Healthy coping mechanisms: A therapist-backed guide to doing it right

What Does It Mean to Cope?

Coping is the process of managing and adapting to stress, challenges, or difficult emotions in our daily lives. It’s how we deal with problems, whether they’re big or small, temporary or ongoing.

Coping mechanisms are the specific strategies people use during this process to manage stress, trauma, and difficult emotions while maintaining their emotional well-being and ability to function. These strategies can be learned consciously or develop subconsciously as the mind’s way of protecting itself during stressful times.

It’s important to distinguish between positive and negative coping strategies. “While both types of coping mechanisms may help you feel better in the moment, unhealthy coping mechanisms come with long-term consequences and often make things worse over time,” says Jami Dumler, a licensed clinical social worker at Thriveworks. “Often, unhealthy coping mechanisms involve escape, avoidance, ‘all-or-nothing,’ and impulsive-type behaviors.”

Unhealthy coping mechanisms often serve as band-aids, providing temporary relief without addressing the root problem. Even though both types seek to reduce negative emotions, only positive coping strategies guide us toward long-term well-being.

Examples of unhealthy coping mechanisms include:

• Oversleeping
• Impulsive shopping
• Self-shaming
• Stonewalling
• Social withdrawal and isolation
• Avoidant behavior (ignoring problems or bad habits)
• Trauma dumping
• Lashing out physically or verbally
• Destroying objects or property
• Substance and alcohol use

These unhealthy patterns often develop unconsciously. Sometimes we aren’t fully aware of their effects until we gain insight from a mental health provider or as we mature and develop greater self-awareness.

What Are Positive Coping Strategies?

Positive coping strategies help us productively respond to life’s challenges while improving long-term well-being. They are sustainable, constructive, and aligned with personal values.

“For example, a healthy coping mechanism may look like breathing techniques to lower heart rate or mindfulness practice as a healthy way to manage varying types of anxiety,” says Caitlin Opland, a licensed clinical social worker at Thriveworks. “Essentially, they are additive to a person’s routine and decrease stress in both the short and long term.”

Positive coping skills help us respond to:

• Difficult situations, environments, or people at work, home, or in public
• Symptoms of mental health conditions like anxiety or depression
• Unconscious habits creating negative outcomes
• Challenges and setbacks while working toward goals

These strategies are core components of therapeutic methods like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), as well as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and mindfulness-based cognitive behavioral therapy (MB-CBT).

What Are the 5 Types of Coping Mechanisms?

Coping mechanisms are often broken down into the following five distinct categories:

These five types of coping strategies are the basis for most healthy coping techniques.

4 Examples of Healthy Coping Strategies Backed by Therapists

The most effective coping strategies are those that match your personality, unique needs, and specific life situations. Here are four examples of healthy coping strategies:

Exercise: Move Your Body to Support Your Mind

Exercise releases physical tension while clearing your head and improving overall health. “It’s useful for many things, including stress relief, mood regulation, and increasing energy,” Opland says. “Exercise releases feel-good endorphins, improves sleep, reduces physiological tension, and has been proven to help fend off the effects of many mental and physical health conditions.”

You don’t have to do high-intensity workouts to see benefits. Research shows just 30 minutes of moderate exercise three to five times a week is enough to see mental health benefits —and that can even be broken down into two 15-minute or three 10-minute sessions if that fits your schedule better.

Examples of moderate exercise options include:

• Brisk walking (aim for 2+ miles)
• Swimming
• Cycling
• Dancing
• Gardening
• Yoga or stretching

Journaling: Process Emotions Through Writing

Journaling can be a cathartic and insightful coping skill, as it allows you to empty thoughts swirling in your head. Caitlin Opland tells us that journaling can be “used for processing emotions, clarifying thoughts, and identifying patterns. Writing helps externalize worries, organize thinking, and increase self-awareness, making emotions feel more manageable.”

“The act of writing helps your brain process thoughts more clearly, shift out of rumination, and find a clearer path forward,” Dumler adds.

Whether you focus on reflection, gratitude, mindfulness, or just your day-to-day life in your journaling, writing your thoughts and emotions can make them easier to process, making connections and patterns clearer.

Connecting with Others: Build Your Support Network

“Seeking social connection with positive people in your network can help with feelings of loneliness and shame,” Dumler says. “It also provides a sense of comfort, belonging, validation, and joy when we need it most.”

Talking through difficult emotions with a loved one is an excellent way to vent, problem-solve, and receive support. “Chatting with loved ones is a quick way to help our brains verbally process and contextualize stressors,” says Alex Cromer, a licensed professional counselor at Thriveworks.

The key is choosing trustworthy people who respect your boundaries. “In some conversations, you might want feedback, and in others, you might just want to be heard,” Cromer notes. Setting clear boundaries around what you discuss and when ensures both you and your support network feel cared for without becoming overwhelmed.

Grounding Exercises: Anchor Yourself in the Present

“Whether they’re used for managing anxiety, panic, dissociation, or other forms of stress, grounding techniques anchor attention in the present moment, which can interrupt spiraling thoughts and calm the nervous system,” Opland says.

Here are simple grounding exercises you can use anywhere, anytime:

1. Meditation

This mind-stilling practice helps identify harmful thoughts, work through difficult emotions, and increase self-awareness while improving mental clarity.

2. Thought Replacement

Also known as cognitive reframing or restructuring, this is a CBT tool that works to identify unhelpful thoughts and emotional patterns and replace them with more helpful, positive thought patterns. This helps prevent difficult emotions like anger, fear, or anxiety from building by redirecting the thoughts that cause them.

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This involves systematically tensing and releasing muscle groups to release physical stress and tension that builds up in the body. Start with your toes, tense them for five seconds, then release. Move up through your legs, abdomen, arms, and face, tensing each area for five seconds before letting go.

4. Deep Breathing

This involves breathing slowly and deliberately—in through your mouth, out through your nose—with specific timing for each breath.

“Deep breathing is a quick, adaptive way to reduce anxiety, depression, burnout, and anger/irritability,” Cromer says. “Breathing out through our nose activates our parasympathetic nervous system, the one responsible for rest and relaxation.”

Popular techniques include box breathing, 4-7-8 breathing, and diaphragmatic breathing.

5. Cold Exposure

Cold sensations can be extremely effective in redirecting stress and anxiety. “Touching ice or ice cold water is a great way to regulate our emotional experience with minimal to no brain power required,” Cromer says “You can take a cold shower, hold an ice cube in your hand, or dunk your face in a bowl of ice water. It’s a very versatile tool.”

Cold exposure works by activating your body’s natural calming response, quickly shifting you out of fight-or-flight mode.

Can Healthy Coping Mechanisms Replace Therapy?

While healthy coping mechanisms are essential for well-being, they’re not a replacement for professional therapy. “Coping skills work best when paired with therapy, just as exercise works best alongside medical care for physical health,” Opland says. “Therapy offers professional guidance, deeper insight, and evidence-based interventions tailored to your specific needs.”

This is especially true for persistent mental health symptoms, trauma, or deeply rooted patterns. If you’re unsure what level of support you need, Dumler recommends seeking professional guidance: “It’s often the most courageous and beneficial act of self-love we can take.”

The Bottom Line

Healthy coping mechanisms aren’t just feel-good strategies—they’re essential tools for navigating life’s inevitable challenges. The key is finding techniques that work for your personality and situation, then practicing them before you’re in crisis mode.

Remember, coping skills work best when combined with professional support. Start with one or two strategies from this guide, give them time to become habits, and don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist when you need additional guidance.

Frequently Asked Questions About Healthy Coping Mechanisms

What’s the difference between healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms?

Healthy coping mechanisms provide long-term benefits and align with your values, while unhealthy ones offer only temporary relief and often create additional problems over time.

How do I know if my coping mechanisms are healthy?

Ask yourself: Do they help me long-term? Are they sustainable? Do they align with my values? Healthy coping strategies improve your well-being over time rather than just masking problems.

Can I use these strategies instead of therapy?

While coping strategies are valuable tools, they work best when combined with professional therapy—especially for persistent mental health symptoms or trauma.