Couples Counseling in Pasadena, CA —Establishing a Healthy Relationship

Sit-coms make being in a couple look easy. The hard part of a TV show relationship is getting together. Think about Jim and Pam, Ross and Rachel, Laura and Urkel, Big and Carrie. Even though fans knew they were destined for each other, it took years to come together. Once they were a couple, they had their happily-ever-after. Wouldn’t it be nice if the real world worked like that? For many partners, their reality is that being a couple is hard work. Couples regularly run into difficulties. It is normal to feel annoyed, overwhelmed, or frustrated within a long-term relationship. It is also normal for couples to go to therapy together. Real-life problems do not easily resolve in a 30-minute TV show like they do for sit-com couples. Skilled couples counselors can often help partners work through their problems and build a happier, healthier relationship.

There is no magic formula for solving a couple’s problems. However, there are relationship experts who guide couples toward healthier ways to relate to each other.

“I have my own high standards for what I want in a partner and how I want to be treated. I bring a lot to the table. I’m not talking about material things but what I have to offer as a person – love and loyalty and all the things that make a good relationship.” —Jennifer Lopez

The professionals at Thriveworks Pasadena have worked with many couples who were struggling and helped them work toward a healthier relationship. Sometimes, that healthier relationship looks like a deeper connection. Sometimes, that healthier relationship looks like transition to a friendship. Whatever the couples chooses, a Thriveworks Pasadena couples therapist can often help them achieve a better relationship.

How Do Healthy Partners Relate to Each Other?

TV couples often portray unrealistic assumptions about what a healthy couple is and how happy partners relate to each other. In real life, relationships that are happy and healthy take significant amounts of effort and time. What does that effort and time looks like in daily life? Happy couples often…

1) Do not keep secrets from each other. Instead, they work hard to be fully known within the relationship.
In healthy relationships, both partners know each other fully. They know each other’s weaknesses, failures, and struggles. They know each other’s strengths, successes, and achievements. Healthy partners to not shame each other, and their relationship is not based upon fear. Instead of trying to be perfect, happy partners present themselves to each other with honesty. This vulnerability allows the relationship to flourish and intimacy to increase.

2) Retain their unique personality and distinctiveness.
Healthy couples are made up of healthy individuals. Being in a relationship does not mean that an individual’s needs are automatically fulfilled, that their personality is automatically expressed, that their feelings are automatically respected, or that their responsibilities cease. Even while in a long-term, committed relationship, self-care is important, and personal growth should be a priority. Each partner should continue to take responsibility for their own interests, needs, feelings, and choices.

3) Show respect toward each other’s differences.
When each partner retains their uniqueness within the relationship, there will be differences. Disagreements between partners is normal and even a sign of health when done respectfully. Democrats can be happy in a relationship with Republicans. Protestants can be happy in a relationship with Catholics. St. Louis Cardinals fans can be happy in a relationship with Chicago Cubs’ fans. When partners value their differences… when partners refuse to shame each other for being different… how they are different can also be how they learn from each other… how they spur one another on toward their goals… how they connect.

4) Make their connection a top priority.
This may be an obvious characteristic of happy couples, but when life gets busy, happy partners guard their time together. They know how to connect, and they do not cheat each other out of time or effort. They are willing to turn down other opportunities so that their relationship maintains a healthy connection. Partners can be busy, but they always find each other.

5) Privately and publicly support each other.
Happy couples know each other’s dreams, and they support each other. They do not speak poorly about their partner. They always look out for each other’s best interests. Happy, healthy couples are also allies in life.

6) Make sacrifices for each other.
Some people think that couples split the workload within a relationship 50-50, but healthy couples give and sacrifice and do not keep track. Both partners will need extensive help at times. Both partners will give to the point of sacrifice at times.

Setting Up an Appointment at Thriveworks Pasadena for Couples Therapy

When partners go through a difficult season in their relationship, it can feel like they are the only couple who is struggling. However, many couples get off track and need help finding a path forward. Many partners also seek out couples therapy when they feel like they have lost their way. That is why the therapists at Thriveworks Pasadena offer couples counseling. We are ready to help, and we have appointments available. When you call our office, know that a scheduling specialist will answer and help you make an appointment. We offer evening and weekend sessions. New clients often meet with their counselor within 24 hours of their call to make an appointment. We also accept many forms of insurance. Call Thriveworks Pasadena today.