High Point, NC Marriage Counseling—Therapists
The pinnacle of any relationship, according to most romantic comedies, is the wedding. Marriage is the end of the movie—the resolution to all of the couple’s struggle to come together. The hard part of finding a soulmate is finished, and now, the couple, who has overcome tremendous challenges to be together, can enjoy a lifetime of wedded bliss. Think about movies like My Best Friend’s Wedding, You’ve Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, Enough Said, Love Actually, Hitch, 27 Dresses, and more. Seeing marriage as the end of a couples struggle with a nice idea for the movies, but in reality, it is not most people’s experiences. In many ways, marriage is not the end, it is the beginning. A wedding does not magically erase any problems that a couple has. That is why most marriage vows include a promise to love each other “in good times and bad.” Just as most spouses will experience the good, they will also experience the bad. Marriage has ups and downs—it is normal for spouses to struggle. It is also normal to reach out for help. More and more, spouses are seeking out help as they navigate challenges within their relationships, and they are going to marriage counseling.
“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together.
It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
– Dave Meurer
The counselors and therapists at Thriveworks High Point know that no marriage is perfect, but we have worked with many couples as they learn to connect well and as they build a better marriage.
Is Now the Right Time for Marriage Counseling?
When spouses are struggling, they may wonder if marriage counseling is a good idea. Is this the time to reach out for help? The only people who can answer that question are within the marriage. There is no right reason or right time to start marriage therapy. There is also no wrong reason or wrong time to start marriage therapy. Spouses begin therapy together for many reasons. Sometimes, their relationship is struggling, and they are out of options. Sometimes, their relationship is going strong, but life’s circumstances are particularly stressful. There are any number of reasons that couples begin marriage therapy, but a few examples include…
1) On-going problems are escalating.
Every marriage has problems. At some point or another, spouses will annoy each other. On-going issues can be big, little, or anything in between, but they will always be present. People are human, after all. How spouses respond to these on-going problems can either set their marriage up for healthy connection or drive a wedge in the relationship. When problems are met with humility, empathy, and a willingness to change, then the marriage can grow healthier. When problems escalate to personal attacks, the marriage and each spouse will suffer. Marriage counselors often work with spouses to teach them healthy ways to resolve their conflict.
2) There constant tension in the relationship.
At some point in their relationship, one spouse will feel disappointed or frustrated with the other. It may be hard to admit, but spouses may be in love, but it is normal to not always like each other. Marriage experts content that a healthy ratio for negative interactions to positive interactions within a relationship is 1:5. That means, for every one negative interaction that spouses have, they should be having five positive ones (at least). When this ratio is off, it is an indicator that the marriage is off. The root issue may be that one spouse has lied or made an irresponsible choice or has cheated. Whatever that root cause may be, it is important for spouses to identify it and resolve it. Marriage therapists often help them do just that.
3) One or both spouses feel apathetic about the marriage.
During relational challenges, spouses may rage. Emotions can run high and cause harm. The opposite, however, can be just as harmful. When spouses feel nothing toward each other, not even negative emotions, the marriage may be facing deep trouble. When spouses stop communicating, feeling, and interaction, their difficulties may have escalated to the point of being overwhelming. Spouses may be shutting down, and they may need outside help to re-establish health.
4) Spouses live different lives.
Calendars quickly fill up. In a connected marriage, spouses can have different interests and busy lives, but they always find time to come together. Connection is a priority for both spouses. When this does not happen, it is a sign that each spouse is living a different life. Their lives may be parallel, but they are not connected. Spouses may also be pulling in opposite directions. In either case, living separate lives is a reason many couples go to marriage therapy.
Scheduling Marriage Therapy at Thriveworks High Point
If you are considering going to marriage counseling, that may be a sign that you are ready. As you read through the list of reasons why some couples go to therapy, you may have recognized a dynamic within your own marriage. You may not have. There are many reasons to reach out to help, and help is available. The professionals at Thriveworks High Point offer marriage therapy, and we have appointments available. When you contact our office, you may be meeting with your therapist the following day. We also accept many forms of insurance. Call Thriveworks High Point today. Let’s work together.