Navigating an identity crisis: Causes, symptoms, and how to cope

What Is an Identity Crisis?

An identity crisis is a period of intense self-reflection and questioning about your sense of self, purpose, and place in the world. An identity crisis can happen at any age and is often triggered by major life changes, challenges, or a growing sense of disconnect with your beliefs and goals.

The concept of an identity crisis was first introduced by Erik Erikson, an early twentieth-century psychoanalyst who visualized human development in psychosocial stages from infancy through old age. According to Erikson, an identity crisis is a natural stage of development marked by role and identity experimentation. 

An identity crisis is not a mental illness. It’s also not the same thing as losing your identity, which suggests a more profound and enduring sense of disconnection or alienation from who you are. During an identity crisis, you may feel confused or conflicted about many aspects of yourself, including your goals, value system, gender, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, relationships, and more. Strongly held beliefs may no longer ring true.

While navigating an identity crisis may feel uncomfortable and challenging, this level of introspection often leads to personal growth. 

What Causes an Identity Crisis?

Major life transitions are a common cause of an identity crisis. These milestones can include:

• Entering adulthood
• Starting college or graduating from school 
• Getting married or entering coupledom
• Becoming a parent
• Entering midlife 
• Retiring from the workforce 

Being exposed to new ideas, and meeting new people, can be a catalyst. An identity crisis can be exacerbated by external factors, such as societal pressures, cultural expectations, or the influence of social media. These can all present conflicting ideals about what or who you should be.

Emotional upheavals can also be a catalyst. These triggers include:

• Moving to a new location
• Death of a loved one
• Going through a breakup or divorce
• Having financial difficulties
• Becoming seriously ill, or coping with a loved one’s serious illness 
• Losing a job

Unsettled issues or feelings from our past can trigger an identity crisis if they emerge later on. Unresolved internal conflicts or past traumas may resurface during challenging times, adding to internal confusion and disconnection from your sense of self. 

Signs and Symptoms of an Identity Crisis

During an identity crisis, you may experience intense inner turmoil while trying to figure out who you are. While struggling to regain footing, your hopes and dreams for the future may change or feel far away. This can lead to unsettling feelings of confusion and inner turmoil. You may also feel anxious, depressed, or empty. 

Your inner struggle may be hidden or it may be apparent to others. In some instances, your relationships may change in negative ways. During an identity crisis, you may pull away from friends or loved ones by whom you no longer feel supported.

Identity crisis symptoms include: 

• Reduced motivation to accomplish tasks at work or at home
• Trouble making large or small decisions
• Less interest in hobbies and other pursuits you previously enjoyed
• Preoccupation with existential questions such as, “Who am I? What is my true purpose in life?”
• Insomnia
• Persistent feelings of anxiety or worry that seem to have no cause
• Fatigue
• Changes in appetite
• Difficulty establishing short-term or long-term goals
• Making drastic life changes, like ending or starting a relationship
• Altering your appearance
• Behaving impulsively 

If you think you may be having an identity crisis, but you’re not really sure how you’re feeling, asking yourself these questions may help:

• Am I confused about who I am?
• Do I have a handle on what’s important to me? 
• Do I have goals that excite me? 
• Do I have trouble describing myself to other people, including my close friends? 
• Are my current feelings, values, or beliefs in conflict with what they once were?
• Do places, things, or people that once comforted me now make me anxious? 
• Am I having trouble making decisions?
• Do I feel overwhelmed?
• Am I unable to take next steps at school, work, or in my relationships? 

Navigating Through an Identity Crisis

While an identity crisis may feel like a journey without a clear destination, it’s a unique opportunity to stretch, grow, and heal. 

Psychology professor, James Marcia, expounded upon Erikson’s identity theory. Marcia identified four steps, or statuses, that people may pass through on their way toward resolving an identity crisis. If you’re feeling in the thick of it, recognizing the status you’re in may help:

• Identity diffusion – You have not yet begun to examine or question your self-identity. You have not committed to an identity or examined your options.
• Identity foreclosure – You’ve made an identity commitment, but have not explored other options. In some instances, you may be choosing by default what has been chosen for you by others, such as parents, mentors, or partners.
• Identity moratorium – You’re questioning and exploring your options, but have not committed to any particular identity or path.
• Identity achievement – You have completed your explorations and committed to an identity.

Coping Strategies for an Identity Crisis

Self-care and self-acceptance are important tools you can use to more effectively get through an identity crisis. These strategies may help:

• Explore your feelings with kindness – Self-reflection can be scary, especially if you tend to be self-critical. Take some time to explore what you’re feeling and thinking, without judgment. It may help to write things down in a private journal you can read and review.
• Identity your core values – Your value system is a foundation you can use throughout your lifetime as a guidepost during times of change. Even if your belief system changes, you can hold onto your core values. These may include things like having integrity, being kind to others, and pursuing respectful relationships. 
• Give yourself space for quiet time – Letting your mind go still is just as important as actively thinking things through. Meditation, yoga, or quiet walks in nature all give you the space to do that. You may also find that activities like swimming enable you to quiet and relax your mind.
• Maintain connection to others – Spend time with the people who appreciate and support you while you’re going through this time. Positive relationships can have a grounding effect that is calming and validating.
• Explore activities that bring you joy – Having fun and enjoying life does not have to be put on hold. Spend time doing the things you love, whether that’s reading, crafting, dancing, or watching movies. 
• Try on some new hats – This is also a good time to stretch and try new things, like travel, mountain climbing, or learning a new language. You get to draw upon whatever canvas you choose.
• Be patient with yourself – An identity crisis takes as long as it takes. Give yourself time to find the answers, without putting pressure on yourself to reach conclusions.
• Set goals and accept change – Change in life is inevitable. Sometimes things get better, sometimes worse, but nothing stays the same forever.  Set goals for your own personal growth, but let them go or change if they no longer suit you.

Having an identity crisis does not mean you have a mental illness. But in some situations, the emotions generated by an identity crisis may feel overwhelming. If you’re feeling depressed or anxious, talking to a therapist may help. It’s also important to seek help or support for feelings that overwhelm you to the point that you can’t function. A therapist can provide you with a diagnosis and work with you on coping strategies that can help you through this time. 

By taking these steps, you can work towards resolving your identity crisis and building a stronger, more cohesive sense of self.