The first date. Laughing. Holding hands. The first kiss. Popping the question. The vows and “I dos.” The romantic getaway. The first argument. The dead air. The ever-growing walls of resentment …
Does this progression sound familiar? You start out in a marriage so excited to spend your life with the person you’ve fallen in love with, but something happens along the way, and your soulmate becomes your arch-nemesis.
The reality is that many soon-to-be spouses enter into a “Till death do us part” contract without really understanding the commitment and communication necessary for overcoming the myriad of obstacles that litter the road of marital bliss. Seemingly insignificant disagreements grow into fights. Never getting resolved, the sour into resentful feelings, and resolution seems impossible.
Voices raise. Doors slam. Emotional boxing matches leave everyone in rough shape.
Physical attraction is great, and is often the inciting factor in a romantic relationship. But in order for the relationship to be healthy and potentially life-long, you’re going to need a stronger foundation than infatuation.
Reciprocated appreciation and respect, collaboration, open communication — these are just a few of the crucial ingredients necessary for a long and satisfying marriage, no matter what your background is. You can’t close your eyes and feel it out. It takes intention. It takes awareness and understanding.
Who Can Benefit from Thriveworks Birmingham Marriage Counseling?
You love your spouse — you really do — but you can’t imagine things lasting if things keep up the way they are. And you’re right. But you stay together for the sake of your children or out of fear of social embarrassment. You and your spouse can barely consider yourselves friends anymore. You’ve not been unfaithful, but don’t really see how that would make any difference. How could possibly this feel any worse?
You take turns either falling asleep with tears drying on your cheeks or not really sleeping at all. A brief argument in the morning over a household issue sends the both of you off to work stewing and giving too much attention to perceived emotional wounds. Restitution doesn’t even cross your mind.
Does any of this sound in any way familiar? Not exactly the milk and roses you were promised.
Discontent in marriage can come from many places. Some common sources of marital tension include:
- Chronic financial struggles
- Failing health
- Infidelity, whether emotional or physical
- Struggling to have children
- Complications with kids, in-laws or other family members
- Loss of steady income by one or both spouses
- A recent move
- Psychological issues
- Substance abuse
Your problems might be recent or they could be ages old. The duration doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you understand that many couples have gone through what you’re going through now; periods of unhappiness are certain in a marriage. Many couples, however, have sought out a counselor for help (individually or as a couple) and are ever-grateful for doing so.
If you’re interested in putting your marriage back together, that’s a great sign. You have to want it for it to happen. You also have to believe it can happen. Acknowledge that you need help, and immediately go find it. If you’re in the Detroit area looking for marriage counseling, consider finding this help at Thriveworks Birmingham.
Can My Marriage Get Better? How?
If you’re having a hard time believing that the potential for things to get better exists, do not be alarmed. Your inability to see the path to a better relationship is likely linked to the reason why things are so off-center anyway.
The trained counselors and psychologists at Thriveworks Birmingham marriage counseling in Oakland County have not only have the combined benefit of experience and an objective point-of-view, they’ve also accrued a number of techniques and practices that have been proven, when implemented, to dramatically reshape relationships.
A few beginning steps that you will take at Thriveworks Birmingham marriage counseling:
- Acknowledging the imperfections within your relationship
- Acknowledging that neither spouse is without fault or flaw
- Recognizing that help is needed in order for things to change and improve
- Learning how to communicate more effectively
- Active listening techniques
- Anger management
- Teamwork techniques
- Being more intentional about including one another in decisions, however small
- Increasing the frequency and quality of the time you spend together
The above list might seem like a tall order. You might think you and your spouse don’t have what it takes. That’s a totally understandable (and expected) way for you to feel. You’re in a behavioral pattern that you don’t know how to break out of. A professional, experienced counselor, however, can help you identify repeat responses and other possible approaches. Figuring that out on your own is nearly impossible. Let us help you create a new climate in your home.
Thriveworks Birmingham Marriage Counselors in Oakland County Can Help
The couples and marriage counselors at Thriveworks Birmingham Counseling and coaching, just outside of Detroit, are experts in the field. Many have been featured by trusted news publications and media outlets such as Mashable, CNN, The Boston Globe, NBC, Bleacher Report, Cult of Mac, Counseling Today, The Journal of Mental Health Counseling and many more. Let our experienced clinicians put their skills to the task of revolutionizing your marriage.
Call us today, and we can get you an appointment this week, if not within 24 hours. We operate on a strict “zero waiting list” policy: we pick up when you call (no matter the day or time), and will make sure to get you with a clinician who can meet your needs when you need them met — not weeks after playing phone tag.
But perhaps you’re hesitating to call. For the sake of your happiness and the happiness of those around you, please do call. You and your spouse deserve to give your relationship a real chance. Remember back when you first got married and how exciting that time was. Times have changed, but you’re still the same people you were then, just more knowledgeable and experienced. Your problems won’t fix themselves, and deciding to end the marriage often only makes matters worse.
Most insurance providers accepted!”
Thriveworks Birmingham marriage counselors near Detroit, MI have the skills and experience to help you heal — you just have to want to heal. Let’s work together to restore unity in your home.
Your marriage can bring your fulfillment and joy. Let us help you find the way.