Kirsten Coveney Clarke

I entered the field of social work because I wanted to help others. I wanted people to feel understood and create hope. I was always told I was not worthy, that I would not be anything in life and would not have people to love me. That's a horrible place to live in, it's unbearable. I learned differently because of someone who treated me with compassion. I am in recovery and I want to pay it forward. I don't want anyone else to feel the way I did.

I work best with clients who want to change but are uncertain as to how. I work best with those who are somewhat scared but also want to find a better way to live. I work well with those who listen and recognize therapy can take time and it's ok to feel afraid. Change can be overwhelming.

I wish all clients knew that the healing process is possible for everyone. We don't have to do or be anything in particular. We are all deserving of love, connection and safety. No matter our history or behaviors, we all deserve to be whole.

The first session and early stages are marked by trying to create rapport, to create a sense of safety. I strive to answer questions and address thoughts. I want to hear if someone is uncertain because I want to talk about that. I want people to feel like they can be themselves. I also try, if appropriate, to inject some humor as I believe humor can create comfort, which builds trust.

The personal experiences which inform my practice are born from trauma. Trauma as an experience creates the path we travel on in many ways. We learn to protect ourselves, to avoid being seen, because of trauma. This increases anxiety, depression and a sense of loneliness because there is so much we feel we need to do to avoid being hurt. I spent years dealing with my trauma but it's part of my fabric and I am grateful for it. The values that guide me are compassion, empathy and kindness. Everything I do is guided by these values because without them I am not whole.

Therapy should always be tailored to the client. Our focus is to always meet people where they are at. I strive to understand people so that I can identify strategies or tools that would be useful to them. Attempting to force a round peg into a square hole doesn't work no matter what we do. The same can be said about therapy. Clients come to therapy for resolution, for understanding. If I don't pay attention to each person as a unique individual, I miss everything.