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Jerry Seinfeld’s new Netflix comedy special “Jerry Before Seinfeld” was officially released earlier today, so we thought we’d do our part to help celebrate one of our favorite comedians. Not only is Jerry considered one of the greatest comics of all time, but he’s also arguably one of the greatest philosophers of our generation. Sure, Chewbacca could probably give Jerry a run for his money in that regard, but that’s a conversation for another day. Below are some amazing Jerry Seinfeld quotes that are also pretty brilliant words of wisdom about life (and sprinkled in are some funny ones just to make you laugh!). Grab your morning cup of coffee, read them, and start to live your life the “Seinfeld way.”

  1. “Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.”
  2. “The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge.”
  3. “We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.”
  4. “A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.”
  5. “Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.”
  6. “Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death.”
  7. “The greatest Jewish tradition is to laugh. The cornerstone of Jewish survival has always been to find humor in life and in ourselves.”
  8. “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
  9. “Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women; a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.”
  10. “You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.”
  11. “You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That’s how you know you’re still alive.”
  12. “I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything—which, as you know, always leads to something—cuts into my nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.”
  13. “To me, if life boils down to one thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving.”
  14. “You can be passionate about anything. Pay attention, don’t let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.”
  15. “Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.”
  16. “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
  17. “Find the torture you’re comfortable with and you’ll do well.”
  18. “People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.”
  19. “Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water. The pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.”
  20. “The whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I wanted a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.”

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