In an interview with Redbook magazine in 2013, the singer Pink said of her successful marriage with Carey Hart, “We are couples-therapy people. We do it for maintenance, not problems. We fight nicer.” Fighting “nicer” is no small feat. It may mean that your children don’t have to listen to you yelling. It may mean that you can actually communicate your feelings and advance each other’s understanding, rather than having the same argument over and over again. It may mean that you use “I-statements,” declaring how you feel, instead of “you-statements,” which can come across as blaming and antagonistic. All couples have conflicts, but how they manage them can make a huge difference in the enduring success of a partnership.
Couples therapy and marriage counseling at Thriveworks in Boulder, CO can help ease some of the difficulties that arise in intimate relationships. Our licensed counselors and therapists are highly trained to help couples navigate stressors and hardship. They also offer services like premarital counseling, which can serve as a preventative measure for future communication problems in a marriage.
Relationship therapy at Thriveworks can encourage what’s going right in an intimate partnership, and help come up with solutions for what’s going wrong. You and your partner don’t need to wait until you’re in crisis to see an exceptional counselor who can help save you a lot of short- and long-term distress.
What Is the Ultimate Goal of Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling?
The ultimate goal of counseling for married couples and other intimate relationships depends on the individuals involved. Clients approach couples therapists at Thriveworks in Boulder, CO with all sorts of conscious and subconscious goals, including:
- I want to spend more quality time with my spouse.
- I want to get our spark back.
- I want to heal our relationship after an affair.
- I want to reconnect with my spouse so I don’t have an affair.
- I want my partner to be more emotionally available.
- I want to stop fighting all the time.
- I don’t want to have so much drama in my relationship.
- I want to show my kids what a healthy relationship looks like.
- I want to improve our sex life.
- I want my spouse to listen better.
- I want to feel appreciated.
Essentially, there’s no wrong reason to see a couples therapist. Every relationship is different, and when you put two complex, emotional, sensitive people under one roof, all sorts of issues can arise.
Can a Therapist Fix Our Marriage Problems?
You may initiate marriage counseling or couples therapy because you want help “fixing” your relationship, but whether or not you ultimately resolve your differences depends on your commitment levels and the work you’re willing to put in. That being said, couples counseling is usually brief (accomplished in fewer than 12 sessions) and solution-focused. Even problems that seem huge and formidable can be effectively tackled with a counselor. Symptoms of troubled marriages could be any of the following:
- You feel indifferent.
- You or your partner lies about finances.
- You’re keeping secrets from each other.
- You’ve stopped being physically intimate.
- Your communication is almost entirely negative.
- You keep having the same fight over and over.
- Someone has been unfaithful.
But sessions with a highly qualified and licensed therapist at Thriveworks may contain the answers that you and your spouse have been looking for.
Popular Therapeutic Methods You Might Try in Couples Therapy
Couples therapists and marriage counselors at Thriveworks in Boulder, CO boast a broad range of activities and techniques that can help their clients communicate, for example:
- Reflective listening, where you alternate talking and active listening
- Narrative therapy, where you retell and rewrite your stories to try to capture your essential experience
- The Gottman Method, where you build love maps
- Emotionally-focused couples therapy (EFCT), which focuses on emotional responses, repositioning, and interactions
- Positive psychology, which helps couples identify happy moments
Therapists know that what works for one couple may not work for another, so they’re always open to client feedback on the therapeutic process.
What Qualities Should We Look for in a Couples Therapist?
You don’t want to open up to just anybody about problems within your intimate relationship. Many couples face delicate or sensitive issues which require great trust in their mental health provider. You and your partner can ask the following questions as you choose the right couples therapist or marriage counselor at Thriveworks in Boulder, CO:
- Is the counselor licensed? (Mental health providers at Thriveworks are fully licensed.)
- Is the counselor experienced? (Providers at Thriveworks in Boulder, CO have many years of experience helping diverse couples find solutions.)
- Does the counselor offer online appointments? (Providers at Thriveworks can see you and your partner online at your convenience.)
- Is the counselor affordable? (Thriveworks sessions are usually covered by health insurance.)
- Can my partner and I agree on this counselor?
Find a Couples Therapist That You and Your Partner Will Both Love at Thriveworks in Boulder, CO
Thriveworks in Boulder, CO offers exceptional couples therapists and marriage counselors that you and your partner can both agree on. When you call our office, we can match you to a counselor immediately and you can often be seen in-person or online within 24-48 hours. As an added benefit, Thriveworks clients can reach their counselor by phone or email between sessions. Call today to start therapy with your loved one!