More than half of Americans are happy when plans get canceled. Is that a good thing?

Your friend texts to cancel dinner, and instead of disappointment, you feel your shoulders drop an inch. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. More than half of Americans (51%) say they feel happy or relieved, at least occasionally, when a friend cancels plans, according to Thriveworks’ 2026 Pulse on Mental Health Report, our third annual nationally representative survey of 2,000 U.S. adults, conducted by Wakefield Research in March 2026.

There’s a name for that flicker of relief: JOMO, or the joy of missing out. On the one hand, these stats seem to be a positive sign that Americans are experiencing less FOMO (fear of missing out) by learning to set boundaries and prioritize self-care instead of always being on the go. On the other hand, social connections are just as important for our mental health as down time.

“Self-care isn’t just staying at home with a face mask, watching a movie. It’s also engaging with other people and having those social interactions,” explains Hallie Kritsas, licensed mental health counselor at Thriveworks. Could this be a concerning sign that Americans are becoming more lonely?

To find out, we talked to three clinical experts about what might be driving the JOMO trend and how they help patients distinguish between a harmless self-care moment and a pattern of social isolation.

Why we love canceled plans

Jami Dumler, licensed clinical social worker and clinical programs director at Thriveworks, was not surprised to hear that most Americans enjoy when plans get canceled. She ties some of this back to the forced isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“Things shut down, we kind of had to pause some of our busyness and social life, and people adjusted to that. It felt good to have slower lives and not as much going on,” she says.

She also thinks the growing social media conversation around mental health has helped improve our awareness about social bandwidth. “Boundaries, social batteries, how you feel about your schedule—it’s been a lot more on people’s radar,” Dumler says. “People are doing a better job of setting some boundaries and shifting their expectations.”

This may explain why younger generations are noticeably more likely than older generations to experience JOMO: 61% of Gen Z respondents and 65% of Millennials compared with just 37% of Boomers.

Maddy Brener, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist at Thriveworks, wonders if the generational difference has more to do with stage of life, with younger generations hustling especially hard to establish themselves in their careers and pay their bills, making their free time extra precious.

Similarly, parents are more likely than non-parents to feel JOMO when plans get canceled. “We’re just exhausted,” Dr. Brener explains. For parents, a canceled outing can mean getting errands done in half the time, or choosing a slower day at home over managing a group of kids through a long, overstimulating event. “It’s nice to just be able to hang with my kids in a more chill way, and I think a lot of parents also feel that way,” she says.

Is JOMO harmless or a worrisome mental health trend?

Interestingly, our clinicians don’t see JOMO as an inherently positive or negative sign. Instead, it’s information worth digging into.

For instance, when a patient mentions to Dr. Brener that they were happy plans got canceled, she uses it as an opportunity to understand the why behind the JOMO.

“I hear happy, which we love, but what about it makes you happy?,” Dr. Brener asks. “Is the joy you’re experiencing about unhealthy relationships with the people you were supposed to get together with? Is it that you recognize that you really would benefit more in this moment from getting some extra sleep? Or eating a meal that is more aligned with what feels nutritious for you versus the types of pub food that you and your friends usually end up getting?”

This line of questioning can help you understand if your JOMO is driven by specific needs or priorities, or if it’s actually stemming from disconnection, depression, or anxiety.

Kritsas agrees, noting that there’s a difference between relief that stems from your values and relief that stems from anxiety or fear. For instance, a new mom staying home more because she wants to cherish time with her baby isn’t necessarily cause for concern. But staying home because she’s so worried about leaving the baby for a few hours might mean there’s something else going on.

If you’re consistently pleased with canceled plans, it could also mean that you’re being overambitious about the plans you’re saying yes to. It might be worth lowering the bar of what a social hangout has to look like, Dr. Brennar says, like simply catching up at a friend’s house or running errands together.

“Normalize spending time where you’re doing things that are more mundane with the people that you care about so that you don’t feel like it’s another thing on your plate,” she says.

How to make sure your JOMO isn’t a red flag

Outside of digging into the reason you’re happy when plans are canceled, there are a few other questions you can ask to make sure your JOMO isn’t veering into the territory of social avoidance:

• Are you rescheduling the plans? Getting a rain check on the calendar—even if it’s a lower-lift hang than originally planned—is a good sign, Dr. Brener says. On the hand, if you’re consistently letting plans fall through without picking them back up, that might mean you’re a little too comfortable avoiding social interactions (at least with this person).
• Is this the exception or the norm? Enjoying some unexpected time back is healthy, as long as it isn’t becoming a pattern of consistently pulling away from people. When someone is starting to withdraw a lot more socially than they used to, that can be cause for concern, Dr. Brener says.
• Are you scheduling actual self care? Feeling JOMO with frequency can be a sign that you’re overcommitting and overscheduling yourself. Dr. Brener likes to remind patients that not every free moment has to be filled on your calendar. She even encourages people to block time for self care like they would for a social engagement. “If someone is consistently saying yes and consistently not choosing themselves, you’re going to see burnout,” agrees Kritsas.

After all, it’s OK to find pleasure in the occasional canceled plan—or even do the canceling—when you simply don’t have the bandwidth. We’re all human and our social batteries are limited. For instance, Kritsas remembers one patient who, after a fulfilling social Saturday, chose to say no to some Sunday plans in order to rest and prep for the week ahead.

“She made a decision that was based upon what she wanted and what she needed,” Kritsas explains. “And that’s such a positive thing.”