How to set therapy goals (and why they’ll probably change as you grow)

You’ve decided to start therapy, and now someone’s asking you about your goals. Maybe it’s your therapist, maybe it’s the intake form, or maybe it’s just that voice in your head wondering what you’re hoping to get out of this.

If your mind goes blank when you try to think of therapy goals, you’re in good company. Career goals? Easy—ask for that raise, set better boundaries at work. Fitness goals? Clear enough—run the 5K, finally do a pull-up. But therapy goals? Not as simple.

You don’t have to figure it out alone.

“Therapy goals are co-created between the therapist and client,” says Alexander Cromer, LPC, lead clinician at Thriveworks. “A therapy goal is something that is workable and achievable, but it also is something that is important and tailored directly to the client.”

Whether you’re walking into therapy with crystal-clear objectives or you’re still figuring out what you need, this guide will help you understand how to set meaningful goals that actually work for your life.

How to Set Therapy Goals: 5 Key Things to Consider

When most people think about goal-setting, they picture sitting down with a fresh notebook and writing out a perfect list. If that works for you, great. But for most of us, it helps to slow down and think through a few things first, including:

1. It’s perfectly fine if your first goal is “figure out what I want from therapy.”

Feeling lost about what you want from therapy doesn’t mean you’re not ready for it. “It is absolutely OK to show up for therapy without being able to perfectly articulate your goals,” says Lauren Spencer, MS, LMFT, a licensed therapist specializing in anxiety and OCD.

When this happens, Spencer recommends starting with an honest conversation about your life: current stressors, what’s not working, what’s keeping you up at night. That conversation often reveals what you need to work on, even when you can’t name it at first.

2. Think about the hard parts of your life.

“One of the things that can be helpful is to think about any areas of life that you find really hard,” Cromer says. She suggests asking yourself:

• What areas of my life am I doing well in or do I feel are easy to manage?
• What areas of my life feel harder or are tricky to manage?
• Are there relationships that are difficult?
• Do I feel like I’m getting in my own way in some areas?

A therapist can also provide an outside perspective on different areas of your life, helping you see patterns or struggles you might miss on your own.

3. Picture your ideal life.

Therapy isn’t just about fixing what’s broken—it’s about helping you flourish. That’s why Spencer recommends imagining your ideal life about a year from now when you’re thinking about goals.

Maybe your ideal life includes feeling more confident at work, having better conversations with your partner, or just feeling less anxious day-to-day. Maybe you want to actually like yourself when you look in the mirror. These visions of your future self can guide your treatment and help you focus on where you want to go, not just what you want to escape.

4. Keep goals specific and realistic.

Good therapy goals work like stepping stones: They get you closer to that ideal life over time, but they’re achievable in the short term. “I like to set three-month goals with my clients,” Cromer says.

Three months isn’t long enough to completely transform your career or relationships, but it’s plenty of time to make real progress—like learning to set better boundaries at work or developing healthier ways to handle stress.

Cromer also emphasizes making goals specific and attainable. “I’ll have a lot of clients that say, ‘I want to be happy,” she says. “I want you to be happy too, but happiness is really subjective, and we’re not happy all the time, even if we have a balanced life. That might be a time where I’d say, ‘To me, it sounds like you want inner peace.'”

From there, you can work together on concrete ways to build inner peace, including better coping strategies, calming routines, or ways to quiet that critical voice in your head.

5. Focus on what you can actually control.

Life throws curveballs we can’t predict or control. But we can control how we respond to our emotions, the habits we build, and the choices we make day-to-day. Cromer recommends focusing your goals on these areas where you have real influence.

For example, “make three new friends in three months” sounds measurable, but you can’t control whether you’ll meet three people you click with, and you definitely can’t force anyone to be your friend. A more realistic goal might be “put myself in social situations more often” or “learn to be kinder to myself when I’m feeling lonely.”

Therapy Goal Examples for Different Situations

Every person’s therapy goals are unique, but seeing examples can help you understand what good goals look like in practice. Here are some specific goals Spencer and Cromer have used with clients:

Can My Therapist Help Me Set Goals?

Absolutely—and they should. When goals are developed together with your therapist, therapy tends to be more effective.

“Goals for therapy help guide treatment approaches for the therapist but also help the client better understand what they want to shift and grow in,” Spencer says. “They are also vital in not only assessing progress, but also whether or not the therapeutic approaches are truly helping.”

Despite how important goals are, research shows that nearly one in four people report their therapy sessions lacked proper goal-setting or progress follow-up. To make sure you and your therapist are aligned, ask about their approach to goal-setting during your initial intake session or first appointment.

How Do I Know If I’m Making Progress?

Your therapist will help you track progress, but it might not look like what you expect. Cromer says she often measures progress based on how clients are feeling and how they’re using new coping skills in everyday life.

Progress might look like sticking to a new routine, counting to 10 before reacting when you’re anxious, or noticing you’ve gone a whole week without that familiar pit of dread in your stomach.

Both Cromer and Spencer emphasize that progress looks different for everyone. “As a therapist, I personally always come back to the question, ‘How would you know your time in therapy was complete? What would have changed in yourself or your life?’” Spencer says. “This almost always provides some good bullet point answers to parse out with clients.”

Your Therapy Goals Will Change—And That’s Good

“Therapy goals are like a journey, not necessarily one destination or a linear process,” Cromer says. What matters isn’t checking off every goal exactly as you wrote it, but how working toward those goals helps you grow.

Sometimes reaching one goal reveals new areas you want to work on. Other times, you might realize a goal that seemed important doesn’t matter to you anymore. That’s all part of the process.

“When we reach a goal, we want to maintain that level, and maintaining is an ongoing process, so it’s not a one and done,” Cromer explains. If you’ve learned to manage anger in healthier ways, your new goal might be creating habits and lifestyle changes to keep that progress going.

Find the Right Support to Reach Your Therapy Goals

Setting good therapy goals is both an art and a science. It takes self-reflection, honest conversation, and often some trial and error. Whether you’re starting therapy with clear objectives or you’re still figuring out what you need, the right therapist can help you create goals that actually make sense for your life.

At Thriveworks, our therapists work with you to develop goals that fit your unique situation, thanks to the variety of specializations and approaches our team offers. If you’re ready to explore therapy options or have questions about getting started, we’re here to help! You can browse providers online or call us at (833) 966-4233.

Frequently Asked Questions

How often should I review my therapy goals?

Many therapists check in on goals during each session, though it might not always be formal. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking how your week went or how a specific skill you’ve been practicing is working out.

What if I don’t reach my therapy goals?

Therapy goals are meant to guide your treatment, not become a pass-or-fail test. There are many reasons you might not reach a specific goal—maybe it’s no longer important to you, or maybe you’ve discovered something else you’d rather focus on. Your therapist can help you adjust your goals and celebrate the progress you have made.

How long does it take to achieve therapy goals?

There’s no standard timeline for reaching therapy goals. It depends on how complex the goal is, your personal situation, and how treatment unfolds. Two people might both want to set better boundaries at work—one might achieve this in three months, while another might realize their workplace is toxic and need to focus on coping skills and job searching, which takes longer. Every journey is different—focus on your progress, not the timeline.