In life there will be times that people you trust and love will let you down or even hurt you. If that has not happened already, you know it will.
- Forgiveness Starts With You
- Don’t Approach the Individual While Angry
- Don’t Point the Finger
- Keep in Mind Why You Care About that Individual
This means that whether you think you’re to be blamed or not that you must start by forgiving yourself. Once you forgive your role in the situation, then you can better forgive the other person. This is also a way for you to take the time to evaluate what you could have done differently. Once you discover what could have been done differently don’t hold on to it. In your mind say, “I can’t change the past, but I will learn from my mistakes and never make the same ones habitually”.
To avoid bringing any more tension into the relationship take time away from the person and calm down. After you are calm and all of your thoughts are collected approach the individual who wronged you or who you wronged. This will lessen your chances of saying something that you might regret saying.
When you finally sit down to talk through the issue, make sure that you explain your side without downing the other person. State facts and let them know how you felt, but do so in a way that will not make them hostile in any way. It is also important to point out your role in the drama. Let them know that you don’t blame them for everything that went wrong. *It is important that you don’t just tip-toe around the issues, go ahead and say what the real issues are. If you avoid this, forgiveness will become harder.
The fact that you’re seeking forgiveness in the relationship shows that you care about that person. Look back in the memory bank of your mind and recall what made them important to you. Make sure you verbally tell them why you want forgiveness between the two of you. Make them feel valuable because they more than likely are valuable to you.
The path to forgiveness looks different for everyone, so it is important to be patient with yourself and with the person that you are seeking forgiveness with. Everyone has their reasons for reacting to certain situations the way they do. Remember that and don’t grow weary if it seems like forgiveness is far off. If you are important to this person, they will forgive you; it may just take longer than you thought.