Why do I feel sad when a celebrity dies, even though I didn’t know them?

First, let me put your mind at ease: Feeling sad when a celebrity dies is completely normal. You’re not weird for crying when an actor, athlete, or musician you’ve never met passes away.

Look at the collective grief over Robin Williams, Kobe Bryant, Chadwick Boseman, or Betty White. The sadness people felt was real and widespread—you weren’t alone in feeling it.

I experienced this myself when musicians I loved as a teenager died. For me, it hits hardest when they’re around my age—it makes mortality feel suddenly real. Someone who seemed untouchable is gone. And if it can happen to them…

It’s human nature to be moved by other people’s stories and sad when they die. Let’s talk about what’s really happening when we grieve someone we never actually knew.

The Psychology Behind Parasocial Grief

What you’re experiencing is called parasocial grief, mourning someone you had a one-sided emotional connection with. And this isn’t weird or pathetic; parasocial relationships are normal and actually beneficial.

These one-way connections can boost our sense of community and well-being, help us explore our identity, and even reduce prejudice and stigma. We form these attachments to both real celebrities and fictional characters. Research shows that even thinking about shows or celebrities we love can support our self-esteem, improve our mood, and buffer against loneliness.

We seek these connections for the same reason we seek any relationship: the basic human need for belonging. If we have an emotional need that’s not being met, we might turn to a celebrity or influencer, and this relationship can provide support and validation similar to a two-sided relationship. What’s interesting is that parasocial relationships don’t replace real friendships; they supplement them. We can pull them in when we need them.

What Celebrity Deaths Really Represent to Us

When a celebrity dies, we’re often mourning much more than just that person. We’re grieving what they represented and the memories tied to them. Here’s what’s really going on:

Celebrities represent a specific time in your life.

Their music, movies, or causes might touch you personally during a formative period. You might latch onto that celebrity as the face of your adolescence or a personal struggle. When they pass away, you’re taken back to that time. It can feel as if something personal and meaningful has been taken away from you.

They feel more real than ever.

Thanks to social media, celebrities aren’t distant figures we only see in interviews anymore. We watch their Instagram stories, see behind-the-scenes content—almost like watching someone’s home movies. This creates an intimacy that previous generations never experienced with public figures.

They mirror our own struggles.

Celebrities can feel untouchable, but they’re human just like us. Thanks (again) to social media, we’re more aware of their battles with addiction, mental health issues, or other challenges. Their openness can be relatable, comforting, and provide hope that you can get through similar challenges. But if they pass away from those same struggles, that hope can feel like it’s taken with them. You end up mourning both the person and what they inspired you to believe.

You enjoyed their work.

Sometimes there’s not a deep meaning behind our sadness. Maybe they made a movie that always made you laugh, or you loved a character they played. That joy was real, even if the relationship wasn’t mutual.

Collective grief brings us together.

Participating in collective mourning can be comforting. You’re grieving and celebrating their life together with others. This is what we do at funerals—we share stories that recount the life they had. Why wouldn’t we do that with someone who made an impact on our life, even if we didn’t know them personally?

When This Grief Feels Too Heavy

A celebrity death can feel similar to losing anyone close to you. You may think it’s silly to feel this way, but it’s not.

Sometimes we need help moving through grief. Death can stir up complicated feelings. I especially worry when a celebrity’s death is related to their mental health—there may be thoughts like “If they couldn’t make it, how can I?”

I encourage people to talk to someone about extreme sadness or any thoughts of self-harm. Support is important, whether from a friend, family member, or therapist.

Remember that your grief is valid. Grief comes in waves: Feelings will peak and then settle. This is the natural progression of the grieving process.

What This Says About Human Connection

It’s OK to feel sad about someone you cared about passing away. That’s empathy at its core.

I encourage you to reflect on why that person was so impactful in your life. What did they represent? How did they inspire you? Just because they’re gone, the way they inspired you doesn’t have to die with them.