I have developed an issue over the last several years that when I’m in a social setting and alcohols involved I can not have a few drinks socially I binge drink and end up sick and wondering why I can not just have one . I am a mother and I want to figure out where the need to drink excessive when in a social situation has come from . I don’t keep alcohol in the house bc my husband is in recovery I will buy a bottle of wine and drink the entire thing in one night then feel horribly and I won’t drink for a few days and I will decide I want a drink and it happens again . I do not drink in the am or feel like I’m dependent on alcohol it’s just if I’m at a party or event or wedding or at home like I mentioned I can not just have a few drinks socially so basically I don’t drink often but when I do I drink to get drunk . It’s affecting my husband and just recently my daughter has noticed once that I had one to many and I have tremendous guilt . I want to get to the bottom of this because now my daughter has been affected
Person 1: “My problem is that I drink a lot.”
Person 2: “Why do you drink a lot?”
Person 1: “Shame, lots of shame. Shame and guilt actually.”
Person 2: “What are you ashamed of?”
Person 1: “Drinking a lot.”
I know that guilt, shame, and alcohol are close relatives and enjoy each other’s company. Seeking help has seldom made things worse. I hope this helps!
Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It might be worth some interest keeping a log (who, what, when, where) of some of the situations that have led up into these episodes of binge drinking and paying attention to the way that you were feeling at that particular time.
Sometimes people can have difficulty in having just one drink at a time and there are many different reasons for this (biological, psychological, social, and/or spiritual).
Scheduling an appointment with a therapist who is familiar with substance use might be helpful for giving some insight into what situations are leading into the binge-drinking, as well as developing some skills to dial it back or abstain all together.
It sounds like you are admitting that you have a problem with drinking alcohol. There are a few places you can go to get more information to help you understand the answer you are seeking. You can attend any open AA meetings or celebrate Recovery groups which are held at local churches, or you can make an appointment with a counselor, to explore your thoughts and emotions about this important concern in your life. The question you are seeking an answer to, is when in social settings why do I drink too much? Well, people drink for many reasons, you need to ask yourself a few questions.
1. do I feel uncomfortable and anxious when in social settings?
2. what are my expectations of myself in social settings?
3. Are those expectations reasonable or unreasonable?
I encourage you to write out your answer and then read what you wrote. Share your insights with your husband or trusted friend. Consider attending one of the meetings mentioned above, yes it may be hard to take the first step and walk into a meeting or got to a counselor but it may be the most important step in the process of discovering the answer to your question.