Q: My ex girlfriend and I were kind of dating and then she met someone else that she started having feelings for. She told me this morning that she wants to pursue things with him. I am feeling very sad, desperate and don’t know what to do. I also just lost my job. I’ve been crying a lot and just feel very lost.
A: We’re so sorry to hear that happened and that you’re feeling so down. We’re glad that you reached out because it can be so hard to go through challenges like these on your own. Here are some thoughts for you to consider.
Firstly, if you’re currently working with a therapist, you will want to explore your feelings in counseling, and maybe even consider having more than one session per week as you navigate this difficult time.
Secondly, it’s normal to feel sad and even lost, because you’re experiencing two “losses” essentially — the loss of a relationship and your job. Expressing your emotions in healthy ways like talking to a friend or someone you trust, journaling, or listening to music can be helpful.
Lastly, surround yourself with a good support structure. Call friends or family and let them know you need a little more support at this time. You might even want to tell them what you need specifically, like, “Can you come over and watch a movie with me?” or, “I just don’t want to be alone right now, but I don’t necessarily feel like talking about it.”
We hope these ideas are helpful.
Emily Simonian, LMFT, M.A.