Caring for children’s mental health: What parents should know in 2025

What Is Children’s Mental Health?

Children’s mental health encompasses their emotional, psychological, and social well-being—just like adults. But there’s one critical difference: Children are heavily dependent on the adults in their lives to maintain, manage, and improve their mental health.

The majority of mental health disorders begin in childhood, often by the age of 14, and today, over 25 percent of youth ages 3-17 struggle with a mental health disorder. When these issues are recognized early and children receive the support they need—from parents, caregivers, teachers, school counselors, and coaches—they can reach their full potential.

However, when parents or guardians don’t have the knowledge or experience to guide them, these heightened emotions can quickly manifest in behavioral problems, as well as social and academic struggles.

How Is Managing Mental Health Different for Adults and Children?

The key difference comes down to control and capacity: Children have far less control over their environments and are still developing the emotional regulation skills that adults already have. This means children need adults to step in and help them manage their mental health in ways adults can often handle on their own.

Here’s what that looks like in practice:

Environmental Factors

To achieve well-being, people of all ages require a positive quality of life, social connections, and the ability to maintain a baseline level of functioning despite the normal pressures of life—a challenging but doable prospect. Children have far less control over their environments, activities, and exposures, which means effective management and healing will require intervention from an adult.

If an adult is struggling with their mental health, many of them can choose to take a day off of work, engage in self-care practices, participate in activities that will help them (or, alternatively, opt out of ones that feel unhelpful), and seek help from a mental health professional.

Kids, in most cases, don’t have the tools, knowledge, or resources to handle these things themselves—they need an adult to intervene.

Emotional Regulation

Adults have a fully fledged ability to regulate their emotions, something that kids are very much learning and growing into. This skill develops the older they get, but for the majority of childhood, emotions can feel volatile and unwieldy, especially when dealing with mental health issues that exacerbate them. Without any tools to bring them back down, kids have to depend on their own guardians and close adults to help them regulate their emotions until they can do it themselves.

“Children can only be as calm as the calmest adult in the room, and that takes practice,” says Jami Dumler, a licensed clinical social worker at Thriveworks. “If you need a moment to regulate, it’s OK to say something like, ‘Mommy is having big feelings right now, and that’s OK. I’m going to take a moment to calm down, then I’ll be right back to help you.’ Modeling this helps your child see emotional regulation in action.”

“Children can only be as calm as the calmest adult in the room, and that takes practice.”

What Are the Most Common Mental Health Issues in Children?

According to the CDC, the most common mental health issues diagnosed in US children ages 3-17 are:

• ADHD (affecting approximately 9.8% of children)
• Anxiety (9.4%)
• Behavioral/conduct issues (8.4%)
• Depression (4.4%)

Children also experience the following conditions:

• Autism spectrum disorder (ASD)
• Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD)
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Eating disorders
• Bipolar disorder (manic depression)
• Tourette syndrome

It’s important to keep in mind that mental health is not simply the absence of a mental disorder. Children can struggle with their mental health in many ways, some more obvious than others.

“It’s very common for children to experience challenges with anxiety, impulse control, grief or sadness, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorders, and emotional or behavioral outbursts,” Dumler says. “Trauma-related disorders, eating disorders, and moderate to high-functioning autism spectrum disorders can also occur and might fly under the radar. Due to their subtle symptoms and childhood’s dynamic growth, the indicative behaviors might blend into typical childhood development, making them easy to overlook.”

Physical symptoms are often missed. Taylor Hiers, a licensed professional counselor at Thriveworks, tells us that emotional distress frequently shows up in the body. “A child who seems angry or defiant might actually be sad. A child who can’t focus may be pacing around the room or bouncing in their seat. An anxious child may sit shaking their leg or biting their fingers. Some kids often feel their distress through physical symptoms, like headaches or stomachaches. Children often don’t yet have the words to describe what they’re feeling.”

Because of this, it’s important that children are screened for trauma, toxic stress, and mental health and developmental conditions like anxiety, depression, autism, and ADHD to make sure they’re consistently getting the help and support they need at every stage.

How Do I Know If My Child Has Mental Health Issues?

Watch for behavioral changes that last longer than a few weeks and interfere with school or home life. Mental health issues can be difficult to diagnose in children due to their constant development, but persistent patterns that cause distress are worth taking seriously.

Child psychologists usually distinguish between mental health symptoms that younger children versus older children might exhibit. Here’s a breakdown of what to look for.

Signs of mental health issues in young children:

• Intense irritability or tantrums
• Frequent fears and worries
• Inexplicable stomach aches or headaches
• Can’t stop moving or talking except when engaged with a screen
• Sleeping issues, nightmares, or daytime sluggishness
• Lack of interest in socializing or struggle to make friends
• Performing repetitive behaviors in order to prevent something bad from happening
• Struggling academically, socially, or behaviorally at school

Signs of mental health issues in adolescents and teenagers:

• Anhedonia (loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy)
• Low energy
• Sleeping issues or daytime sluggishness
• Spending more time alone, avoiding friends and family
• Significantly increased or decreased eating
• Body image issues
• Seems manic, requiring little sleep
• Hallucinations or paranoia
• Engaging in substance use or risky/destructive behaviors
• Harming themselves (cutting themselves, burning skin)
• Suicidal ideation (Note: In these instances, seek professional help or crisis services like 988. If someone is in imminent danger, call 911 immediately)

What Signs Do Parents Often Miss?

“One of the most commonly missed warning signs, especially in young children, is physical symptoms,” Dumler says. “Young children often lack the language to express complex emotions, so mental health struggles can appear as frequent fatigue, headaches, stomachaches, or other recurring physical complaints.”

Hiers agrees: “Children often express emotional distress through their bodies or behaviors rather than words. If something feels ‘off,’ trust your instincts. You know your child best!”

Other signs that are easy to miss include:

Traits mistaken for personality. Perfectionism, dramatic or flat emotional expression, or constant worry can easily blend into normal childhood behaviors and development. But coupled with other symptoms, they can be a sign of something more, Dumler says.

Changes dismissed as “just a phase.” Shifts in eating or sleeping habits, social withdrawal, changes in friend groups, or a sudden drop in school performance can be early indicators that a child is having a harder time than they know how to express.

“Children often express emotional distress through their bodies or behaviors rather than words. If something feels ‘off,’ trust your instincts.”

Common Causes and Risk Factors

Mental health conditions can have a variety of causes. The three main factors behind many mental health issues are:

• Biological factors: Many mental disorders, such as ADHD, autism, anxiety, and depression, have genetic components, with some disorders being inherited in up to 80 percent of cases.
• Environmental factors: A safe, stable, and healthy environment is vital to the well-being of any child. Issues like bullying, poverty, divorce, moving, abuse, trauma, or poor mental health in parents can be major contributors. Trauma can be especially impactful, making existing challenges worse or causing new issues like PTSD.
• Lifestyle factors: With school, extracurriculars, and social lives, a lot can be expected of kids. Consistent lack of sleep, too much time on social media, poor nutrition, not enough physical or social activity, a lack of rest/downtime, and other aspects of a child’s calendar and lifestyle can exacerbate mental health symptoms.

How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health at Home: What Therapists Recommend

A few creative and effective ways to support your child include:

Model Healthy Coping

In high-stress parenting moments, it can be easy to repeat cycles and patterns that we learned in our own childhoods. However, by focusing on your own mental health and behaviors and finding healthy ways to cope with them, not only will you learn to manage them more effectively, but your child will see what healthy emotional regulation looks like firsthand.

This can also look like talking about your own feelings with them in a way they understand. When parents openly talk about their feelings or share how they’re managing tough moments, it helps normalize emotional expression.

“Kids learn by watching, so demonstrating calm problem-solving teaches more than lectures ever could,” Dumler says.

Try Creative Communication

As discussed earlier, kids don’t always have the vocabulary or knowledge to identify and explain their emotional experience. If your child struggles to talk about their feelings, you can try using a shared journal or sketchbook. Let them write or draw their thoughts and leave the book in a set spot for you to read and respond. This builds emotional connection with less pressure and can fit into busy routines.

As they progress, Hiers suggests teaching your child about “feeling words.” “Help your child label their emotions—are they sad, frustrated, embarrassed, scared? This way they can learn to express feelings instead of acting them out.”

Weave Coping Skills Into Family Life

Thankfully, there are many ways to turn coping skills practice into play for your kids. Turn calming strategies into shared activities like blowing up balloons to practice deep breathing, taking family walks to reset, or enjoying quiet coloring time instead of screen time. Making coping a natural part of family routines helps it stick long term.

Set Aside Routine One-on-One Time

At the end of the day, children want to feel seen and heard, especially when they act out. They just might not know how to communicate what’s wrong. Set aside consistent, predictable time each week to connect with your child individually. This offers them a safe space to share feelings or bring up difficult topics, or even just take comfort in your presence and full attention.

“Kids thrive on connection and want to feel seen,” Hiers says. “Simply showing curiosity about their world helps them feel secure and understood.”

Mental health support at home isn’t one-size-fits-all. A mental health professional can help guide interventions at home through family therapy.

Focus on Practice, Not Perfection

​​Research shows that setting boundaries and correcting your child—even imperfectly—actually helps their brain grow. What matters is making the effort, not getting it perfect every time.

“Challenging situations create opportunities for new neural pathways to form, supporting learning and emotional development,” Dumler says. “If you lose your cool in a tough moment, the key is to reconnect afterward. Apologize, repair, and move forward.”

Hiers agrees: “There’s no perfect phrase or magic fix, but how you respond matters just as much as what you say. Your tone, patience, and consistency will speak volumes. It’s natural to want to fix things, but being a calm and safe presence matters more than perfect solutions.”

Don’t forget to care for yourself. Dumler reminds parents to prioritize their own well-being as they support their child. “Pour into your own well-being and find ways to stay grounded amid the chaos—it truly makes a difference.”

Try these strategies when you’re struggling:

• Use a simple mantra: “My child is a good kid who’s just having a hard time” or “I’m a good parent doing my best to help”
• Follow positive parenting pages that refill your cup
• Remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup

How to Get Additional Help for Your Child

Start by talking to your pediatrician and other adults in your child’s life. Teachers, school counselors, and family members can share their observations and help give you a fuller picture of what’s going on.

“Your child’s doctor can be a great resource in helping to determine whether a referral to a child counselor or psychologist might be helpful,” Hiers says. “Even a brief consultation can provide clarity and next steps, like therapeutic intervention and medication.”

Child therapy will involve differing levels of parental involvement depending on the child’s age and the challenges they’re facing, so talk with your child’s therapist to see what’s expected of you and what level of privacy there might be for your child’s sessions.

Whichever intervention you decide on, remember to be kind to yourself. “Parenting is the hardest job in the world, and it’s OK to give yourself grace,” Dumler says. “There’s no one way to care for your child—as long as you’re watchful, curious, and continue to learn, you will do what you can for your child.”

With the right support—both at home and from professionals—children can develop the resilience and skills they need to thrive