how can i help a friend who reaches out to me but then tends to shut down? the person tends to trust others and then run into people that take advantage and then my friend tends to slip into depression and throws verbal punches at me until it becomes desperate and then it is a roller coaster every month with the friend who has mental issues and i feel frustrated at not fixing the problem and i myself have mental issues but a different diagnosis. What would you advise me to do in this situation ?
I agree with Abraham. Your friend trusts you enough to reach out to you. However, people who are hurting emotionally are not always consistent with their self expression and will often lash out to those closest to us. It is important to consider what emotional toll interacting with your friend takes on you and your own self image. If you feel your self image is fairly stable, even in the midst of her verbal attacks toward you, remember that if you withstand her attacks without a similar response, she may grow in her trust of you and may model the way that you respond to her hostility with a calm affect.
Hi there, it sounds like your friend trusts you enough to reach out to you, though is having some roadblocks in being able to recognize some larger patterns that may be taking place in their relationships. It’s not fair that they are throwing verbal punches at you like that when you are there for them.
You are not responsible for fixing their problems. On occasion, all we can really do as friends is to provide a listening ear.
Sometimes, when people run into cycles in the ways that they interact with others, it can be helpful for them to see a therapist to gain some insight into: 1. noticing when these patterns are coming into focus and 2. finding skillful ways to break free from them.