Explore next steps to improve your mental health. 
Picture a jar full of marbles: Each marble represents a difficult feeling or emotion—grief, anger, or guilt, to name a few. Now, imagine the last person who upset or hurt you: They knock the jar over, the glass shatters, and the marbles spill out all over the floor. They quickly roll away in every direction, in a chaotic swirl of colors, and it feels impossible to scoop them all up.
That’s one way to think about emotional flooding. It’s as if the floodgates holding back your worst feelings open all at once, and you can’t control the surge, says Natalia Piszczek, a licensed professional counselor at Thriveworks.
But why does this profuse reaction happen in the first place? And when does it signal a greater issue with your mental health? In this article, we asked experts to break down the causes of emotional flooding, its symptoms, and the coping strategies that can help you feel more in control—both in the moment and for the long haul.
What Is Emotional Flooding?
Emotional flooding happens when intense emotions overwhelm you so suddenly and powerfully that normal functioning becomes difficult or impossible. During these episodes, you become so consumed and disoriented by what you’re feeling that clear thinking, staying calm, or behaving rationally feels out of reach, Piszczek explains. The response varies from person to person—some people may react impulsively or explosively, while others shut down completely and go silent.
The physical experience of emotional flooding often mirrors panic attack symptoms, including sweating, difficulty breathing, and rapid heart rate, says Alexandra Cromer, a licensed professional counselor and lead clinician at Thriveworks.
While high-stress situations can trigger emotional flooding in anyone, mental health experts observe it’s more common in people already managing anxiety, burnout, or unresolved trauma. “Recognizing when this is happening is the first step to managing it,” Piszczek says. “It helps you take a step back, breathe, and give yourself time to regain control over your emotions.”
Examples of Emotional Flooding
Emotional flooding is unique to each person: What the response looks and feels like depends on the emotions you’re dealing with, the type of environment you’re in, and who or what is triggering you. Here are a few ways emotional flooding can show up in your everyday life:
1. After Loss
“As a grief therapist, I often see clients who have an emotional flooding experience when they see someone who resembles a deceased loved one,” says Gina Moffa, LCSW, a psychotherapist in New York City and author of “Moving on Doesn’t Mean Letting Go.” You may be so shocked and saddened by their likeness that your heart starts to pound, your face flushes, and the tears flow.
The challenging part? You’ll probably have a hard time explaining what, exactly, you’re feeling until your body calms down, Moffa says.
2. During Conflict
When you’re arguing with someone you care about and they say something hurtful, a mix of emotions—anger, betrayal, confusion, fear—can rush in all at once, Piszczek explains. Then your mind starts to race, spiraling into negative thoughts like, “They don’t believe the reason why I’m upset,” or “They don’t love me.”
You may stumble over your words or freeze up because you’re having a hard time expressing what’s happening in your head. “This can make it difficult to address the argument in a calm, thoughtful way, and you might end up saying or doing things you regret,” Piszczek says.
3. At Work
These days, a lot of communication at work happens online, so you often need to read the tone of a colleague’s writing versus having an in-person conversation. Say your boss sends you an email, but you can’t gauge from their message whether they’re upset with you. So you read the email over and over again, feeling increasingly anxious about what it could mean. You sweat and feel jittery, wondering if you’re in for a stern conversation about your performance; your mind churns with self-critical thoughts like, “I didn’t deserve this job anyway.” You feel stuck in your chair, with an hour passing before you can complete another task. (Meanwhile, your boss was not actually upset with you.)
Signs You’re Emotionally Flooded
Recognizing emotional flooding symptoms is the first step to managing them, Piszczek says. It helps you understand if this is happening often enough to impact your life and gives you a chance to take back control of your emotions. Here’s what to watch for:
Mental and Emotional Signs
- Feeling overwhelmed by your emotions
- Having trouble focusing or concentrating
- Difficulty communicating clearly
- Racing thoughts or mental fog
- Irritability or quick anger
- Lashing out at others, which you later regret
- Feeling “zoned out” or disconnected from the moment
- Shutting down emotionally or going completely silent
Physical Signs
- Racing or pounding heartbeat
- Shallow, rapid, or difficult breathing
- Tightness in your chest and shoulders
- Feeling flushed or overheated
- Sweating, trembling, or shaking
- Nausea or stomach upset
- Sudden, uncontrollable crying
- Feeling frozen or unable to move
What Causes Emotional Flooding?
The most common causes of emotional flooding stem from stress and anxiety, including relationship troubles, burnout, and past trauma. When you don’t have a handle on your stress or anxiety, your nervous system stays in a state of high alert due to stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This leaves your body primed to react intensely; It’s your system’s way of trying to protect you from situations it perceives as threatening. Here’s how that can play out:
Relationship Conflicts
Emotional flooding in relationships feels especially painful because the closer you are to your partner, the more vulnerable you become during arguments. The stakes simply feel higher in an intimate partnership because you’ve built a sense of safety with this person.
“When we have a conflict with someone we want to keep in our lives, our brain can process it as a threat,” Cromer says. Even a small disagreement can bring up intense emotions, Piszczek adds.
It can seem like these big feelings came out of nowhere. What started as a simple conversation about splitting up household chores, for example, can end with one person crying about feeling unappreciated while the other is confused by how the discussion escalated so quickly.
If a moment with your partner feels similar to a past painful experience, your body can react as if the threat is happening all over again, undermining your trust and sense of security, Moffa explains. You may feel angry, fearful, insecure, or betrayed all at once—and when you’re overwhelmed by all those emotions, it’s easy to say or do things you wish you hadn’t.
Chronic Stress and Burnout
Chronic stress and burnout lower your ability to regulate your emotions—in other words, keep a level head—because so much of your mental and physical energy is already used up, making you more prone to emotional flooding, Cromer explains. Burnout feels like you’re getting through each day running on empty, and you only need to hit one small bump to completely crash.
So if you’ve had back-to-back weeks of tight deadlines at work, something minor like your colleague misplacing a document you need can trigger a “strong emotional reaction, like frustration or anger, that feels way bigger than the situation calls for,” Piszczek says. “When you’re constantly stressed or feeling burned out, even small problems can feel like too much.”
Trauma
Emotional flooding goes hand in hand with trauma, whether or not you’ve been formally diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). When you experience thoughts and memories tied to a past traumatic event—especially without warning—they can easily trigger a strong surge of fear, panic, anger, or other difficult emotions, as if the trauma were happening right now. Similar to chronic stress and burnout, trauma can keep you in a heightened state of anxiety, Cromer notes, “so it’s much easier to hit a breaking point.”
For example, if you’ve been emotionally abused by a parent or partner, you may feel a wave of anxiety or panic when someone raises their voice, even if it’s not directed at you. “The emotions aren’t in response to the present moment, but are instead tied to past trauma,” Piszczek says.
ADHD
Two key symptoms of emotional flooding—difficulty with emotional regulation and impulsivity—are also hallmark signs of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD. At its core, ADHD disrupts sensory processing, meaning people with the condition can struggle to pause and fully process what’s happening before reacting to a situation. This may lead to sudden emotional outbursts, Piszczek says.
The Consequences of Emotional Flooding
We all feel consumed by anger or sadness from time to time. Emotional flooding becomes a bigger problem for your mental health when it happens frequently enough to hurt your relationships, worsen anxiety or depression, or make your everyday life more challenging.
Impact on Relationships
When it comes to relationships, you may start to avoid certain people or social situations out of fear of being triggered, which can be incredibly isolating. “Frequently being flooded with emotion can give anticipatory anxiety about being flooded again,” Moffa explains. When you don’t feel like you have control over your emotions, you may pull back from others out of fear that you won’t be able to calm down if you become overwhelmed.
Damage to Self-Esteem
Emotional flooding can also damage your self-esteem. “A lot of people say they feel like emotional flooding makes them weak, like they aren’t ‘strong’ enough to overcome the stressor,” Cromer says. “It is very hard hitting on our relationship with ourselves.”
Creating a Cycle of Stress
While chronic stress can lead to emotional flooding, the opposite is also true: frequent flooding episodes can create ongoing chronic stress, potentially leading to panic disorder, major depression, or other mental health conditions. Your physical health pays the price too, Moffa explains. Carrying too much stress for too long can disrupt your sleep, weaken your immune system, trigger aches and pains, and even raise your risk of health conditions like heart disease.
How to Cope with Emotional Flooding
Experts recommend two types of coping skills for emotional flooding: in-the-moment strategies that help you calm down quickly, and longer-term strategies that help prevent it from happening too often. Here are proven techniques to get you started:
In-the-Moment Strategies
1. Ground yourself with the 5-4-3-2-1 technique.
When flooding hits, use this grounding exercise to snap back to reality: Identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
2. Take slow, deep breaths.
You don’t need to overcomplicate this to feel better. “It can be as simple as recognizing and naming it when it’s happening,” Moffa says. When symptoms strike, pause and tell yourself, “I am experiencing emotional flooding and I need to take some deep breaths.” If you can step away from the situation to breathe for a couple of minutes, even better.
3. Use cold to reset your system.
Splash your face with cold water, sip an icy drink, hold an ice cube, or take a cold shower, Cromer recommends. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which slows your heart rate and blood pressure to bring your body back to calm.
4. Practice positive self-talk.
“The safer you can feel in your body, the shorter your emotional flooding experiences will be,” Moffa says. Try phrases like: “This is a difficult moment, but I am safe and this will pass,” or “I can get through this because I am in control of my emotions.”
Long-Term Prevention Strategies
1. Take care of your basic needs.
Nothing groundbreaking here, but that’s because it really works. Regular exercise, nutritious eating, and quality sleep give your body the foundation it needs to handle stress more easily.
2. Be just a little more mindful.
Embracing hobbies that help you stay present, like doing yoga before bed or taking a daily walk in nature, “helps you become more aware of your emotional patterns, so you can anticipate and manage them before they escalate,” Piszczek says. You’ll become more resilient against stress, too.
3. Connect with a therapist.
A licensed mental health professional can help you identify what triggers your emotional flooding in the first place, Cromer says. They’ll explore your past experiences and help you recognize patterns, so you can catch these moments early and respond rather than react. If you need help finding a therapist that meets your needs or just aren’t sure where to begin, we’re here for you. Browse providers online or call us at (571) 554-1147.
Emotional Flooding: The Bottom Line
Emotional flooding can feel overwhelming and endless, but it doesn’t have to control your life. Mental health professionals understand this experience well, Cromer says, and they have proven tools that can help you manage it effectively. “There is a way out,” she emphasizes.
Moffa agrees: Emotional flooding can actually teach you important things about what’s happening in your life. Understanding your triggers is key to feeling better and taking back control of your emotions.
