10 reasons to go to therapy before you think you need to

10 reasons to start therapy (even when you're "fine")

Starting therapy doesn’t require a catastrophic event. Here are 10 therapist-backed reasons to seek help, even when life looks manageable on the outside.

1. You have big reactions to little inconveniences.

Being left on read triggers hours of anxiety. A minor work critique sends you into a shame spiral. You know your reaction is way bigger than the situation warrants, but you can’t seem to stop it.

“You can intellectually tell yourself it’s not that big of a deal, but your body reacts as if it is,” says Cheryl Groskopf, a licensed marriage and family therapist and professional clinical counselor. “That’s often a sign that your current stress is actually responding to older experiences.”

When small stressors consistently trigger outsized reactions, a therapist can help identify what’s really driving them and address the underlying patterns.

2. You feel like you should be happy, but you aren’t.

You have an amazing partner, your dream job, and you live in a city you love. On paper, everything’s working. So why don’t you feel great?

“You haven’t fallen back on your goals, but you feel a weird disconnect between your life and your actual felt sense of satisfaction,” Groskopf says. “You wonder, ‘Why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t I just enjoy this?’”

Therapy can help you unpack what’s behind that disconnect before it leads to self-sabotage. “Sometimes it’s depression, other times it’s your body reverting back to old templates about what you had to do to earn love, attention, or safety,” Groskopf says.

3. You’re irritable with people you care about.

If you’ve been snapping at your partner, short with coworkers, or impatient with friends or your kids—especially when that’s out of character for you—it’s worth exploring what’s underneath, says Hallie Kritsas, a licensed mental health counselor with Thriveworks.

Persistent irritability often signals burnout, chronic stress, anxiety, or depression. A therapist can help you address the root cause so you can show up better for yourself and the people around you.

4. Your body holds tension you can’t shake.

Persistent stomach aches, unexplained headaches, chronic muscle tension, nausea with no clear cause. These physical symptoms often trace back to mental health struggles like anxiety and depression.

“People don’t realize that therapy can help with their physical health,” Cromer says. “We tend to think of [therapy] as just changing the way we think and we feel, and that’s true, but it can also help with your physical health.”

Research published in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine found that psychological interventions significantly reduced physical symptoms in patients with medically unexplained complaints, including pain, fatigue, and gastrointestinal issues. By addressing what’s happening mentally, you can reduce what’s happening physically. A 2021 meta-analysis in Preventive Medicine Reports also found that cognitive behavioral therapy helped lower both systolic and diastolic blood pressure in patients with hypertension.

5. The same intrusive thoughts keep looping.

Maybe you’re convinced you have a brain tumor every time you get a headache. Or you can’t stop thinking that something terrible will happen if you don’t complete a specific ritual. If you’re stuck in repetitive, unwanted, intrusive, or distressing thought patterns, you’re not alone.

“There’s a thought you’ve had that’s holding you captive,” Cromer says. A therapist can help normalize what you’re experiencing and teach you that thoughts are often just that: thoughts. They can also help determine if your thought patterns point to conditions like anxiety disorders or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that respond well to treatment.

6. You keep running into the same relationship problems.

Every time someone gets close, you pull back. You’re always the one who overfunctions in friendships and group projects, then feels resentful later. Your relationships might be intact, but you notice patterns that keep showing up—whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or family dynamics.

“Maybe your relationship is solid, but your brain won’t stop scanning for problems,” Groskopf says. “Therapy before a crisis lets you explore those patterns when you are still calm enough to be curious instead of in damage control.”

Even if your relationships aren’t falling apart, recurring patterns take a toll over time. A therapist can help you understand why they keep happening and how to shift them.

7. Even small decisions feel paralyzing.

Should you take the new job? What should you order for dinner? Which apartment should you choose? If you feel stuck or even paralyzed when faced with decisions—whether they’re life-changing or mundane—therapy can help, Kritsas says.

Difficulty making decisions is often tied to anxiety, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. A therapist can help you uncover what’s driving your decision paralysis and build confidence in your ability to make choices without spiraling into self-doubt.

8. You say yes when you mean no.

Your boss asks if you can take on another project. You’re exhausted, but you say yes. A friend needs help moving. You have plans, but you cancel them. Someone asks if you’re free. You are, but you wish you’d lied.

Setting boundaries is essential for protecting your time and energy, but if you struggle to say no—even to small requests—there’s often a deeper reason why.

“Those tiny yeses are often survival skills you learned to stay safe or liked as a kid,” Groskopf says. Therapy can help you unpack where these patterns came from and learn how to set and maintain boundaries that actually work for you.

9. You’ve learned to shut down your emotions.

You stay busy to avoid feeling. You minimize your needs. When someone asks how you’re doing, you default to “fine” even when you’re not. If you’ve spent years learning to suppress emotions rather than process them, therapy offers a space to slowly and safely reconnect with your emotional world.

“You can simply say, ‘I just need a space to be able to feel what I feel,’” Cromer says. A therapist provides that dedicated time and space, with professional guidance on how to work through difficult emotions.

Therapy can also help you build communication skills and confidence to express how you actually feel—something many people struggle with, Cromer adds.

10. Good things feel uncomfortable or scary.

Someone gives you a genuine compliment and you immediately deflect. You’re in a healthy relationship but keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. You finally have some downtime but can’t let yourself rest without guilt.

If good things—connection, rest, compliments, success—feel scary or undeserved, therapy can help you understand why and learn to tolerate them.

“Many people wish they knew therapy could help with good things feeling scary, like letting someone in, letting yourself rest, or receiving a compliment without immediately deflecting,” Groskopf says. “They thought therapy was only for pain, not for learning how to tolerate pleasure, connection, and ease. By the time they find that out, they often say, ‘I could have used this ten years ago!’”

4 things therapists wish more people knew about starting therapy

If you’re still on the fence about therapy, these insights from therapists might help—whether you’re considering it for yourself or encouraging someone you care about.

1. Therapy is a collaboration.

“People are often surprised that good therapy is collaborative, not corrective,” Groskopf says. “A therapist doesn’t sit across from you and say, ‘Here’s what’s wrong with you.’”

You’re the one “driving the ship,” Kritsas says. The therapist’s role is to affirm you, help you notice patterns, build coping skills, and remind you that you don’t have to navigate life alone.

2. It doesn’t matter if other people have it worse than you.

Many people avoid therapy because they think their struggles aren’t severe enough, especially when comparing themselves to others who seem to have bigger problems.

“A lot of people feel bad because they feel like they’re wasting my time or taking up too much of my time, because it’s not bad enough or someone else has it worse,” Cromer says. “But just because someone else has it worse doesn’t mean what you’re going through isn’t valid.”

Groskopf echoes this: Many clients tell her, “I wish I’d known I was allowed to get support, even if no one did anything obviously terrible to me.” Your struggles don’t need to be catastrophic to warrant help.

3. You won’t be forced to share before you’re ready.

Many people picture therapy as sitting across from an intimidating professional who won’t smile, or being pushed to discuss trauma they’re not ready to process. That’s not how it works.

“I would say 95 percent—if not more—of the time, it isn’t as scary for new clients as they thought it would be,” Kritsas says.

You set the pace. Your therapist won’t dive into trauma or pressure you to share anything before you’re ready. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you can tell them you want to slow down or take a step back. Good therapists respect that.

4. You won’t be in therapy forever.

Some people worry that starting therapy means committing for life. It doesn’t.

While some people with serious mental health conditions benefit from long-term care, many people only need several weeks or months of sessions to address a specific issue and learn coping skills, Kritsas says. If you’ve made significant progress but still want support, you can also space out sessions, moving to every other week or once a month for maintenance.

Still not sure? That might be your answer

“If you’re on the fence of whether to go or not, that’s your subconscious leading you towards, ‘I need to go to therapy,’” Cromer says.

If any of the reasons above resonated with you, that’s enough. Your struggles are valid, and you don’t need everything figured out before you start. That’s what the first therapy session is for. A therapist can help you identify your goals and determine what kind of support would be most helpful right now.

Next steps:

• Learn about insurance coverage for therapy.
• Find out how to choose the right therapist for you, because a strong therapeutic relationship is one of the most important factors in successful therapy.
• Not sure what you’ll talk about? This guide from therapists eliminates that concern.

Starting therapy doesn’t mean committing forever. It’s about exploring whether it helps.