Things are not how they used to be. Maybe the marriage changed a few months ago… or has it been a few years? It is hard to say. But something definitely changed. Maybe the change was slow, maybe it was fast, but it was definitely real. Conversations are not as warm like they used to be. You and your spouses are not as attentive to each other. Tension rises quickly. Patience, empathy, and understanding are rare. This was not the marriage either of you envisioned when you said your “I Dos.” Maybe this is why you promised to love “in sickness and heath, for rich or poor, in good times and bad.” The truth is that every marriage had difficulty. Being in a long-term, committed relationship is hard, and many spouses seek out help during those hardships. Many spouses go to marriage counseling.
“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”
—Barbara De Angelis
Many spouses come to a place in their marriage that they never envisioned. Their relationship is far from happily-ever-after, and they are wondering what is next. No one can predict the future. For 40 percent of first-time marriages, the right next step is divorce. For 60 percent, the right next step is staying together. No one can decide what the right path forward may be except those within the marriage, but everyone can have help along the way. Marriage therapy is a place many spouses work together a better relationship—whatever form that relationship may take.
It is okay to struggle, and it is okay to reach out for help. Thriveworks Cherry Hill is ready to help spouses who are experiencing difficulty. We offer marriage therapy.
Is It Time to Start Marriage Therapy?
During difficult times, many spouses are desperate for resources and change. They may wonder if their struggle could be helped in marriage therapy. There is no right or wrong reason to start marriage therapy. If you think that counseling may help, it probably could. There are no guarantees, and therapy is not a magic formula. At the same time, as Barbara De Angelis said, marriage is a verb. Many spouses want to work on their relationship, but they may not know how. A skilled marriage therapist may teach them how to walk through difficulties such as…
1) One or both spouses have cheated.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship—especially marriages, but cheating decimates trust. While it can be rebuilt, regaining trust is a difficult and long process. Many spouses choose that road. Many choose to end the relationship. Both paths have unique challenges, and marriage therapists may be able to help the marriage forward after an affair.
2) You and your spouse are trying to change each other.
People can only change themselves—they cannot change anyone else, even their spouse—especially their spouse. When spouses are trying to change each other, they may be neglecting their own personal growth. Instead of focusing upon their own improvement, they may be focusing their energy upon their spouse’s flaws. Doing so will not produce long-term change. It will introduce shame, tensions, and frustration. Marriage therapists often teaches couples how to focus upon their own feelings, choices, responsibilities, thoughts, and growth so that they can offer love and acceptance to their spouse.
3) Apathy or tension is harming the relationship.
Fire is a destructive force, and so is ice. When tension is high and spouses are attacking each other instead of the problem, they often harm each other in the process. When apathy is high and spouses are ignoring each other, they often harm each other in the process. Relational experts often speak about The Golden Ratio—that spouses have one negative interaction for every five positive interactions. When this ratio is off with tension or apathy, each spouse and the marriage may suffer. Marriage therapy may be the next step.
Scheduling Marriage Therapy at Thriveworks Cherry Hill
If you are considering marriage therapy, here are a few ways that counseling may help you and your spouse…
- By pinpointing relational patterns that are harmful. It can be very difficult for spouses to see how they relate to each other. Often, people need distance to see ways they are relating that are hurtful. Often, that distance is provided by marriage counseling.
- By teaching you and your spouse conflict resolutions skills. Many spouses have never been empowered with healthy relational and conflict skills. When spouses learn these, their marriage often improves.
- By establishing appropriate expectations for change. Certain changes need to be made now. Others can wait. Marriage therapy often helps spouses focus upon what they most need to focus upon.
If you are ready to meet with a marriage therapist, consider reaching out to Thriveworks Cherry Hill. When you contact our office, a scheduling specialist will answer and help you make an appointment. Your first session may be within 24 hours of your first call. We do not put our clients on a waitlist, but we do offer evening and weekend sessions. We also work with many different insurance companies and accept many different insurance plans.
Every marriage has its ups and downs. We have worked with many spouses as they fight for more good times and less bad times. Call Thriveworks Cherry Hill today.
Anger, Coping Skills, Self Esteem, Stress, Women’s Issues, +3 more 
