Marriage Counseling in New Orleans, LA
The moral of most romantic comedies is that a wedding is the pinnacle of the relationship. Everything that has held a couple back and kept them from one another has been overcome, and the wedding marks the beginning of happily-ever-after. Think about some of the most beloved rom-coms: Hitch, Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally, Silver Linings Playbook, While You Were Sleeping. The getting together is the hard part of the relationship. Marriage is the easy part. Right? Wrong. Romantic comedies are a fun way to spend an evening, but they are a poor guide for a realistic marriage. Reality is that many people struggle within their marriage. Wedding vows often include a promise to love each other “for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer” because it is normal to have worse, sick, and poor times. It is also normal for spouses to reach out during those difficult times. Marriage therapists often work with spouses to help them work through relational challenges and experience a deeper, more loving connection.
“A great marriage isn’t something that just happens;
it’s something that must be created.” —Fawn Weaver
The marriage counselors at Thriveworks New Orleans have worked with many spouses who are struggling to create a healthy connection. Often, these couples want to make their marriage work, but they are not sure how. Marriage therapy is not a quick-fix or a magic potion, but counselors are often excellent guides for creating a healthy, happy marriage.
Could Marriage Therapy Help?
When they are struggling, spouses often wonder if this is the right time to start therapy. While there is technically no right time to start marriage therapy, there is also no wrong time to start it either. In fact, wondering if marriage therapy could help may be a sign that it is time to make an appointment. There is no limit to the reasons spouses could start marriage therapy, but a few of the reasons they have worked with marriage counselors at Thriveworks New Orleans include…
1) Continuous or Escalating Arguments.
Because a marriage is the union of two individuals, there should be arguments. Disagreement, difference, and debate are often a sign of health when spouses honor each other’s view and resolve the issue with respect. Doing so, however, is more easily said than done. Arguments can often escalate to personal attacks. Arguments can also go unresolved and drain energy from the relationship. Marriage therapists often work with spouses, teaching them healthy conflict resolution skills.
2) Never having arguments (or disagreements).
It is worth repeating: healthy spouses argue and disagree, but they do so respectfully. If the disagreements are disrespectful, this is a problem. If the disagreements are not even happening, this is a problem as well. It may signal that spouses have conflicted poorly in the past and have given up trying to communicate well. It may also signal that one spouse’s feelings, thoughts, and needs are dominating, and the other spouse has lost a sense of their own identity. This is another circumstance where healthy communication and conflict resolution skills may help improve the marriage.
3) A spouse has committed adultery.
Cheating can send a marriage into cardiac arrest. Affairs destroy trust, and trust is the foundation of any healthy marriage. Spouses sometimes choose to work on their relationship and try to repair it after an affair. Spouses sometimes choose to end the marriage after an affair. In both cases, a marriage therapist can often help direct that process and help each spouse find healing.
4) One or both spouses are trying to force each other to change.
One principle for being in a happy relationship is that each individual is responsible for their own attitudes, feelings, thoughts, choices, and growth. When one spouse is trying to change the other way, there may be personal growth that needs to happen, but it will not happen at someone else’s prompting. Trying to change another person rarely produces long-lasting improvement. Instead, it often introduces shame, tension, and disappointment. Marriage counselors often help spouses find the right balance of personal responsibility and accountability.
5) There is abuse in the relationship.
Abuse in any relationship is never acceptable. Within a marriage, it can be even more devastating because a marriage should be the safest relationship in a person’s life. Abuse in any form, including sexual, emotional, or physical, is always wrong. If you have experienced abuse from your spouse, know that it is not your fault. Know that your safety is important. Seeking help is often the right choice.
Scheduling an Appointment for Marriage Therapy at Thriveworks New Orleans
As you read through this list of reasons why some go to marriage therapy, did you recognize anything? Maybe you did. Maybe you did not. It would be impossible to list every reason spouses seek out help for their relationship. If you are ready to start marriage therapy, then it may be time to start. The professionals at Thriveworks New Orleans are ready to help. When you contact our office, you and your spouse may have your first appointment the following day. We do not have voicemail in our office, but a person answers our phone and helps our clients make their appointments. We offer evening and weekend appointments. We also work with a variety of insurance providers and accept many different plans. Let’s work together. Call Thriveworks New Orleans today for a marriage therapy appointment.