resolving relational problems.
If you are ready to meet with a marriage counselor, consider reaching out to Thriveworks Lancaster. When you contact our office, you may have your first appointment the following day. We offer evening and weekend sessions, and we accept many different insurance plans. Our professionals have worked with many spouses, and we are ready to work with you. Call today.