1 Comment
0

how can i help a friend who reaches out to me but then tends to shut down? the person tends to trust others and then run into people that take advantage and then my friend tends to slip into depression and throws verbal punches at me until it becomes desperate and then it is a roller coaster every month with the friend who has mental issues and i feel frustrated at not fixing the problem and i myself have mental issues but a different diagnosis. What would you advise me to do in this situation ?

Posted new comment

I would advise three things to consider:
1. Pay attention your own emotional reactions first and attempt to regulate that emotional state. You may ask how do I regulate emotions; when you feel a reaction first thing to do is breathe ( 4-7-8 breathing is a good technique) breathe in through your nose for a count of 4 (slowly) hold in your lungs for a count of 7, breathe out through your mouth for a count of 8. The breathing circulates new oxygen and gets rid of the used up carbon dioxide. This helps your brain to think more effectively and efficiently. The counting slows your thinking down so you can make a choice about what you want to say or not say. Repeat at least three times or until calm.

2. Pay attention to listening to your expectations you may have for the conversation. Sometimes we want more than the other person wants for themselves. They may just want to be heard and affirmed in that moment. If that’s the case whatever expectation you may have for that person won’t be met causing you frustration. Now this is assuming the conversation is not about a safety concern. That would require a different response.

3. You can always ask your friend how you can help them because you really care about that person and want what is best for him/her. They ultimately need to make choices for themselves knowing their friends won’t abandon them or force opinions on them. Self determination is very important.