“Why do I get overwhelmed so easily?” A therapist explains

You’re standing at your kitchen counter, staring at the dishes. Your phone keeps buzzing with work messages. Your kid needs help with homework. And suddenly, you feel it—that heavy, panicky sensation like you’re drowning in responsibilities that should feel manageable.

That’s overwhelm: when demand exceeds your capacity. And if you’re experiencing it constantly, you’re probably wondering, “Why do I get overwhelmed so easily?”

There are multiple answers. For many of my clients, internal and external factors are at play when they get easily overwhelmed. Therapy is a great space to unpack what’s going on and to prioritize habits and thought patterns that best serve you. There are also things you can do on your own to manage overwhelm in the moment.

Reasons you might get overwhelmed easily

Getting overwhelmed easily is usually a sign that one or more underlying factors are pushing you past your limit. Here are the most common culprits I see in my practice:

External and internal pressure to meet expectations

Let’s say you wake up feeling unwell, but when it comes time to call in sick to work you don’t, afraid that you’ll let your team down. Whether the need to be there comes from an internal belief or has been verbally communicated by a manager or coworkers, expectations and the “shoulds” in your life are perhaps the biggest reason you feel overwhelmed.

We live in a culture that often promotes tying our sense of self-worth to external factors. At work, in our families, and in other areas, we experience expectations or pressure to perform in a certain way. When these expectations pile up, it often manifests as burnout or feeling overwhelmed easily.

Unmanaged stress that’s shifted from motivating to paralyzing

Stress alone isn’t a bad thing—it’s how we grow and change. If an expecting parent is stressed about whether they’ll be a good parent, for example, that stress may motivate them to learn more about parenting.

But if that stress overwhelms you, it’s no longer a motivator for change or growth. Instead, it feels like you’ve hit a wall and becomes paralyzing. In the above example, an expectant parent with overwhelming stress may panic about their abilities instead of seeking out resources for their questions.

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)

Generalized anxiety disorder can also lead to chronic overwhelm. To be diagnosed with GAD, you must experience excessive worry and at least three of these symptoms more days than not for six months:

• Difficulty controlling worry
• Being easily fatigued
• Irritability
• Trouble sleeping
• Restlessness
• Difficulty concentrating
• Feeling wired or on edge

If overwhelm is lasting months and accompanied by the above symptoms, anxiety may be to blame.

Trauma and nervous system dysregulation

Trauma—whether from a single event or ongoing experiences—can leave your nervous system stuck in overdrive. When this happens, your brain’s threat-detection system becomes hypervigilant, interpreting everyday tasks (responding to an email, making dinner) as urgent threats. This keeps you in survival mode, which means you hit overwhelm much faster than someone whose nervous system isn’t dysregulated.

Living in survival mode means you feel exhausted or overwhelmed faster than usual. (Learning to recognize the signs of a dysregulated nervous system can help you understand what’s happening and how to start regulating it again.)

​​Chronic pain, fatigue, or hormonal imbalances

Chronic pain, fatigue, and hormone imbalances may also lead to getting overwhelmed easily, as they influence energy levels and overall mental well-being. A problem many of my clients face, however, is that physical factors and feeling chronically stressed or overwhelmed is a chicken-and-egg situation: It’s difficult to tell which came first and what’s causing what.

In fact, 60 to 80 percent of all primary care visits are motivated by some kind of stress-related complaints. Often, someone may think stomach pain means they have a gastrointestinal condition when in reality, they may very well be experiencing chronic overwhelm.

People-pleasing and overcommitting

The last really big factor is people-pleasing or feeling like you need to “do it all.” Many people who struggle with chronic overwhelm often say yes too much, often because they want others around them to be happy or feel like they “should” say yes.

When you overschedule yourself, you may feel overwhelmed, as it’s impossible to follow through on too many commitments and keep up with the “shoulds” other people or society place on you.

Signs you’re chronically overwhelmed

Chronic overwhelm is when overwhelm becomes your baseline for weeks or months. You’re not temporarily stressed; you’re stuck in a state where your nervous system is constantly activated, affecting how your brain functions and your body responds.

Over time, chronic overwhelm can actually change your brain’s structure and function. Research shows that prolonged stress may reduce activity in the prefrontal cortex (your decision-making center) while increasing activity in the amygdala (your threat-detection center). As a result, your brain becomes more reactive and less rational. You’re literally operating in a different mode than when you’re calm.

Chronic overwhelm isn’t just this idea of life being hard right in the moment; it’s your brain under significant distress. That distress can take many forms. Common signs I see in my practice include:

• Forgetting important information
• Increased indecision
• Irritability
• Canceling plans
• Isolating
• Numbing with distractions, like TV or scrolling on your phone for hours
• Difficulty falling or staying asleep

Chronic overwhelm can also impact physical health, with one study finding those who are chronically overwhelmed may experience:

• Increased blood pressure
• Higher heart rate
• Frequent headaches
• Chronic fatigue
• A higher risk of gastrointestinal symptoms, like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
• More incidents of the cold or the flu
• A higher risk of heart disease

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6 ways to cope when you get overwhelmed easily

There are a few tried-and-true tactics I teach my clients, many of which can be done quickly and from anywhere. Others may require time to work through, ideally in collaboration with a therapist.

1. Name your emotions to reduce their power.

When you feel overwhelmed, a good first step is to check in with yourself. One way to do that without getting trapped in an anxious thought spiral is to “name to tame”—literally naming what’s overwhelming you out loud, in your notes app, or even just in your head. For example: “I’m overwhelmed because I have three deadlines today, my partner’s out of town, and I didn’t sleep well.”

This simple act of labeling reduces amygdala activity, giving your brain something to do other than panic. By naming the specific emotions or stressors, you shift from reactive mode to a more rational, problem-solving state.

2. Triage your to-do list and prioritize recovery.

Triaging your to-do list is a very practical way to address overwhelm. Often, you think of to-dos in terms of what needs to be done this week or today. When you’re overwhelmed, trim that list to focus on right now instead. What’s the next thing that you can do to take one step forward? What can only you do, and what must happen today?

When there’s too much to do right now, I often use a simple decision matrix and recommend it to clients. The decision matrix comes from the business world, and it’s a good way to categorize tasks and see what’s really important.

Here’s how it works: Jot down everything that needs to get done and then assign each task to one of four categories:

• Urgent and important: Do right now or soon
• Urgent but not important: Delegate to someone else
• Not urgent but important: Delegate or decide on a time to do it later
• Not urgent and not important: Delete

Let’s say, for example, you need to finish a work project due tomorrow, pick up your kid from soccer practice, and put away a massive pile of laundry that’s been sitting on your bed all week. In a high-stress situation, all three can feel like emergencies. Using the matrix, we can see that the work project is urgent and important (do now), picking up your kid is urgent and important but could be delegated to your partner or another parent (delegate), and the laundry, while it’s bothering you, is not urgent and can wait until this weekend or whenever you have more capacity (decide on a time to do it later).

When you’re triaging and deleting tasks, remember that you’re allowed to do fewer things or to slow down when necessary for your mental health. It’s not a sign of failure; it’s a sign of triage.

3. Try box breathing to signal safety to your brain.

Box breathing is a really simple but helpful tool. You inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for four, exhale for four, pause for four, then repeat those steps.

Taking these slow, deep breaths increases the amount of oxygen going to your brain, which can decrease how much you panic. It’s also physically impossible for you to be in a life-or-death situation and to engage in deep breathing. When you’re able to do box breathing, it gives your brain irrefutable evidence that you’re safe, overpowering the overwhelm.

4. Use cold exposure to reset your nervous system.

When you expose your body to cold—through ice baths, cold showers, or even ice facials (dunking your face in ice water for 10 to 15 seconds)—it activates your parasympathetic nervous system, essentially hitting a reset button that brings you back to the present moment and out of panic mode.

5. Reduce decision fatigue by adding structure.

When you’re overwhelmed, even small decisions—what to eat, what to wear—can feel impossible. To reduce this decision fatigue, add structure to everyday tasks by automating or planning them in advance.

This might look like meal prepping on Sundays so you’re not figuring out dinner every night, auto-paying bills so you don’t have to remember due dates, or setting alarms to take medications or step away from your desk during the workday. The less mental energy you spend on routine decisions, the more capacity you have for what actually matters.

6. Work with a therapist to address the root causes.

For lack of a better term, dealing with chronic overwhelm can be overwhelming. One of the best ways to overcome it is to give a container to the chaos, which is where therapy can be especially valuable.

Working with a therapist lets you step outside of the panic and stress to ask the deeper questions like:

• Why do I say yes to everything?
• Who am I really trying to impress by staying late to work every single day?
• Where are these expectations coming from?

Being overwhelmed isn’t just being stressed. It’s this idea of chasing a sense of self-worth, and therapy helps to break that illusion. It reminds you that self-worth doesn’t need to be chased. You are enough just as you are.

The bottom line

Getting overwhelmed easily isn’t a personal failing. It’s often your mind or body asking for support. You don’t need to wait for “the right time” or hit rock bottom before making changes. Whether you start with box breathing when overwhelm hits or schedule your first therapy session, you can take action now.