How to get out of bed when depressed: Therapist-backed steps

Why depression makes it so hard to get out of bed

Depression physically changes how your brain and body function, making the simple act of getting out of bed genuinely difficult. It has nothing to do with willpower or laziness. Depression is a serious mental health condition that can last for weeks, months, or even years, impacting how you feel emotionally and physically, how you think, and how you act.

Here’s what’s happening in your brain and body:

Depression depletes your physical energy reserves.

Fatigue and lack of energy are hallmark symptoms of depression. This isn’t the tired feeling you get after a long day, but it’s a deep, persistent exhaustion that doesn’t improve with rest, which makes even basic movements feel like they require tremendous effort.

Sleep becomes both harder to get and less restorative.

Three out of four people with depression struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep, likely due to depression’s emotional disruption or changed habits, like less movement during the day or increase substance use. “Sleep is compromised when someone is depressed, so the physical body is running on borrowed time and energy,” explains Shanni Liang, LCSW, a licensed therapist in New York. Even when you do sleep, depression can prevent you from reaching the deeper, restorative stages that actually refresh your body and mind.

Your brain struggles to make even tiny decisions.

Getting out of bed requires dozens of micro-decisions: open your eyes, turn off the alarm, move your legs, sit up, stand. Depression impairs your prefrontal cortex—the brain region responsible for decision-making and executive function—which is why many people describe depression as trying to think through fog.

“Getting out of bed is actually a series of very small choices,” says Kate Hanselman, a psychiatric nurse practitioner at Thriveworks. “We have to wake up, then we have to sit up, and then we’ll put our feet on the ground. Depression’s fogginess can make that really hard.”

Everything waiting outside your bedroom feels overwhelming.

“Depression can make next steps look really threatening,” Hanselman says. If you didn’t clean up the kitchen last night, those dirty dishes may feel even more intimidating in the morning, providing ample reason to stay where you are.

The reasons you used to get up stop mattering.

Depression leads to anhedonia, a loss of interest or pleasure in activities that used to bring you joy. This takes away the “why” behind getting up. The morning coffee you used to look forward to, the work project that excited you, the plans with friends—depression strips away their appeal, leaving you without motivation to start your day.

Small, realistic steps to help you get out of bed (when you're ready)

The strategies below work best when you pick one or two that feel doable today—not all nine at once. Read through them and choose what feels manageable right now.

1. Confirm you’re getting eight+ hours of actual sleep.

“For people with depression, sleep is an absolute must for mental health, not a luxury you can afford to lose,” Liang says. Before working on getting out of bed earlier, make sure you’re actually getting enough sleep.

Time spent in bed doesn’t equal sleep. Hanselman recommends checking:

• What time did you actually fall asleep?
• When did you wake up?
• How many hours did you sleep?

If you’re getting eight to ten hours of actual sleep, you can focus on the other strategies. If you’re getting less than eight hours, you may need to look at your bedtime routine or consider sleep therapy before tackling the morning.

2. Get two minutes of daylight and movement (yes, two minutes).

Your brain needs contrast to function: activity during the day, rest at night. Without movement and daylight, your internal clock can’t tell when it’s time to wake up or wind down. “Getting sunlight on your face and moving your body, even if it is just a slow walk around the block, can help,” Hanselman says. “Our brains don’t know to sleep and rest unless they have been active during the day.”

You don’t need a full workout. Set a timer for two minutes and walk to the end of your driveway. Those two minutes give your brain the signal it needs to regulate your sleep-wake cycle and can help reduce the depressive fog.

3. Create external accountability that requires leaving your room.

When the internal motivation to get out of bed disappears, external accountability can fill that gap. This could be meeting a friend at a coffee shop near your house, committing to an early work meeting, or scheduling a therapy appointment.

“Sometimes I tell my clients to make it to a therapy appointment,” Liang says. “Even being five minutes late to a session is a small win because it requires my clients to get out of bed, get dressed, get ready, and travel to see me.” If making plans with friends feels overwhelming or you’re afraid you might cancel, a therapy appointment provides built-in accountability with a professional who understands what you’re going through.

4. Put your phone in another room overnight.

For many of Hanselman’s clients, doomscrolling keeps them in bed. The urge to check your phone can be powerfully motivating, so use that to your advantage. Put your phone in the kitchen or living room while you sleep, forcing yourself to physically get up to check notifications in the morning.

If your phone doubles as your alarm clock, switch to an analog one. Bonus points if you place that alarm clock across the room so you physically have to get out of bed to turn it off.

5. Drink enough water before bed that your bladder forces you up.

This sounds almost too simple, but Liang has seen it work repeatedly with her clients: Drink two large glasses of water an hour before bed. Your bladder will eventually force the issue. “Once you get up, don’t let yourself go back to bed,” Liang says. Even if you just move to your couch instead of getting fully ready for the day, you’ve succeeded in getting out of bed.

6. Let morning light hit your face (even through closed eyelids).

“Any signals you can get that tell your brain it’s morning are going to be helpful,” Hanselman explains. She often recommends clients open the curtains, even slightly, to let sunlight in. Natural light exposure helps regulate your circadian rhythm and signals to your brain that it’s time to wake up.

“There are even automatic things that will go on your curtain rod and can open your curtains for you in the morning,” Hanselman says. “They literally push the curtains open so that you can get some sun right away.”

7. Tell one person you’re struggling and what specific help looks like.

“Let your friends and family know you’re struggling,” Liang says. Your loved ones care about you and want to help, but they may not know how without guidance from you.

Be specific about what help would look like: “Can you text me at 10 a.m. to check if I’m up?” or “Would you knock on my door at noon if I’m not in the kitchen yet?” If you’re trying to wake up before noon, for example, you could have a friend call you at that time or ask a roommate to come check on you if you’re not already up.

8. Make one small change, not an entire routine.

The depressed brain looks for evidence that things aren’t going right and that you’re “failing” (which is absolutely not true). Whenever you set an ambitious goal you can’t achieve, you’re giving depression more ammunition. Instead, choose one to three small things you can actually accomplish.

“Set realistic, bite-sized goals that are even smaller than you think they need to be,” Hanselman advises. If you try to open the curtains by 9 a.m., have a family member wake you up, and go for a run, there’s a higher chance you’ll fall short of at least one goal. Instead, set a goal to just open the curtains tomorrow and see if that helps. Success—even small success—provides counter-evidence to depression’s negative self-talk and reinforces confidence in yourself.

9. Track small wins depression wants you to ignore.

Depression is remarkably good at finding faults while ignoring your progress. Combat this by actively appreciating what you’re doing well, even if the wins seem small. “Even remembering to eat, take your medication, do 15 minutes of exercise, or texting a friend back is an example of a small win,” Liang says.

Consider listing wins in your phone’s notes app and creating a small reward when you hit 10. You can also bring up your wins in your next therapy appointment to celebrate together.

When professional support can help

“If you’re so depressed that you’re having a hard time getting out of bed, come talk about your options,” Hanselman says. A therapist provides external structure and accountability when your internal motivation has disappeared. They’ll help you identify what’s contributing to your depression, recommend treatment options, and build back functionality in increments small enough to actually achieve.

“Building back functionality and routine needs external help,” Hanselman says. At first, that new routine might look like getting out of bed by 1 p.m., eating something, and then playing guitar. Over time, you and your therapist can build up that routine and uncover reasons to want to get out of bed.

You can also look at your schedule. If you used to have a consistent routine—work at 8 a.m., lunch at noon, finish by 5 or 6 p.m.—but now your days have no structure, that’s another sign to seek help. A therapist can help you establish manageable goals and rebuild the routine that depression has dismantled.