Do I have anger issues? Signs, causes, and treatment that works

What Are Anger Issues?

We all feel angry from time to time, but not everyone develops anger issues. Anger issues occur when you ruminate on that emotion, express frustration in harmful or unhealthy ways, or don’t understand where your anger comes from.

“Anger is not bad when it’s expressed in a healthy way—it can motivate you for change and help you set limits,” says Tahara DeBarrows, LMFT, founder of Journey to Healing Counseling. “Anger becomes unhealthy when it’s chronic, destructive, or aggressive.“

Let’s say your significant other cancels date-night plans to watch the big game for the third week in a row. You could respond by yelling at them or silently hyperfixate on that anger. Or you could calmly express how the cancellation makes you feel, addressing the problem constructively. The first response may indicate anger issues, while the latter demonstrates how anger can inspire us to establish boundaries and communicate our feelings.

According to a national U.S. survey of over 34,000 adults, about one in 13 adults experiences inappropriate, intense, or poorly controlled anger that significantly impacts daily life.

But how exactly can you tell if you have anger issues or if anger is working as a positive force? There are three key differentiators to look for:

1. Triggers

Sweating the small things, especially when your anger lingers or your reactions are disproportionate, may be a sign of anger issues. Getting angry about a friend’s cancer diagnosis is normal; feeling rage over how slowly the self-checkout machine operates at the grocery store may indicate an issue.

2. Intensity

A healthy reaction to anger communicates boundaries and doesn’t harm you or anyone else. If someone gets angry and hits a loved one or throws something at the wall, for example, anger issues may be at play. It’s also possible to internalize anger too intensely. Someone with intense internalized anger may experience headaches or muscle tension when upset.

3. Frequency

Feeling angry 24/7 isn’t normal. If you’re frustrated that your iced latte has too much ice, your coworker chews too loudly, and you didn’t get off the waitlist for your morning workout class—all before lunch—it may point to anger issues.

Signs You Might Have Anger Issues

Signs of anger issues can be internal, such as clenched jaws or muscle tension, or external, like exploding at a loved one or throwing objects when upset.

Physical and Emotional Signs of Anger Issues

Many people with anger issues experience intense internal symptoms but don’t express their anger outwardly. They may think they don’t have “real” anger problems because they’re not yelling or breaking things, but chronic anger can be expressed physically and emotionally as well.

Common internal symptoms of anger issues include:

• Racing heart
• Muscle tension
• High blood pressure
• Clenched jaw or fists
• Feeling hot
• Headaches
• Changes in breathing
• Fatigue after episodes
• Persistent irritability
• Disproportionate frustration
• Difficulty letting go
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Sexual dysfunction like low libido

Behavioral Red Flags and Impact on Others

Other people visibly express anger, often in ways that damage relationships and professional opportunities, even if they don’t experience internal warning signs. They may feel like their anger “comes out of nowhere” because they’re not tuned into physical or emotional cues—and yes, this applies to passive-aggressive behavior too.

Specific behavioral red flags include:

• Yelling
• Slamming objects
• Storming out
• Verbal attacks on others
• Road rage
• Giving someone the silent treatment
• Overusing sarcasm
• Indirect retaliation
• Withdrawal

Common Causes and Triggers of Anger Issues

Anger as an emotion is often triggered by something internal, such as a behavioral pattern, or something external in the world around us (also known as environmental triggers). Learning how to identify common triggers can help you react more thoughtfully.

Mental Health Conditions That Can Contribute to Anger

“As a behavioral pattern, anger becomes a default way of reacting to conflict, stress, or discomfort, often without reflection,” says J Cangialosi, LCPC, a licensed therapist at Relief Mental Health. “This is when we use anger to avoid talking about the real emotion.”

Often, those with anger issues have other underlying conditions that sometimes make it difficult to process the emotions underneath. Conditions commonly associated with anger issues include:

1. ADHD. ADHD may lead to challenges with emotional regulation or hyperfocusing on certain experiences or emotions, including anger.
2. Bipolar disorder. During manic episodes, it’s possible to experience sudden outbursts of anger, often without a direct cause.
3. Depression. A common symptom of depression is irritability, which may turn into anger.
4. Anxiety. When someone has anxiety, they may feel agitated, irritable, or angry, often stemming from chronic overwhelm or worrying.

Environmental and Learned Factors

Our environment and upbringing also play a role in how we respond to anger. Specific factors that may cause anger issues include:

1. Childhood influences. Family anger patterns, trauma responses, and learned behaviors from parents or caregivers all influence how we respond to anger.
2. Work environment. Careers can be a significant contributor to anger, with criticism from others and unrealistic expectations being two common causes of anger at work.
3. Relationships. Romantic and platonic relationships may trigger anger, especially when there are unaddressed or unresolved conflicts or when boundaries have been crossed.
4. Financial stress. Money can be an emotional topic. A 2022 study suggests finances are a leading cause of psychological distress, particularly for those who are unmarried, renters instead of homeowners, unemployed, or underemployed.
5. Major life changes. Life transitions, especially unwanted ones like the loss of a loved one or a layoff, can trigger anger.
6. Cultural factors. “Culture also has something to do with it as well,” says DeBarrows. She adds that if someone grew up in a culture where others express anger, they’re more likely to express it and vice versa.
7. Gender expectations. Gender expectations around anger expression also influence how someone responds. DeBarrows adds this is especially true when there’s gender-related trauma.

Self-Assessment: Do I Have Anger Issues?

Self-reflection is a crucial first step to identifying and healing any anger issues. But sitting down to “self-reflect” with no guidance often feels like an impossible task. To help, here are six questions that can identify whether your anger is destructive or constructive.

6 Key Questions to Ask Yourself

1. Do I go from 0 to 100 over small things?

Expert guidance: DeBarrows recommends paying attention to how you react to small annoyances, like the WiFi glitching or running five minutes late to the gym.

2. Am I angry most days?

Expert guidance: Plake highlights that when we ruminate on anger, such as when we feel angry most days or can’t seem to let anger go, it may be a sign of a more serious issue.

3. Does my reaction and reaction level match the situation?

Expert guidance: “Anger is an extremely viable and acceptable emotion just like any other,” says Cangialosi. She adds that when it inspires a reaction to injustice, helps set boundaries, or motivates us to change, the reaction matches the situation. When it festers or leads to harmful actions against ourselves or others, it doesn’t match the situation.

4. Is anger affecting my relationships?

Expert guidance: When anger negatively impacts your personal or professional relationships, it may be a sign it’s out of control, DeBarrows explains.

5. Are other people afraid of my anger?

Expert guidance: DeBarrows recommends noticing how others react to your anger. If they shut down or act timid around you, it may be a sign that your anger is sparking fear.

6. Do I often feel misunderstood, disrespected, or on edge?

Expert guidance: Plake highlights that feeling these emotions all or most of the time indicates an underlying issue.

What to Do Next: Track Your Anger Patterns

If you answered yes to several questions or your responses concern you, consider tracking your anger for one week. You could use a mood tracking app like Daylio, a physical notebook, or even your phone’s notes app.

Track when you feel anger, the intensity on a scale of one to 10, your response, and any specific triggers. This log can provide powerful data that you, and possibly your therapist, can use to address the underlying reasons for your anger.

How to Deal with Anger Issues: Coping Skills and Treatment Options

Anger issues are manageable with the right approach, usually a mix of “in-the-moment” coping skills and long-term strategies, like therapy or journaling.

Immediate Anger Management Techniques

The next time you feel anger, try these quick in-the-moment strategies for immediate relief:

1. Ground yourself in the present moment.

“There’s a grounding exercise I really like to teach clients called the 5-4-3-2-1 technique,” says DeBarrows. With this technique, you name five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can feel, two you can smell, and one you can touch or taste. “It’s great because you use all your senses to ground into the moment, shifting the focus away from anger.”

2. Count to 10.

“Counting to 10 reduces anger because it creates a moment of pause before you react from that emotional space,” says Cangialosi. “Counting also has calming effects simply because you are thinking of counting rather than the anger.”

3. Avoid additional triggers.

If the anger lingers, the worst thing you can do is expose yourself to more triggers. You can note triggers specific to you, though common ones you may want to avoid include social media and the news, work emails, or tasks you don’t like and don’t have to do immediately.

4. Use “I” statements.

When angry with others, DeBarrows recommends using “I” statements to express that anger in a healthy way. If, for example, you and your partner are arguing over who will cook dinner, you could say, “I feel exhausted and really don’t want to have to cook again,” instead of yelling about how they never cook.

5. Take an adult time-out.

When we’re really angry, we sometimes need to remove ourselves from the situation or trigger. Instead of responding, put yourself in an adult time-out—in other words, take a break. “Taking a break or going on a walk can help calm you down,” says Plake.

Common Anger Management Mistakes to Avoid

While learning healthy anger management techniques is crucial, avoiding common pitfalls is equally important. Here are mistakes that can be counterproductive:

• Don’t bottle up anger completely. “When you continue to suppress your anger without processing it, it will eventually explode, making you feel out of control,” DeBarrows explains.
• Don’t act too quickly: “Anger feels uncomfortable and therefore, we want to get rid of it as quickly as possible,” Cangialosi says. “So we say what’s on our mind without giving it enough thought, resulting in saying things we regret later.”
• Don’t use alcohol/substances to cope: “Sometimes people use substances like alcohol to help calm them down, but in actuality, this can lead to an exacerbation of their built up anger,” DeBarrows says. 
• Don’t go to bed angry (all the time): “I am of the mindset that we should try to avoid going to bed angry as much as possible. However, we shouldn’t be arguing or even having deep, conflict resolution conversations while sleep deprived,” says Cangiolosi. When sleep deprived, we might say things we don’t mean and risk forgetting what was said in the morning. “If you find yourself in the midst of a conflict in the late hours of the night, agree to stop the conversation and resume it the next day.” Using grounding practices—like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique—can also be helpful to regulate your emotions before bed.

When to Seek Professional Help for Anger Issues

If anger becomes difficult to control on your own, you’re unsure where it’s stemming from, or it’s hurting your relationships and daily life, a therapist can help. One of the most evidence-based therapeutic approaches for anger is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a technique where a client and therapist explore the client’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in therapy sessions. A comprehensive analysis of 50 studies found that CBT works for about three out of every four people who try it for anger issues.

“When anger becomes destructive, cognitive behavioral therapy can help challenge thought patterns and provide space to process emotions and trauma,” says DeBarrows. She adds that since anger often stems from boundaries being violated, many individuals also benefit from practicing healthy assertiveness with a therapist.

There are also anger management classes and support groups, which tackle anger issues in a group setting. Addressing anger in a community provides additional support, as well as a safe space to practice healthy communication and problem-solving skills.

Important note on safety: If your anger has led to violence, threats of violence, or if you’re concerned about harming yourself or others, seek immediate professional help. Don’t wait to address anger that has become physically dangerous—contact a mental health professional, your doctor, or call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) for immediate support and resources.

Daily Habits That Reduce Anger Over Time

Alongside professional help, you can also tackle the patterns behind your anger with journaling. Plake often recommends that her patients journal about frequent triggers or reprocess early experiences with anger. Some prompts to get you started include:

• When was I angry today or this week? How did I respond when angry?
• What are my earliest memories of when I or someone else expressed anger?
• How was anger modeled to me growing up?

Another long-term step you can take is establishing healthy habits so you have a better baseline when a trigger pops up. “Stress, diet, and lifestyle all play a role in your irritability and your emotions,” says DeBarrows. “Adjust your lifestyle so you’re taking care of yourself: eat right, eat multiple times a day, and move your body.”