Marriage Counseling in Concord, NC
Conversations with your spouse used to flow seamlessly. Tension did not always flare. Understanding and kindness and patience have been replaced with sarcasm and eye rolls and silence. What happened? If you can relate, you are not alone. Many marriages have challenges. There is a reason that most wedding vows include a promise to love “for rich or poor, in good times and bad, in sickness and health.” There are times of poverty, difficulty, and sickness in most marriages. No marriage and no spouse is perfect, but just as relationships can change for the worse, they can also change for the better. Many spouses are going to marriage counseling to help build a better relationship. For some couples, the path forward to a better relationship is separate or divorce. For other couples, the path forward to a better relationship is making adjustments for a deeper connection. In either case, spouses rarely regret working together in marriage therapy to find a path forward.
“Couples counseling gets many couples back together. But not all, and not always. For your own sake and that of your children, however, I recommend it – I almost insist on it – as the first step for anyone unhappy in a relationship.”
—Laura Wasser, divorce attorney
Forty percent of all first-time marriage will end in separation or divorce. The rate is even higher for second or third marriages. No one can decide what is right for a marriage except each spouse within the marriage, but many spouses are glad they reach out for help as they made the decision. Marriage therapists are often relational experts who know how to guide spouses toward a deeper connection or toward an amicable divorce.
There are no magic formulas or potions that can easily fix any relationship, but the marriage therapists at Thriveworks Concord have helped many spouses who were struggling.
Why Go to Marriage Therapy?
Marriage counseling is not a silver bullet, but there are significant ways it may help spouses. A few of the potential benefits of marriage therapy include…
- a neutral space for arguments. Healthy couples fight. It is normal to argue and disagree. Problems occur, however, when those arguments escalate. When couples remain on the same team, seeking to solve the problem or disagreement together, they often work through the issue and then move on. When spouses start attack each other instead of the problem, the issue has escalated. One minute, spouses can be discussing dinner plans, and the next minute, they are calling each other irresponsible or selfish or lazy. Has that ever happened within your marriage? If so, you are not alone. Escalation is normal, but not healthy. Marriage therapy is often the place where spouses can keep the tone neutral.
- increased awareness of patterns. Every relationship has a rhythm and pattern. Some of those patterns are healthy. Some are not. It is very difficult to gain an awareness of those patterns from within the marriage. Therapy is often a place where spouses gain perspective so that they can continue the healthy patterns and address the unhealthy patterns.
- a reasonable timeline for change. Personal and relational growth takes time. It is a process. Spouses need to recognize the part they have played in the relationship—both good and bad. Spouses need to hear each other’s perspective. They need to cast a new vision and practice new habits. Change can be two steps forward, one step backward—even when both spouses are motivated. And yet, there are changes that are particularly harmful to the relationship. Especially if safety is a concern, those issues need to be addressed soon rather than later if not immediately. Therapy is often the place where spouses see what changes need to be made and how to make them.
- advocacy for each spouse. A marriage is only as strong as each individual spouse is. Being in a relationship does not erase each individual’s thoughts, feelings, needs, responsibilities, preference, or desires. If one or both spouse’s individuality is being pushed aside, the marriage will likely suffer. Marriage therapy can also be personal therapy at times. Each spouse needs someone to represent their best interests, and marriage therapists often do just that. When each individual regains their unique voice within the relationship, the marriage often thrives.
Appointments for Marriage Therapy at Thriveworks Concord
If you and your spouse are considering marriage counseling, know that Thriveworks Concord has appointments available. There is no right reason to start therapy, but there is also no wrong reason. Just two the circumstances that have brought clients to Thriveworks Concord for marriage therapy include…
- There has been an affair. Cheating is often a crisis for a marriage, and many go to therapy as they sort out what is next for the relationship.
- You and your spouse fight all the time. Relational experts say that spouses need five positive interactions for every negative one. When that ratio is off, many spouses to go therapy to get back on track.
- You and your spouse never fight. Just as fire can destroy, so can ice. Never fighting or feeling apathy about a spouse can cause harm.
If you are ready to schedule therapy, Thriveworks Concord is ready to meet with you. When you call our office, you may have your first appointment within 24 hours. We accept many forms of insurance. We also offer evening and weekend sessions. Let’s get started.