I hate people: Is that normal? Causes, treatments, and shifting our perspectives

Is it normal to harbor such intense animosity towards others? It is—occasionally. Hate, with its corrosive nature, defies normalcy in its consuming grip, demanding a toll on both mind and body. 

This sentiment, characterized by intense malevolent feelings, often stems from perceived threats, chronic disappointment, or deep offense. However, navigating hateful thoughts and emotions requires us to understand the roots, implications, and the pivotal role that our perceptions play. 

From the distress of despising everyone to the discomfort of unwanted physical contact, explore the multifaceted nature of hate, and the remedies that mental health providers can offer you.

Is It Normal to Hate People So Much?

Normal can refer to what is healthy, typical, or average; so is it normal to hate people? No, it is not “normal” to hate people so much. Hate is exhausting because it requires a lot of emotional and physical energy. 

Hate:

• Refers to overall intense malevolent feelings towards something or someone
• Is accompanied by strong and often intense feelings of dislike (antipathy)

Hate negatively affects your mental health. However, it is “normal” to hate people if you perceive, accurately or not, that the person is creating an inescapable condition that feels threatening, deeply offensive, chronically disappointing, violating, or extremely insecure.

Why Do I Hate Being Around People?

A person might experience hostile feelings towards people accompanied by strong and often violent feelings of antipathy if they perceive the person they’re around to be:

• Offensive
• Intimidating
• Uncivilized
• Judgemental
• Belittling
• Condescending

This is where the word ‘perceives’ becomes important and helps guide you closer to why you feel the way that you do. You can be justifiably offended by someone’s behavior—but the other person could sincerely not intend for their behavior to be offensive-they may even think they’re being helpful.

That distinction creates an opportunity for self-awareness for you to identify what action elicited such a strong reaction and consider what you value that was offended. It also allows for effective communication to clarify the consequences of behavior and allow both parties to consider modifying their behavior. 

Perhaps the offending party can reconsider their approach or you can choose to interpret their behavior as they expressed they intended. By doing so it helps create a positive relationship or lessen the intensity of negative feelings.

What Does It Mean When You Feel Like You Hate Everything?

If you feel like you truly hate everything, it means that you are experiencing intense malevolent feelings towards all things and it is accompanied by strong and often violent feelings of dislike. This also means that you’re likely to find yourself in situations where you exhibit intense hostility towards yourself or others due to hurt feelings, fear, or anger.

To hate everything is an insecure approach to interpersonal interactions. Consider the term ‘insecure’ to refer to the absence of a seat belt in a car. 

• When you’re the passenger of a car going a high rate of speed without a seatbelt you’re more likely to communicate your concerns
• You may share negative sentiments with the driver about how their actions are affecting you
• In this analogy, awareness of values is the seatbelt as it better enables the individual to protect what is meaningful from inadvertent comments that could be received as offensive

In other words, if you find that you hate everything it likely means that you have adopted an unhelpful perspective of life that is likely to cause a perpetual state of intense negative feelings unless checked.

Is Hatred a Disorder?

Hatred is not a disorder recognized in the history of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Hatred is a feeling that ranges in duration and intensity. 

Hatred is not mentioned much in the DSM-5—however other intense negative feelings can appear as a symptom of a disorder.

If a person is experiencing irritability it could be due to stress or a clinical reason such as a symptom of an anxiety disorder or depression. People with anxiety exist in a state of worry about the probability that something bad will occur to them.

What Makes Someone a Misanthrope?

A misanthrope in its most general sense, is considered a person who hates humans, by nature and behaviors. Misanthropes are different from discriminatory groups (racists, sexists, etc.) because they hate everyone. 

In addition to hate, misanthropy usually involves aversion and distrust. These feelings may arise from the perception of moral flaws with human beings and human nature in modern society. 

What Is It Called When You Hate Everyone but Yourself?

To hate everyone but yourself falls under the category of “misanthrope.” Misanthropy can be broken down in etymology: “mis-” meaning “hatred,” and “anthropo-” referring to “human.” The definition has then taken on the added caveat of someone hating everyone but themselves, as the perspective of a misanthrope is one that places themselves above others.

Should I Hate People?

It’s better to shift your mindset, if possible. Hate will inevitably destroy you more than the object of your hate. Hating a person is an inefficient use of your time and energy. 

Instead, try: 

• Channeling the counter-positive feeling to achieve a greater sense of control. 
• If you hate someone for having mistreated you, consider focusing on personal wellness and forgiveness.
• If you hate someone for having chronically disappointed you, consider focusing on positive energy such as gratitude for the people who have more consistently met your expectations. And engaging in values-aligned behavior schedules that promote wellness.

If you truly hate everyone it is advisable to collaborate with a mental health professional to identify the source and triggers to discontinue or lessen this hostile emotion that is intense in detest and anger and is often accompanied by a desire to do harm.

Why Do I Hate People Touching Me?

It is your right for a person to request and receive your consent before touching you or getting in your personal space. If a person has touched you without your consent, you likely feel hate because your personal boundaries were violated and this elicited an antipathetic response and likely a desire for harm to occur to them. 

There are other reasons why people hate being touched. Some people are more sensitive to touch than others. Some people are also uncomfortable being touched due to fear of contamination.

Regardless of the reason, if you hate to be touched and find yourself in situations where you are being touched it is certainly your right to see that it discontinues—and if it’s crossing boundaries, alert authorities or a mental health professional immediately. 

How to Stop Hating Everyone: Treatment Options

The source of your hate is likely justifiable, but it’s important to seek treatment. This is especially true if you have experienced a traumatic event. 

By collaborating with a mental health professional it is likely that you would learn coping skills and strategies to better regulate your emotions, such as: 

• Anger management: Strategies to reduce inappropriate anger reactions and express feelings of anger appropriately. This can include relaxation techniques to decrease physiological (body) responses; cognitive restructuring to identify unhelpful thoughts and replace them with more rational thoughts; effective communication skills to consider better and express feelings and ways to decrease interaction with anger-provoking situations.
• Relaxation techniques: Strategies to reduce stress and tension and promote feelings of calm and peace. This can include techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and mindfulness.
• Coping skills: Strategies to modify a person’s reaction to a stressful or unpleasant situation. This can include engaging in physical activity, using positive self-talk, journaling, or doing something nice for someone.

Left unchecked, hateful thoughts can mature into impulses that can create real-life consequences. Check-in with a mental health professional if it feels as though you are alienated and upset with the world around you; you aren’t alone—and there are tools that can help you feel better.