30 Years ago I started this journey of discovery and self exploration. I have had periods of satisfaction however I continue to struggle with depression and chronic low level anxiety.
I have switched medications, have been diagnosed and re-diagnosed, tried to fit into each category and follow through on my due diligence to see these treatments to their end…
I am now 54 and have never felt less grounded or decisive. I have no idea who I am, and though I have strong opinions I waver and have been easily led away from my beliefs. I have had the same psychiatrist now for more than 5 years and just want someone to tell me what the hell to do in order to progress.
I do not have a substance abuse problem and spent the majority of the last 30 years abstaining though I no longer have the desire to remain abstinent. I have been married for 20 years though we are separated and continue to see each other. I cannot seem to reach a place of satisfaction.
I live on a small island and am worried that my ambivalence will see me following my husband to an even more remote location…I have no sense of direction for my life and tend to live as support staff for others. Then I resent them. Yeah…I know. Help
A recommendation to see another counselor may be frustrating for you because it sounds as if you have been to a few. But the key to any life situation is to never give up hope. Richard Rohr has written that all greatness comes out of struggles and hardship. Not despite of hardship but because of hardship. It is through the struggle that we grow.
So continue to pursue a counselor or therapist that is a good fit for you. Finding the right person may take some time but it is worth it when you do. This person can be a sounding board that will understand you and connect with you. But a good therapist can also provide a perspective to your situation(s) that you have not seen before.
Remember, peace of mind may mean just getting up just one more time than you fall down.