Marriage is everyone’s happily-ever-after, right? Marriage means the end of stressful dating and the beginning of wedded bliss, right?
If only life were a rom-com where all of life’s problems can be wrapped up nicely in a 2-hour screenplay. The reality, of course, is that real life and real marriage are not so easy. The idea of a happily-ever-after is sweet, but healthy marriages take a lot of work. They do not just happen.
That is one of the many reasons that marriage vows generally include something about sticking together “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and for richer or for poorer.” The “worse,” the “sickness,” and the “poorer” are a part of married life as much as the “better,” the “health,” and the “richer” are.
Many married couples seek out help during those harder times and work with a marriage and family therapist to help them learn how to relate in healthier ways. If you’re looking to prioritize your relationship in new ways, the marriage counselors at Thriveworks in Chicago, IL can help. Reach out today to start turning your relationship challenges into opportunities for growth.
When Should We Go to Marriage Counseling?
This is a common question that spouses ask, and in many ways, there is no right answer. Many spouses go to couples counseling when they have run out of other options for helping their relationship. Some people go to marriage therapy when troubles first arise. Others decide to schedule a therapy session when they are facing particularly difficult circumstances, like a death in the family, a move to a new city, or financial difficulties.
This list is by no means exhaustive, but here are a few reasons why couples people to pursue relationship counseling.
- You dislike your spouse. It may not be something that many people will admit, but the reality is that at times, spouses do not like each other. They may even despise each other. A number of reasons can cause these feelings. Maybe a spouse lied or cheated. Maybe a spouse made an irresponsible decision. Whatever the circumstances may be, if negative feelings about your spouse are present, a marriage therapist can help you work through them.
- You do not feel anything about your spouse. Sometimes, spouses are furious and negative emotions are raging. At other times, spouses are ice cold toward each other. Coldness can be just as much a problem as fury. Marriages often go through seasons that lack emotion, concern, passion, and love, but sometimes, this becomes more than a season and it becomes the norm. When spouses feel apathetic toward one another, it may be time to start marriage counseling. When spouses are willing to identify the root causes of this stonewalling, they may be able to change the way they relate to each other and rekindle the passion.
- It feels like each spouse is living a completely separate life. Living separate lives is not the same as living busy lives or having unique interests. When spouses are living completely separate lives, they never come back together to connect. There is distance, not just in time and place, but from an emotional perspective as well. The disconnect may be a sign of intimacy issues. Marriage counselors can work with couples, helping them re-prioritize the relationship and finding new ways to connect.
- Ongoing relationship problems are making life harder. Every marriage has ongoing issues or little things one spouse does that annoy the other. We are all human, after all. In most cases, spouses are able to deal with these issues respectfully and without attacking or harming each other. But when these ongoing issues escalate to make life more difficult for one or both spouses, it may be time to reach out for help. In particular, when spouses begin attacking each other instead of the problem, this is a sign they may need help to resolve the issue.
- You think it might help. Often, the best indicator for whether a couple should go to marriage therapy is their own intuition. If one or both spouses want to go, marriage counseling will probably help. Mental health care depends greatly upon how much clients are willing to put into it. If you open to change and are ready to try a new strategy, it may be time to see a marriage therapist.
Scheduling Marriage Counseling at Thriveworks in Chicago, IL
If you or your spouse thinks it is time to reach out for help, consider reaching out to schedule a marriage therapy appointment at Thriveworks in Chicago, IL. When you call our office, a real person will answer the line and we won’t put you on a waitlist. Instead, we have friendly scheduling specialists ready to answer your call and help you make an appointment that fits your schedule.
New clients often can have their first appointment within a day or two following their first call. When it is time to start, why wait weeks to meet with a therapist? We know that life is busy so we offer weekend and evening sessions and even remote therapy opportunities. We also accept many forms of insurance.
At Thriveworks, we believe your energy should go toward improving your marriage, not scheduling therapy. Let’s work together. Call Thriveworks in Chicago, IL today to get started.