What 12 therapists do when they’re having a bad day

Everyone has bad days—even therapists. And while no one is perfect when it comes to bouncing back after a series of unfortunate events, therapists do tend to have a variety of coping skills in their toolbox for moments like this.

We asked 12 mental health clinicians what they do on a bad day so you can try out their tips the next time you’re going through it. Here’s what they said.

1.Remember this is temporary.

When you’re having negative thoughts or feelings, it’s easy to get swept up in them and feel like it’s going to be this way forever. It’s important to remind yourself that it’s not.

“I give myself the mantra of, ‘This too shall pass,’” says Heather Hollingsworth, a licensed professional counselor at Thriveworks. “Everything is temporary, and that reminder allows me to practice being more present in aspects of my life that are fulfilling and bring me joy.”

2. Allow yourself to do less.

“If I am having a bad day, the last thing I need is more pressure,” says Caitlyn Oscarson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “I try to take a few things off my plate and lower my expectations a bit so I can preserve my energy to regroup.”

It’s OK to do the bare minimum when everything is especially awful. Remind yourself tomorrow is a new day, and you can do more tomorrow.

3. Bring some humor into it.

Remember: life doesn’t always have to be so serious, even on bad days. If you’re able to add some levity to rough moments, that can help you to not dwell on them, says Jami Dumler, a licensed clinical social worker and director of clinical programs at Thriveworks.

“I used to get frustrated by little mishaps throughout the day, like spilling my coffee. Now I just say, ‘Well, that’s fun!’” Dumler says. “It helps me keep small frustrations in perspective and pivot instead of letting them derail my day.”

4. Find a playlist to help you process.

Sometimes it’s not about pushing away the bad day, but leaning into it. “I let myself feel that funky mood and punctuate it with music,” says Donna Oriowo, a licensed independent clinical social worker.

“I have a sad, mad, and angry girl playlist. I turn it on, feel my feels, and let the emotions move through my body,” Oriowo adds. “Emotions usually just want some room to be felt, so I honor them.”

5. Lock in with your favorite comfort show or book.

“I find that healthy distraction is an underrated coping strategy. Sometimes, it’s OK to unplug and consciously disconnect by watching a great show or getting lost in a book,” says Madeline Weinfeld Shill, a licensed clinical social worker.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, giving your brain a temporary break from whatever is bothering you can help you come back to the problem with a little more energy and a better mood.

“Of course, it can become problematic if this turns into full-blown avoidance, but I find it often helps me regulate and reset to then be able to address whatever caused the bad day,” Weinfeld Shill adds.

6. Take a walk around the block.

We’ve all heard the benefits of the mental health walk, but it’s a classic for a reason.

“The left-foot, right-foot motion combined with my eyes naturally tracking the environment creates bilateral stimulation, which helps my nervous system process the stress instead of just letting it loop in my head,” says Alyssa Scolari, a licensed professional counselor.

7. Have a moment with a hot beverage.

When licensed clinical worker Angela Armendariz is having a rough day, she makes a hot drink and uses the opportunity to practice being present.

“Drinking a hot cup of anything you like provides a soothing sensory experience that can slow your nervous system down,” Armendariz says. “Take both of your hands and hold your warm mug. Take a deep breath and focus on the delicious aroma. Enjoy slow, small sips. You can’t really chug a hot drink—you have to take it slow.”

This mindfulness exercise can lead to slower, deeper breaths, which helps you regulate and relax, Armendariz adds.

8. Get some fresh air.

“I get outside, even if it’s just for a few minutes,” says Hallie Kritsas, a licensed mental health counselor at Thriveworks. This could look like stepping outside your front door and taking a few deep breaths while you feel the sun on your face, sitting in your backyard and enjoying a cup of tea or coffee, or heading out to a park.

“I think that feeling the sun, rain, breeze, or cool air can ground us in a sense,” she adds. “Most of us spend much of our week working or rushing around, and to have just a few minutes of walking or sitting outside can bring us back down to a neutral and natural place.”

9. Admit when things are awful.

Sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do is release yourself from the pressure to feel better.

“Call it like it is—it’s just one of those days. Surrendering is not giving up; it’s actively choosing to disengage from something that isn’t working,” says Julia Tehovnik, a licensed clinical professional counselor.

“Naming it as ‘one of those days’ is a form of depersonalization that helps me stop blaming myself and rework my expectations for myself and the day based on how it’s going, rather than trying to force it to go differently,” Tehovnik adds.

10. Just focus on the next hour.

“I stop trying to rescue the entire day,” says Elizabeth Bodett Dresser, a licensed clinical professional counselor. Instead, she focuses on just trying to make the next hour a little easier.

“Saying, ‘What would help for the next hour?’ is much easier for my brain to answer than, ‘How do I turn this whole day around?’” Bodett Dresser says.

If even that feels hard, take even smaller baby steps and ask yourself, “What can I do to make the next few minutes better?”

The answer might be: stepping outside for a few minutes, eating something, treating yourself to a coffee, or canceling or rescheduling a meeting that doesn’t actually need to happen right now.

11. Think about what’s going right.

Two things can be true at once: you can be having a lousy day and you can also be grateful for other things happening in your life.

“When I’m not doing well and need to cope during a bad day, I try to list three things that are going well and that I’m grateful for in my life right now,” says Alexandra Cromer, a licensed professional counselor at Thriveworks. This can help you zoom out from whatever’s going wrong right now and remember that there’s so much more to life in this moment.

12. Remind yourself you’ve gotten through bad days before.

“I think one of the keys to turning a hard day around is to stop endless rumination,’or thinking ‘this moment is my life forever,” says Jared Burkett-Edskerud, a licensed professional counselor associate at Thriveworks. “Then I remind myself of the days that were harder that I got through.”

Think back to the last truly horrible day you had. What helped you then? Was it a person, a coping skill, or simply going to bed and starting fresh the next morning?

You can even tell yourself: “I’ve survived every bad day I didn’t think I would survive.” Chances are, you’ll get through this one too.

Want more unfiltered advice from therapists?

This article is part of our Clinician Confidential series, in which we collect useful tips and advice from a wide variety of experienced mental health professionals. Check out some of the other articles in the series here:

• 12 scripts therapists use to set better boundaries
• How to get more out of therapy, according to therapists
• 13 signs therapy is working, even if you don’t feel like you’re making progress
• What therapists want you to know about grief
• 12 mental health “red flags” that are actually just human nature

Responses have been edited for clarity.