How to find a therapist: Your guide to getting the support you deserve

Where to Start Your Search

Not every great therapist will be great for you. The goal is finding someone who matches your specific needs, budget, insurance situation, and—equally important—someone you actually feel comfortable talking to. Here are the best places to start:

1. Ask Your Primary Care Doctor

Your primary care provider sees patients dealing with mental health challenges regularly, so they often have trusted referrals. A quick call to their office or mention during your next appointment can yield solid recommendations in your area.

Plus, some insurance plans require a referral from your PCP before they’ll cover mental health treatment, making your doctor’s office a smart first stop anyway.

2. Talk to People You Trust

According to our 2025 research, nearly one in four Americans (23%) currently sees a therapist, and almost half (48%) plan to start within the next year. Chances are, someone in your circle has been there and found someone helpful.

When asking for referrals from friends or family, dig a little deeper: What do they like about their therapist? Does their description match what you think you need? This helps you gauge whether their recommendation might actually work for you.

3. Check Your Insurance Network

Insurance companies typically cover “in-network” providers—therapists who already have contracts with your insurer. Most insurance websites have searchable databases of these providers, though the therapist profiles might be pretty basic compared to what you’ll find elsewhere.

If you can’t find the list online, call or email your insurance company’s customer service team and ask them to send you in-network therapists in your area.

4. Search Online Therapy Databases

Platforms like Thriveworks let you search by specialty, therapeutic approaches, populations served, and more. You can filter for virtual or in-person sessions and find providers covered by your insurance.

Many people find these databases easier to navigate than other options. Of the nearly 180,000 people who found a provider through Thriveworks last year, 96% feel truly supported and understood by their therapist.

What to Consider Beyond the Basics

Once you have potential names, it’s time to figure out who might actually be a good fit. “The most important thing with any counseling relationship is that a client feels like they have a great connection with their provider,” says Tim Hirschman, LPC, vice president of clinical operations at Thriveworks.

Research backs this up: Studies consistently show that the therapeutic relationship is the most important predictor of positive outcomes in treatment—often mattering as much as their training, specialty, or therapeutic approach.

That connection grows from feeling comfortable in sessions and believing your provider can help you reach your therapy goals. But practical stuff matters too, like whether sessions happen online or in-person and what you’ll actually pay.

Here’s what to think through as you evaluate your options:

1. Your Goals (Even If They’re Fuzzy)

Before meeting with potential therapists, try writing down why you want therapy. Maybe it’s anxiety that’s followed you for years, processing a recent trauma, or something else entirely. Having some sense of direction helps you look for relevant specialties and gives you a framework for what success might look like.

What if you’re not sure why you’re seeking therapy? “If you don’t know why you’re coming to therapy, great, you’re in the right place,” says Kate Hanselman, a psychiatric nurse practitioner at Thriveworks.

She suggests writing down what isn’t working in your life instead. Share that list with a potential therapist, and they can help you turn those concerns into concrete goals during your first few sessions.

Remember, no goal is too small or too big. “If your goal is as simple as I’d like to sleep better but you don’t know what better looks like, we can help with that,” Hanselman says.

2. Specialties and Therapeutic Approaches

Once you have some clarity on your goals, think about what kind of expertise might help you reach them. Therapists come with various titles—therapist, counselor, psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, psychiatrist—but most of these distinctions matter less than you might think. (We break down all the differences in this guide to mental health professionals.)

The key exceptions: Only psychiatrists and psychiatric nurse practitioners can prescribe medication, and only psychologists can provide official diagnoses.

Beyond that, focus on the therapist’s approach, Hirschman says. This includes their methods, what mental health conditions they have experience treating, and which age groups they specialize in working with.

“If you want help working on your ADHD, and you’re a woman,” explains Hanselman, “finding a clinician who’s a woman and mentions that she had lived experience of ADHD might be a really helpful fit.”

3. Online vs. In-Person Sessions

Both online and in-person therapy are clinically effective. The right choice usually comes down to what feels better for you.

Some people love the convenience of online therapy—no commute, familiar surroundings, easier scheduling. Others feel more connected and comfortable meeting face-to-face.

If you’re unsure, think about recent sensitive conversations you’ve had—maybe a difficult doctor’s appointment or an important work discussion. Did virtual or in-person feel more natural and comfortable? That gut reaction can guide your decision.

4. Insurance and Costs

All Medicare plans, Marketplace health insurance, and employer-sponsored policies must cover behavioral health treatment. But how much you pay and exactly what’s covered varies significantly.

When figuring out costs with a specific therapist, look at:

• In-network vs. out-of-network: In-network providers have contracts with your insurance, meaning you pay less. Out-of-network providers cost more, though many plans still cover a portion.
• Deductible: Most plans have an annual deductible (ranging from hundreds to thousands of dollars) that you pay before coverage kicks in for many services. You might pay therapy costs out-of-pocket until you meet this amount.
• Copays: After meeting your deductible, you typically pay a flat fee per session. This amount differs for in-network versus out-of-network providers.
• Coinsurance: Some plans use coinsurance instead of copays, meaning you pay a percentage of each session’s cost.
• Session limits: Your insurance might cap how many therapy sessions they’ll cover annually. Check your plan’s policy for any limits before starting therapy. 

If insurance doesn’t cover your preferred therapist, you’ve hit session limits, or you’re paying out-of-pocket for other reasons, ask your therapist about payment options. Licensed providers are transparent about fees and can often connect you with financial assistance resources.

Questions to Ask Before You Decide

Many therapists offer a free 15-minute consultation call where you can ask questions and get a feel for their style. As Hanselman puts it: “Remember that it is a buying trip, not a selling trip.” You’re not trying to become friends—you’re determining whether this person can help you work through difficult emotions or life situations.

She recommends asking potential therapists:

• What are your specialties?
• What therapeutic approaches or methods do you use?
• What kind of clients tend to work well with you?
• What should I expect from our first session?
• How will I know if we’re a good fit?

How to Know if Your Therapist Is Right for You

Figuring out if a therapist is “right” for you can be tricky since everyone’s needs are different. But there are some reliable indicators:

• You pass each other’s unofficial vibe check, meaning there’s a solid connection
• You feel comfortable discussing difficult topics
• They listen without judgment
• You leave sessions feeling like you’re making progress
• You feel heard and sense they’re invested in your journey
• You notice improvements in your mental health or daily life within a few months
• They respect your boundaries

Remember: The First Therapist May Not Be the Best Fit

“Sometimes that first connection isn’t the best fit,” Hirschman says. Talking with several therapists before choosing one isn’t failure; it’s part of many people’s mental health journeys.

As you progress in therapy, you might outgrow your original goals or find that your therapist’s approach no longer serves you. Working with different therapists over time is completely valid.

Whether you’re starting fresh or ending a therapeutic relationship, Hanselman recommends being direct and honest with providers. They can adjust their treatment approach or refer you to someone who might be a better match.

“Remember a good fit is out there, so keep looking until you find someone who feels like a good fit for you, don’t just settle,” Hanselman says.

The Bottom Line

Finding the right therapist takes time and effort. You’ll likely need to ask for referrals, clarify what you’re looking for, and talk to a few prospective therapists. But when you find the right match, therapy becomes a transformative part of your mental health journey.

Using a database like Thriveworks can streamline your search, helping you get to the healing work faster.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to find the right therapist?

Finding the right therapist typically takes a few weeks. You’re looking for someone with relevant expertise who can help you achieve your goals, fits your budget or insurance network, and makes you feel comfortable during sessions.

Is online therapy or in-person therapy better?

Neither is inherently better—both are clinically effective. The right choice depends on your personal preferences. Some people prefer online therapy for its convenience and time savings, while others feel more connected during in-person sessions.

How many therapists should I talk to before deciding?

There’s no magic number, but many people find it helpful to speak with a few options. Since most therapists offer free consultation calls, you can explore your options before committing to anyone.