My husband was diagnosed with depression two years ago, and went to see that doctor one time and took Trintelix. He quit taking this on his own, and since then has started talking to another woman. I caught them spending the day together about 2 weeks ago, and kicked him out of house. I don’t know that this was the best decision. He still texts me daily, he has passed out 4 times in the last month, and this week he got dizzy while he was driving and pulled off the road. I just don’t know how to help him, our three girls are so mad and hurt, and do not really talk with him. He has pretty much abandoned the whole family in the last 6 months, and has lost his faith in God. I know that he loves me, because he keeps asking for help, but when I say we need to go somewhere, because I don’t know what to do he says no. I am really scared of him having a heart attack or stoke at this point. Our kids are telling me to divorce him, and I just don’t know if I can abandon him when I know this is not my husband.Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hi Jennifer. You have taken a big step by reaching out for professional support during what is likely a very unsettling time for your entire family. From what you describe above, the best course of action that you can take at this time for your family, is to seek help for yourself so that you are able to make the best choices for those things that are within you span of control (you and your minor children). As for your husband, it definitely sounds like he may be experiencing some level of crisis in his life that may call for professional attention, but that is a choice he will need to make for himself. You may be able to suggest that he speak with his physician, a counselor or other mental health professional for help and guidance. You may also want to provide him with a local or national crisis number in the event he is not comfortable seeking immediate in person assistance. One such number is the national crisis line, 800-273-8255.
Again, the best gift you can give your family, is a physically, emotionally, mentally stable version of yourself.
I agree with Stacy, you need to get support for yourself and your children first. It is always a choice to get help. I have found it to be very true during my time as a mental health professional that, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” People will only make changes when they want to and are ready to go through the process. You can lead them right into a counseling session, but it’s their choice to take part in it. Now is the time to set good boundaries with your husband and to keep referring him to seek out professional help.