Marriages with Domestic Violence
For those of you who remember the TV show called “The Honeymooners”, you remember the character Ralph Kramden. He spent most of each episode with his good friend Ed Norton trying to scheme and strike it rich. His wife Alice was always there to bring him down to earth when his ideas were all too crazy or likely to fail. In most episodes, Ralph’s short temper would get the best of him.
When this happened he would yell at others and threaten physical violence, particularly against Alice. Ralph’s favorite threats to her were “One of these days … one of these days … Pow! Right in the kisser!” or to knock her “to the Moon, Alice!” While Ralph never carried out his threats, they were portrayed as light hearted and humorous. However, with or without the laugh track this type of behavior is domestic violence.
Domestic violence can come in many variations including physical aggression (e.g. hitting, kicking, biting, spitting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects), threats of violence, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation, neglect, and/or verbal abuse. It is important to be aware of the signs and patterns of domestic violence so you can act and get help before it’s too late. Listed below is an example of what a cycle of domestic violence would look like between a batterer and a victim. To break this cycle you MUST remove the denial and acknowledge the reality of the situation.
YES, it is happening and the abuse it is his fault not yours.
NO, you did not “have it coming” and any injuries you may have sustained are serious.
YES, it will happen again no matter how much you want to believe the promises that it won’t.
Don’t wait to seek help, it could cost you your life.