Kalamazoo Codependency Counseling

Coaching for Codependent People in Kalamazoo, MI—Therapists and Counselors

Offering and receiving help is a normal, healthy part of friendships and families. Nobody can make it in life without some assistance from time to time, and loved ones are usually happy to offer support. A healthy interdependency, however, can easily turn into unhealthy codependency. People are giving codependency a lot of attention these days because a lot of people struggle with how, when, and why to help their loved ones.

Is it actually possible to help too much, too often, or in the wrong ways? Yes. Consider Peter’s story.

Peter is the quintessential nice-guy. He is so nice, he can just sense how to help and do what needs to be done. Peter loves his family and would do anything for them. In fact, his wife, Karen, has a little drinking problem. It’s not a big problem because Peter keeps an eye on how much alcohol she consumes each night. Their system does not always work. He has called into her work a few times, but Peter tells himself that it could be worse. He could have to call every week. Peter knows that Karen does not see all that he does for her, but he feels like taking care of her is his job as her husband. He loves seeing her happy.

There is no question that Peter loves Karen very much. But Peter’s actions may in reality be harming himself and Karen. He may be codependent.

Many people shelter their family and friends from the consequences of their reckless choices or addiction. These people may sacrifice their own financial, emotional, or physical health in order to help their loved one. The only problem is that these actions may cause more harm than good and may also be codependent.

The codependent therapists at Thriveworks Kalamazoo have coached many people on how to overcome their codependency and stop helping in ways that harm their loved one or themselves.

Codependent People

Codependent people fixate upon other people needs, thoughts, and actions in adverse ways. Codependency used to be called co-addiction because people who struggle with it often choose relationships with people who have an addiction. However, codependency can happen in many kinds of relationships. Often, codependent people subconsciously choose to form relationships with people who have high needs.

Solving another person’s problems become a proving ground for the codependent’s self-worth. Codependent people often struggle with deep shame, passivity, and insecurity. Instead of working through these feelings, they tell themselves that they can prove they are loved, competent, and active through fixing other people. They may put their own mental, physical, or financial health in peril in order to meet another person’s needs. However, this strategy does not work, and often leads to more feelings of shame, passivity, and insecurity for the codependent.

Codependent Relationships

Many kinds of relationships can become codependent—spouses, friends, parents, children, coworkers, and more. Because people generally associate helping as a positive attribute, it can be hard to know the difference between codependency and normal interdependency. To help, the following are signs that a relationship may be codependent. When one individual…

  • Regularly experiences feelings of resentment, anger, or being imposed upon for supporting the other.
  • Will not say “no,” set a limit, or establish a boundary.
  • Is afraid of experiencing payback if they do not compensate for the other’s poor behavior.
  • Shields the other from consequences of their behavior.
  • Does not break off the relationship even after experiencing emotional, financial, or physical harm.
  • Elevates the other’s emotional, financial, or physical needs above their own.
  • Is extremely defensive of the other.
  • Is in denial about or minimizes the other’s problems.
  • Has difficulty talking about their own needs, thoughts, and emotions, especially if they think these will upset the other.

Healing from Codependent Behaviors

If you can recognize some codependent behaviors in your own life, know that healing and personal growth are possible. Acknowledging your feelings, thoughts, and actions may be the first step toward establish healthier ways of relating. If you have struggled with codependency, doing this may be hard, but therapy may facilitate the process.

Therapists have helped many people learn how to…

  1. Be present during challenges (healthy) without having to fix the other person (unhealthy).
  2. Acknowledge and resolve any negative beliefs that cultivated the codependent behavior.
  3. Work through past traumas and change unhealthy coping mechanisms.
  4. Say, “no” when they mean, “no.” Say, “yes,” when they mean, “yes.”
  5. Prioritize their emotional, financial, and physical health.
  6. Form relationships with mutual respect and as equals.

Are you feeling overwhelmed and resentful? Are you ready to work on your own health and well-being? Thriveworks Kalamazoo is here to help, and our therapists have appointments for codependency available.

If you make an appointment with Thriveworks Kalamazoo, you may see your therapist the following day. We have weekend and evening sessions available, and we work with most major insurance providers. We do not keep a waitlist but work hard to ensure clients see their therapists as soon as possible.

Are you ready for healthier, happier relationships? Call Thriveworks Kalamazoo today. We are ready to help.

Thriveworks Counseling Kalamazoo

People Love Our Providers!

Overall Rating: 5★★★★★ based on 16 5 1 16 reviews. See all reviews
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First session

This will be short since I can only type with one hand currently, but I thoroughly enjoyed my first session with Dan. He seems very patient, thoughtful, and intelligent. I look forward to working with him and letting him pick my brain to help me become a healthier and more balanced person!
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Non-Judgmental and good listener – a rare gem!

Cassie met with my cousin for several sessions to discuss issues related to my cousin's childhood. Cassie helped my cousin assess her feelings in a balanced way . She was also very supportive, listening and providing feedback effectively without being judgmental. This was exactly what my cousin needed. A very rare technique among many counselors these days.
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Professional and Relatable

Rudy was professional and approachable. He was able to point out beliefs I had that were interfering with my ability to enjoy my life, but did so in a respectful manner. He was an effective therapist, with a genuine, caring approach.
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The best
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The intake coordinator Brittany was AMAZING. She listened to my needs so she could match me with a therapist that could help me. She was incredibly kind and truly listened to me in a stressful situation.
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Alex Ansell who was fantastic

Alex helped me more than I can say! He was sensitive and patient with me and helped we work through some very difficult issues. His knowledge and communication skills guided me towards a positive outcome that gave me great peace. Thank you so much Alex for being there for me!
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Thriveworks team is awesome!

Heather has always been the person that many people go to for advice and help. When she isn't helping people at work she is helping people at our church. All of the staff at Thriveworks are great. I highly recommend Thriveworks Counseling.
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Great experience

The experience from the persons answering the phone and emails to my counselor, Heather, have been efficient and very helpful. I'm very thankful for Thriveworks because I can count on you when I need you most.
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Heather and Thriveworks are awesome!

Heather is super awesome and helped get me back on track with my anxiety! If you are struggling at all with mental health issues, Thriveworks and Heather are fantastic help!
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Heather is excellent! Her professionalism and integrity are spot on.
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Caring, compassionate, complete

After having several friends work with Heather I can honestly say there isn't anyone else I would be willing to refer those seeking counseling. She cares about complete healing and really takes the time to care. It shows in her interactions with her clients as well as in how her clients speak of her.
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I would like to share something very personal with everyone so that you can find the help that you need. My husband was in the Marine Corps and served a couple of tours overseas. He suffered from PTSD from what he went through and losing some of his fellow Marines. He introduced me to Heather the wife of one of his fellow Marines. She has been a god sent during my time of grief. He passed away in July 2017, and I have been working through everything since. She has been someone that I can go to whenever I need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. She doesn't judge me and my situation as to how I am handling it. She just listens and helps where she can. Heather is a person that gets it and will help you anyway she can. I can honestly say I am truly blessed to have met her and now call her my friend. Anyone who is able to meet her and get help from her is lucky. So if you are looking for someone I would highly recommend you setting up an appointment with her. You can't go wrong with choosing her as your counselor. So please if you are looking for help call today and get your appointment with Heather. You will never look back and she will help you look forward to the new future. She did that for me!!! I'm truly lucky to have her in my corner!!!
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Great People

When you need someone who will listen and not tell you how to feel. Heather is there. She will take the time to listen and give you the help you need. She comes to the task as a very professional and helpful counselor.
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Great Place

This place is a breath of fresh air for me. I went in with terrible anxiety and am already feeling a bit better. My counselor is very capable and the staff in the office is very friendly. Would recommend them to my dearest friends.
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Need compassion?

Starr combines a strong professionalism with a caring and understanding spirit. She inspires change through her grace and practical wisdom.
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Starr Bull

I have worked professionally with Starr for several years and I highly recommend her. Starr is extremely knowledgeable and compassionate. Starr is highly skilled in several areas of counseling and is a wonderful counselor.
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Thriveworks Counseling & Psychiatry Portage

Schedule your first appointment with a Thriveworks Counselor or Life Coach!

  • 524 E Milham Ave Suite B
    Portage, MI 49002

  • Mon-Fri:7AM-930PM

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