Anger is a normal human emotion that has a very wide range. At one end of the scale can be mild irritation and the other, intense rage or fury. Even though there are a lot of shades in between, if anger has created problems in your life, particularly your relationships, you’ll find you move rapidly from one end of that scale to the other. And, it usually feels like there is no way to control how quickly and intensely that happens.
One of the most valuable benefits of therapy is its ability to discern and assess the differences between normal anger and potentially destructive anger (rage). At Thriveworks Tucson, we use the powerful Anger Assessment, asking important questions to help you identify whether anger is a problem for you. If we determine that it is, we can move quickly into using powerful awareness’s and tools to get it under control.
One of the first steps in managing anger is to identify what types of situations usually trigger it. Some of these situations can be avoided, like running late or being unprepared for an event. Other situations aren’t under your control, such as being cut off in traffic, or how another person you care about feels in an interaction.
One of the first and most powerful realizations we must have is what we do have control of. And that, in short, is our own reaction. No one else can MAKE us feel or act the way we do. Those feelings and reactions are our own. This realization, in and of itself, can be a major game changer. It’s then our responsibility to know what is being triggered inside of us so that we can know and manage our anger…and, all of our emotions.
To begin the assessment process, we help :
- Make a list of your common trigger situations
- Make another list of the warning signs for your anger
- Ask questions that will make you aware of these warning signs in your body. i.e. what is it that usually happens in my body when I get angry?
- Practice this awareness of your body’s alarm bells and work on spotting the anger early on, so that you can employ coping strategies right away
As you learn to use the coping strategies, it’s helpful to go even deeper:
Once you are aware of the warning signs, stop and ask yourself what is “making you angry.” Often, whatever is going on will be something that is quite reasonable to feel angry about and it’s good to acknowledge that. But it is also important to be clear about the cause of the anger, so that don’t respond in a way that is out of proportion, such as: staying angry all day about someone using up the last of the milk or taking out anger on the wrong person (such as a family member when it is your boss you are really angry with).
We can also provide powerful coping skills such as
- Time Out
- Silly Humor
- Positive self-talk
- Productive thinking
- Solidifying boundaries
- Assertiveness skills
- Group support
If you are wondering if anger is a problem for you, or for someone you love, and want to know more, please take the next step and contact us. We provide individual and group help with anger management. It could make a powerful difference in your life/relationship!